Nick and Nancy's Ukraine Adoption

babushka and dadushka

2009-01-26T13:54:00.002-05:00

I'll spare you some of the ugly times we experienced at the customs when entering into USA but it certainly wasn't a short process. However, what kept my overly tired boys going was the knowledge that they would soon meet babushka and dadushka! They had seen their pictures in our photo album and always wanted to identify them.

Well my father had arrived when the plane landed and waited an hour and a half for us then decided that we must have missed our plane and returned home. So he was certainly suprised when I called asking for a ride home in his van. Ruslan and Valik waited as best they could. The pointed at every woman walking around the airport saying "babushka?" Finally they arrived? Two little kids sprinted down the aisle and lept into their arms. I could tell how happy my mother and father were to meet them. Dad gave each of them a pair of sunglasses, which they had been asking us for since Lugansk! A big hit! They even wear their glasses to bed!

Arriving home was so much fun. They wandered around our house amazed at the size of it. I thought they'd fall right to sleep, but no. They are so curious about everything. Nick and I gave them a bath and got them into their pajamas hoping that would help get the idea into them. Then little Valik found my closet and came out to entertain the family dressed in my high heels. We finally got Ruslan and "Valentina" to lie down and end our arduous day of travel.

McDonald's is NOT Their Kind of Place

2009-01-19T18:11:00.003-05:00

Yulia had given us directions to get to a nearby McDonald's. We thought that would be a special treat for the boys and be a welcome change in our diet.

It turns out they had no idea what McDonald's was. I figured they would know french fries, since we had eaten them in Ukraine. But I guess living in a small town like Lutugino, McDonald's and fries were a mystery to them.

We got them bundled up for a walk through the snow. It went ok for a while, but Ruslan seems to get cold easily. He wasn't that jazzed about going to a restaurant in the first place. When he saw the entrance to a place we had eaten before (a small cafe in a supermarket), he tried to pull us in there. We said no, it was a couple of blocks further. He wasn't happy with that.

After about 2 blocks, he started complaining about being cold (though that didn't seem to be an issue when he saw a Playstation 3 display in a store window). He began to get more upset as we walked about 3 more blocks. He was literally dragging his feet. We kept telling him we would have already been there if he would walk normally.

Finally, after another block we saw McDonald's. But by this time, he had gotten sullen as he tends to do. He stood at the counter moping and would not order food. I ordered him and Valik a cheeseburger

Хеппі мил (Happy Meal). The meals for 5 of us came to about $25. Not bad.

McDonald's is a happening place in Kyiv. The restaurant seats about 300, and there were about 350 people there.

We got our food and headed to the one table we were able to find available. Ruslan was too mad to eat, and Valik only eats air, so the 2 of them sat for a long time, while the rest of us ate a McDonald's meal that we actually liked. We truly have been gone for a long time.

After about 10 minutes, Ruslan tasted a french fry which he found to his liking. That and the toy slowly brought him out of his shell. He finally ate most of his cheeseburger. We got Valik to try his. He could tolerate the fries but hated the cheeseburger. He began whining for morozhena (ice cream). We bought some McNuggets and said he could only have ice cream if he ate a nugget. Eventually he did.

The boys cheered up quite a bit after they got ice cream.

As we were preparing to leave, Valik got up and wandered to a nearby table where a family was eating. I chastised him for bothering them and the mom, a pretty red-head around 30 said something in Russian. I apologized that I only spoke English. She responded in pretty good English that she was happy to have my son play with her daughter.

We explained we had adopted and only had the boy for a few days so far. She didn't understand. I said he was from a Detsky Dom (children's house). Then she understood. She asked how we liked Ukraine. I responded, "Very much". She said, "Are you crazy?"

I said maybe I hadn't seen enough then, but I was enjoying it. Besides I like pork and chicken so was enjoying the food.

After a few minutes we broke off and headed home.

It turned out ok, but had not been the treat for the boys we had hoped. I guess American cultural imperialism only goes so far.

Yet....

The Great Patriotic War Museum

2009-01-19T18:10:00.029-05:00

Well, after a nightmarish day like yesterday (1/17), we were due for a good day. And we had one, though the boys still were challenging.

Yuri took us to a museum commemorating the Great Patriotic War (aka WW II). The museum has both indoor and outdoor displays.

The outdoor stuff includes static displays of tanks, helicopters, airplanes, and even an SS missile.

The boys were able to climb into the cockpit of a helicopter from the Afghanistan War of the 1970s as well as the cockpit of a transport plane. I think the woman there said it was a DC-3, which seems odd. Not sure when that sale would have been made. I must have misunderstood her.

These were a huge hit with the boys even though it was c-o-o-l-d outside.

The museum is at the foot of a huge statue representing the Rodina (the homeland). It is roughly the size of the Statue of Liberty, or slightly higher.

The helicopter was the biggest hit. Especially since it has gun sound effects attached to the pilot’s trigger.

The boys were relatively good, though in their excitement they kept running behind the displays which was not allowed. One of the guards made a big angry display to get them to follow the rules (though it was an act. He was irritated, but pretended to be much more to scare the boys).

But running around outside was very good for them. The interior portion of the museum was more challenging. As usual, Ruslan was pretty good though not perfect. Valik was loud, defiant, and kept running away.

Still, we were able to take in a good bit about the battles against the Nazis in Kyiv. We were not able to go up into the statue as it was closed since there had been a few suicides there.

The boys, as well as Nancy and I, enjoyed climbing on the tanks of love, or whatever they call it. Colin was disgusted that hippies had apparently invaded Ukraine, though in a way he was glad to see they are not only in the US.

We had a very cold walk back up the hill to make a brief visit to a very old (~1000 years) Orthodox church. The boys bought a candle and put it in their display (I don’t know the terms, as I don’t know anything about rituals). Nancy and I bought 2 hand-painted icons (of Jesus and Mary). They were painted by the local monks. We got them for about $25, which is less than the frames would have cost back home.

After, we wanted to tour more, but given the cold, we felt it best to head back home.

We had intended to go to the TGI Fridays nearby to get some American food. But we decided it would be too late to get the boys to bed. Instead, we cooked some food and watched Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer with the boys. They liked the way we sang along with all the songs and hummed along as if they knew the tunes.

We are beginning to see that these boys need activity to burn off lots of energy. It’s amazing the amount of energy Valik has given that the boy does not eat.

All in all, a good day, and an answer to prayer after the previous day’s nightmare.

Catch Up #4: Final Adoption Steps in Kyiv

2009-01-19T18:10:00.014-05:00

We got to our new flat in Kyiv, and threw our bags in. I took 10 minutes to shave and clean up a bit, but there was no time to unpack or shower.

We scrambled off in moments to the American Embassy, leaving Colin and Claire at the homestead.

I have to admit, it was nice to be on American soil, if only briefly, and not feel self-conscious about speaking English.

Ruslan and Valik really enjoyed the security check, especially being wanded for metal. I don't think they knew what was going on, but they thought it was cool.

I miss my workouts at home. The door there must have about 3 inches of glass, and was hard to open.

The people there were very nice and helpful. Nothing like the typical bureaucrat. They went over each form I had to fill in in detail and gave me a new one without grumbling when I made a mistake. Kudos to the State Department (FYI: this was pre-Clinton tenure).

They also were flexible in setting a Visa appointment for that afternoon. We were trying to get our medical exam that day and return, but were unsure of the time. They gave us a tentative appointment and said just to call if we could not make it. Wow. I've never had a government process work so well (and I don't think anyone who knows me has ever heard me compliment a government agency).

After filling out gobs of paperwork and paying $800 fee for the 2 boys, we ran off to some hospital that is blessed for medical exams. I think this means they are Western-trained, but it may be that they just have met some government standards. Not sure really.

The doctor was a very nice woman around 50-55 years old. I have never seen a doctor spend so much time in an appointment. We were there for about 1 1/2 hours.

Valik misbehaved terribly while the doctor discussed the existing medical records with us. He kept grabbing things from her desk and around the office. He pulled items off the wall and kept putting things like coins in his mouth. He would not respond to our requests or demands and laid on the floor when he didn't get his way.

However, when the doctor began her exam, he straightened right up. He obeyed all her commands and was good about letting her exam him. He did giggle a good bit. He is a boy after all. He also answered all her questions and did the best he could at identifying words and letters and counting. He can count to 10 and knew a few letters, but that is all.

Her opinion of him initially was quite negative, but as she did her exam and saw him respond she saw that he was not slow, just hyperactive (which we already knew of course). She was able to dispel a few diagnoses in his official (and quite sparse) medical records. She also noted a problem with his adenoids (a simple fix) and a curvature of his little finger, suggesting some neglect at an early age. We hadn't noticed that but it was consistent with what we know of his upbringing (which I would rather not go into here).

After his exam, Yulia (thankfully) took him to sit with her, and the doctor examined Ruslan.

His health is good. She was not pleased with his reading and math knowledge (which is to say, none at all). But it appears that this is more due to the education he has received so far rather than his ability.

She wrapped up saying that she didn't really see why we were adopting since we already had two children. She said that our biological children should come first before the new boys. Apparently, she shares the typical (so we are told) Ukrainian bias against adopted children. Obviously, we disagreed and said all our children are equal.

After the exam, Nancy and Yulia took the boys to the hospital cafeteria for some soup and barley while I waited for the medical package (required for the embassy) and paid for the exam ($220 for both boys).

The medical exam is actually for the benefit of immigration and not for us. They really just want to see if there are any communicable diseases and such (there are not).

Afterward, we returned to the embassy in time for our 2:30 appointment.

Again, the staff was very kind, while Valik was not. He kept pressing the call button for the staff, was very loud, threw himself limp to the floor, and yelled obscenities. It was not pleasant. (FYI, Ruslan was not perfect, but in comparison was very good).

We apologized to the staff for the names they were called. One woman came to the counter and told him in Russian that they do not allow little boys who use such language to come to America. I don't think he bought it. I guess he has seen American television. But it was a valiant effort on her part.

We had to wait about 20 minutes for visa processing which was good, because usually they only give it to you after 24 hours.

They came to the window with 2 sealed packets, one for each boy. We are to give these to INS agents at the airport in Charlotte when we arrive. They are to remain sealed. We then found out that the only copy of the medical report is in there.

Explaining that to the woman at the embassy, she offered to break the packet open and make a copy for us. Again, great service.

With that, and after a tired day, we were now finished with the adoption process in Ukraine and were ready to leave.

But we wanted to stay a few days to sight see in Kyiv, since we weren't able to at the beginning of the trip.

We went back to the flat to get cleaned up and settled in. After all, we still were wearing the same clothes we wore in Lugansk and on the train.

Catch Up #3: Overnight Train to Kyiv

2009-01-19T18:07:00.009-05:00

01/15/09: We decided it would be best to split the boys up given our experience the prior night. Ruslan wanted to sleep with me, so Colin, Ruslan, and I shared a cabin. Nancy, Claire, Natasha, and Valik shared the other.

Of course, sharing the cabin only applies to the actual sleeping time. At all other times, the boys were moving so fast between one cabin and the other that I think they actually bent the laws of time and space and coexisted in each simultaneously once or twice.

Ruslan and Valik wanted the upper berths down and moved up and down every 30 seconds, then back and forth to the other cabin. Meanwhile, Colin, Claire, and I would sneak bites of chips and sips of Coca Cola Light while the boys weren't looking (else there would have been constant begging for some for them). That may not be completely fair, but they are little, and I say Rank Has Its Privileges.

[As wild as our ride was, it was still tame compared to Natasha's New Year's Eve train to Kyiv. The festivities apparently went on long and hard to the extent that the woman who sells track in the cabins got extremely drunk and threw up. Glad we missed that one.]

We decided to try to get the boys to bed as early as possible, so we went at about 6pm to the dining car. Then the fun began.

The dining car was about 8 cars away from ours. That means we had to navigate through about 48 doors and cross 8 car junctions. That is a challenge as the little catwalk is narrow and the gaps at the side are big enough for the boys legs to slip through. And then, the cars turn opening and closing the gaps, and potentially crushing little legs. OSHA would have a field day.

We started off well for about 3 cars. But then Valik decided he no longer wanted to hold hands. He refused to do so, and then started yelling and flopped down on the floor of the car. We sent Colin, Claire, and Ruslan along with Natasha, while Nancy and I returned to our cabin with Valik screaming all the way.

Nancy held him tight for about 10 minutes. That calmed him down (though he hates it).

We returned and ate a very messy meal. I had a very good pork chop. Valik, as usual, would not eat at first, but eventually ate a few bites.

We split the boys up for the evening. Ruslan was in the bunk across from me. He kept playing with the volume on the radio and turning the lights on and off. However, after several admonishments, he hummed himself to sleep.

As before the train got horribly hot until about 1am. Probably over 90 degrees. Then they turned the heat off, so by the time we woke up at 6am, it was almost comfortable. Other than a few bathroom emergencies, it was pretty uneventful.

We arrived at Kyiv at about 8:30am, caught up with Yulia and Yuri and crammed our bags and us into 2 cars and made our way to our way to our flat.

Catch Up Note: Last Day in Lugansk

2009-01-19T16:55:00.004-05:00

I resolved to get up early and slip into Ruslan's room so as to not have him go into a jealous frenzy first thing in the morning.

Valik is a squirmy sleeper, and the bed we were on (where Colin and Claire had been sleeping) is very thin with about very sharp springs. Further, no one in Ukraine seems to have fitted sheets, so the sheet kept slipping off. And I am like the protagonist in "The Princess and the Pea" (or "Once Upon a Mattress" for you Carol Burnett fans) when it comes to irritants in the bed. So I didn't sleep so well after going to bed at 2am after completing my blogging.

Valik woke up at about 6am singing to himself. He likes to sing when he is happy. It's really nice, though I would have enjoyed it even more at about 8am. Before long, he realized I was in bed with him and we snuggled up for about 45 minutes.

We started playing the "Ya teb-yah loo-bleu" (I love you) game. He would say "Ya teb-yah loo-bleu", to which I would say "Eee Ya teb-yah loo-bleu", to which he would say "Eee Ya teb-yah loo-bleu", to which I would say "Eee Ya teb-yah loo-bleu", etc. etc. This wen ton for about 5 minutes.

Then he decided to wake up Ruslan. He left the room before I could stop him. I slipped in to Ruslan's room to minimize the damage. I was wrong. There was no memory of the problems the night before. He was as happy as a clam (and we all know that's the happiest animal in phylum mollusca, so I think you can envision it).

The boys are great in the mornings. Nancy works with them to make breakfast each morning, and they love it. One of their favorite things in the world to do is to make scrambled eggs. They take the shell and smash about half of them, but the other half make it into the bowl to stir. Of that, about another half makes it into the pan. But the eggs have been very good. I think they have a knack for cooking.

We spent a couple of hours packing, which was no small chore. We don't have that much stuff, but had been crammed into a small apartment for a month, with a tiny washer, and no dryer. Things just migrate around the place, so collecting them took a while.

Nancy left for a couple of hours, and honestly I can't remember where. I think she went to look at furs with Natasha and Claire, but can't recall. I like to block that sort of thing from my memory. Meanwhile I took care of the boys.

We tried reading the grinch, going over the Disney English book, and stuff like that. there were a few incidents but not too bad. I recall Natasha calling to ask how things were (she had been staying in a separate place since returning from Kyiv for New Year's / Christmas). and telling her there had been a few incidents, but all told the boys were doing well and behaving pretty well. And that was true.

But as the day went on, things wore down. We were mostly done packing, but still somewhat preoccupied since we had to get to the train station for our 4:40pm train to Kyiv. The boys began shouting and kicking at each other, taking offense and swinging fists at each other for minor things, and we found out more about Valik's gift for speaking in tongues (that's the nice way to put it). By the time Nancy got home, I was worn out. She took the boys out to take out trash (one of their favorite pastimes) and to go on the swings. that gave me a chance to finish the final packing details and get a bite to eat.

After that, I had to get cash to pay Peter and Sergei for the past week's driving as well as for the train ticket to Kyiv. I got about $500 worth of hryvnia at 8.50 to the dollar. I also got a few last minute groceries to take with us on the train. Unfortunately, I forgot that we needed to pay Peter for the train tickets he had picked up the prior night while we had our going away party at the orphanage. The train had been sold out, but they were able to speak to the station manager who just happened to have a couple of sleeper cabins reserved. We got two cabins (4 beds each) for $260 (a fair amount above the going rate, but greatly appreciated nonetheless).

So I didn't have enough hryvnia to pay Peter all I owed him, but I just worked out the difference and paid him in dollars. I also paid Nikolai for 15 days at the flat at $75 / day.

All in all, we have been spending about $150 - 160 a day between lodging, food, and transportation. Food has been less expensive than expected, lodging a bit more (versus about $60 we had expected) and transportation about $50-60 a day (versus about $30-40 expected). Fortunately, we brought more money than we thought we would need.

Nikolai and Nadia dropped by to collect their money and to say goodbye. They were great with the kids, though I think they were a bit shocked by their behavior. The boys had been cooped up in the flat most of the day and were getting more and more moody. When we took our good-bye picture, Ruslan was in a mood and refused to get in the shot.

We gave our little birch Christmas tree to Nikolai and Nadia and invited them to stay with us in Charlotte should they ever visit. They are the nicest couple. Especially Nikolai, who seems like the nice next door neighbor who would have visited Mr. Rogers in the Land of Make-believe. We were glad to avoid an issue with their gift as we were concerned that Nancy might have inadvertently given them the Christmas gift I gave to her (meaning Nancy). I bought her a little art-decoish / arts & craftsish candlestick statue. We had it out on the table by the tree the day after Christmas. When he stopped by Nadia looked at it and asked (in Russian) what it was. Nancy told her it was a Christmas gift. Her eyes got big and she called Nikolai, and they said "spaseeba". Nancy smiled and nodded. I suddenly realized they must have thought it was a gift for them, but didn't have enough Russian to explain the situation at the moment. We had been living in dread that they would want to keep it. Fortunately, all seemed ok in the end.

We gave Peter (who is Nikolai and Nadia's son, as well as one of our drivers) a Carolina Panthers cap as well as an LED flashlight. We had to explain to him who the Panthers were (and after their drubbing by Arizona, I don't think we were at risk of him finding out who they were otherwise). We gave Sergei a Gerber all-in-one pair of pliers (you know, the Swiss army knife type of thing).

At about 3:45, we began loading the car, finally leaving at about 4:15. I was worried about making the train, but we were able to make it on board with about 5 minutes to spare. The only thing I had wanted to get but could not was a show of the Lugansk train station.

No matter. We got our bags put away, just in time to head off to Kyiv.

[Again, pictures will be added later.]

Catch Up Note: Arrival in Lugansk

2009-01-19T12:07:00.003-05:00

We crammed into 2 cars to go from Lutugino to Lugansk (Sergei, Nancy, Me, Ruslan, and Valik in Sergei's car; Peter, Colin, Claire, and Natasha in Peter's). We had arranged to meet the MacDonalds' at New York Pizza (in the basement of the Lugansk City Centre mall), a favorite of the MacDonalds, for dinner.

The boys started started out very talkative. They spoke to Sergei since he could understand. They were very excited, but still somewhat worried we were taking them to America to kill them (this came up once during the ride). It is terrible that this rumor goes around, but I have heard of it in several blogs I have read. But be real, if I were going to kill someone, I wouldn't spend $30K to do so.

They started to get more quiet, mainly because the road to Lugansk is very dark and there wasn't much to look at. They were fascinated by the graphics on Sergei's radio, so that provided some entertainment.

We eventually saw Peter's car ahead of us. So Valik started yelling "Natasha!" as loud as he could, as if she could hear us from 100 yards away, and with all the windows closed. Speaking of windows, they did like rolling the windows down, but were pretty good about rolling them up when we started moving.

We arrived at New York Pizza just in time to meet the MacDonalds. We ordered several pizzas and juice. They were very excited about that. They also enjoyed meeting all the MacDonald kids. They were relatively good during dinner, at least if we held them. Except that Valik has absolutely no fear of strangers and kept striking up conversations with people at other tables. Fortunately, he is very charming when he does this, so no one seemed to mind. Of course, we head it off as soon as possible too.

After about an hour, Valik was beginning to melt down, so we decided it was time to head out. Valik walked around the restaurant saying "Da svedaniya" to each table, and to those at the nearby store. he also swiped some (fortunately, complimentary) candy from a jar in a store, but the clerks said it was ok.

Colin and Claire went with the MacDonalds back to our flat, while Nancy, Ruslan, Valik, and I waited for Peter to drive us back. While we were waiting, the boys decided to ride the escalators over and over. That was fine, until Valik fell down on the up escalator. He fell down about 4 steps. Fortunately he was wrapped up so tight in his shirt, sweater, coat, hat, and scarf (think Randy "I can't put my arms down" from "A Christmas Story"), that he just rolled down, and there wasn't a scratch on him. Still it gave us all quite a scare for a moment. He just stood there catatonic for a minute, then snapped back, and rode again. I took one picture, but then was scolded by a security officer for taking a picture in their facility, so I put it away.

Then, all of a sudden, Ruslan starts jumping up and down, yelling "Pee-sit", so we had to find a bathroom ASAP. Ruslan, like most children never has to use the bathroom until it is suddenly an emergency. Since we were in a mall, we were able to get directions "Gdye tooalyet?" to a bathroom and all was well. Crisis averted.

Peter pulled up soon after and we rode back to the flat for the last time. We said our goodbyes to the MacDonalds, and discussed details of making on on-going contribution to the orphanage through them.

The boys were very impressed with the flat, and ran around excited for about 45 minutes. Then as a special welcome home treat, we put on the DVD of "How the Grinch Stole Christmas". You will recall we had read that to them on the second day at the orphanage. They remembered the story and enjoyed it immensely, even though they could not understand it.

[Ruslan has "read" this story to me several times. Actually, Ruslan can barely read. In this case, he just looks at the pictures and tells the story in a very dramatic voice about the "Gdintch". Its funny. i have no idea what he is saying, but every page has him saying "shoo-shoo-shoo" in a very sing-song voice.]

Then came the long negotiation of who sleeps with whom. We had not intended to do this though. We put the boys in the living room, with Valik on the sofa and Ruslan on two chairs pushed together. Well the boys were a couple of monkeys, and kept yakking and playing and pushing the chairs over to the sofa. Then they would come bounding out of the room with one excuse or another. We used to go through this with Colin and Claire a lot. The first few times, we are very nice about reminding them that it's bedtime. Each time they come out, it gets a little less pleasant in tone.

Finally, we decided to separate the two. Valik had been acting up, so we removed him from the room and put him in our bed. big mistake. I think Ruslan saw this as Valik being rewarded even though Valik had misbehaved. So Ruslan had a fit and started yelling. I have no idea what it was, but I don't think it is something you would say in church. After a bit of yelling, it just became loud complaining. Nancy went in to lie down with him and "shhh" him. He literally complained for 1 hour and 15 minutes (no kidding). Finally, he started sort of humming his complaint a bit softer until he fell asleep. Ruslan is a great kid, and usually pretty even-tempered. But he has a hair-trigger fuse. It seems random to me.

Eventually, after doing some blogging, I went in and slept with Valik. I decided I would get up early, so I could get in bed with Ruslan before he woke up so as to limit any further collateral damage.

Day 1 with the boys....

By the way, I still intend to add pictures to this and earlier blogs. However, that will have to be later. Each picture takes about a minute to format to smaller size (from 3MB to about 40KB for the web), so time is an issue. Sorry.

Pray for Patience...

2009-01-19T05:13:00.003-05:00

I'll catch up the blog soon, but must jump ahead somewhat. I have been unable to blog as I have had no free time at all since the boys came home. The few times I tried to get on the computer, they were all over it, so typing was not possible. I have a few minutes now.

In so many ways the boys are wonderful. They are happy, want to please, curious, and energetic. They care for us greatly. Early mornings are always great. I know, too, that adopting these particular boys was God's will.

However, they have so many bad habits, are unresponsive to our authority, and tend to have tantrums. Colin's comment about foul language is absolutely true. I'll elaborate later.

It is not all negative. Please don't take that away from what I am writing. We have fun, and it is great to watch their excitement at so many things.

But I do need your prayers for patience. I notice that they are beginning to respond better. Unfortunately, my fuse also has gotten shorter. I am getting irritated far sooner than I did the other day, and don't want my attitude to show to the boys or to take away the joy that we have in this process.

Boys are back. More later.

Holding

2009-01-19T04:29:00.002-05:00

Hi all,

I've discovered a new form of discipline that has been efective with Valik. It's called holding, and i read about this years ago when i was studying for my masters in special ed. Basically when a child is out of control, you take them to a chair and sit them on your lap and hold them until they quiet down. Now the first time I tried this, he fought me and yelled. But now after practicing this for a few days, it is amazing the positive results we've achieved. He quieted down immediately the last two times I tried this! Then we sit quietly for about 5 minutes and when he's done he rejoins the family and all is well. We don't speak each others language, so just quieting him has been real helpful. I'm trying to teach this technique to Nick, because he really knows how to push Nicks buttons. However, I don't have as many buttons to push right now. For example, I am not correcting bad table manners yet. I have more important lessons to teach before I get to that. I just have to remind myself that they are orphans who have picked up a lot of bad behaviors over the past few years.

When I hold Valik or Ruslan, I take that time to pray over them. I ask the Holy Spirit to send him peace and serenity. I also ask Him for our son to be obedient and learn English quickly. Stuff like that. You know, when it comes to bad behaviors, all the different techniques like ignoring, time out, holding, and all the others all have their proper place in child rearing. The trick is figuring out which is most effective. So as for me, right now, holding plus a lot of praise for good behavior works best.

love to all,

Nancy

In response to Colin

2009-01-19T03:55:00.002-05:00

Hi, Mom here.

Colin is wrong, they make eye contact with us all the time. They look down and don't want to make eye contact when we scold them. This is fairly common and doesn't alarm me.
The boys have been very excited living with us. Yes they pulled the cord out from the TV because they didn't know how to fix it or something. we have talked to them about this through the translator. personally, I just think Colin has n't forgiven them for disrupting the TV. I tend to agree more with Claire's assessment of the situation. Does Colin really expect small orphan boys to behave perfectly? I don't and never did. I have faith that the Lord will answer my prayers and soon they will be a great addition to our family.

WE'RE ALMOST DONE

2009-01-18T15:43:00.002-05:00

HI
Well we're just about finished here and I'm so excited! The boys (when they're not completely out of control) are very sweet. They do have some very wonderful qualities about them liked making theirs and helping with others beds in the morning, they always clean up after themselves, and they are wonderful at sharing. They enjoy spending time with us which is nice and are very quickly becoming a super addition to our family. I can't wait for everyone to meet them!
Love you guys,
claire

The first few days

2009-01-18T11:01:00.005-05:00

Wow...

I really mean it wow...
These boys are a real trouble. I knew this would be hard, but wow. They cuss (in Russian) all the time, hit, throw things at each other and us, disobey, run away, talk to strangers, broke the TV connection in our last flat (ripped the wire right out of the socket), can't even make eye contact, make loud annoying sounds (they are as I am typing this), have no table manners, and always complain. They laugh intensely at fart jokes and jokes of a much more crude nature.

But they can be angels though. I see them behave better when someone speaks to them in their language. Some things have no excuse but this should get easier as time goes on. They behaved really well when we watched Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer on DVD. It was late and I'm sure that played a part but still.

So I see hard times ahead but I also know this is about as hard as it will get. They will just have to be locked away from the room with my Wii for a few months.

Sorry for the delay!

2009-01-18T09:16:00.003-05:00

Hi all, we've got the boys from the orphanage and after much celebration and packing, we climbed into the train back to Kiev, only this time we needed two sleeper cars side by side.

Picking up the boys from the orphanage was like a scene from a movie. We brought them new clothing that we had bought at an open air bizarre and little suitcases too. The danced and swung their new clothing around as we showed them. Next they went back to their sleeping quarters and put everything on (and I mean everything, Ruslan returned with two turtlenecks plus a sweater, because I had sent two with him hoping he'd decide which one fit best.)

After gifts and flowers with the orphanage director we headed to their sleeping quarters and into a small delapidated classroom where we held a farewell party. I took pictures for the boys with their classmates who were all beautiful children. Before leaving to Ukraine my friend, Bob, warned me that whenever I go to the pet store I want to take all the cute animals home with me and that this would probably be worse. It was. If anyone is at all interested in adopting from here, they should hurry up and do it. These beautiful children all need a loving family.

After all the merriment, we returned to our flat in Lugansk. This was definately a riot. The boys ran around the flat saying "wow" about everything. Eventually, I went into my bedroom to change. There was a knock on the door and I turned to look and see Ruslan smiling at me. I motioned for him to close the door, and he did, only to return a second later. The door swung open with a loud "bang" and now both he and Valik were standing there amazed and smiling. I had to call for Nick to get them so I could finish dressing. Getting them to bed is a story matching this. To say the least, we finally got them to bed very late and everyone was exhausted, especially the parents. More soon.

Exactly one month since we left

2009-01-14T17:32:00.002-05:00

It is 12:35am on 1/15, which is 5:35pm on 1/14. That is exactly one month since our flight left Charlotte.

It has been an exciting, boring, busy, frustrating, eye-opening, happy, worrying, hopeful, prayerful, and altogether wonderful month. We have our boys. They are already showing great love and affection as well as challenging us and throwing tantrums.

In other words, they are boys.

We Say Our Goodbyes to Lutugino

2009-01-14T16:49:00.002-05:00

We got to the orphanage and had the boys called in. We had a new suitcase for each of them filled with a full set of new clothes. The boys were on cloud 9, spinning and squealing when they saw all the new stuff. They were so excited. I think they saw that the day to leave was finally here. I think their friends had been starting to wonder since we have been visiting for 4 weeks now.

We sent the boys off to change. Remember that they can't take any of their old clothes with them. Everything they had been wearing stays at the orphanage. While they were changing, we went in to see the director. We gave her an arrangement of orchids as well as a leather bound photo book. We had to sign about 10 final documents to get the boys paperwork complete there.

The director gave a wonderful speech to us about the children, her best and blessings and asked that we stay in touch. She said she could tell we were a good family and cared greatly for Colin and Claire as well as Ruslan and Valik by watching us interact. She then gave a gift to Nancy and me, one to Colin, and one to Claire. All had been made by children at the orphanage, so are very special to us. We got a candle in a nice festive arrangement. The candle is to represent a bright future for the children. She wants us to burn it one year from now to remember this day. To Claire she gave a small doll which she says has her (the director's) figure (It is round). She told Claire that as one of two females in a house with 4 boys, she would have a great responsibility. She gave Colin a Christmas tree as festive as his spirit.

We then gave her the gift to the orphanage. As is their custom, she did not open the card right away. But she got teary eyed and thanked us. She noted that their funding is always low, especially with the weak economy in Ukraine and especially in the local coal mining region. In addition, her budget is broken into different categories. She cannot use money from one category to spend in a different category. (In the Air Force, we used to call this different colors of money. For instance, we could not spend development money on travel, or travel money on operations. She has the same problem). She said she does not have enough money for sports equipment or games, so this gift would be a great help.

We also offered to make a small on-going donation on a monthly basis. She got very choked up about that offer. The monetary gift is welcome, but also expected. This was not. We told her that sending it directly was not a good option as we would not get a tax deduction for it (since they are not a US charity), so we could only send about 1/2 as much. Instead, we offered to send it through support to Bruce MacDonald's mission. We get the deduction, so can send more. Also, he has been trying to establish a relationship with the orphanage, but has been unable as he is Baptist and they are Orthodox. Hopefully, this will enable them to get to know and trust him so he can do even more with them.

After this, we took pictures with the boys and the director, and got our stuff together for the going-away party.

We brought cake, juice boxes, tangerines, and gifts to a classroom where Ruslan's group, Valik's group, and their supervisors were assembled. We had to keep it short as it was almost 5pm when we started. We passed out cake, juice, and tangerines to each child. This was also the only time we could take pictures of the other children, so we took a lot. Nancy took a picture of Valik with each child in his group (individually), and did the same with Ruslan's group.

Each child recited a poem for the boys.

Then we got the presents out. Originally, we were going to get each child a stuffed animal, but the director suggested we get a game for each group instead as it was a greater need. We found some good ones at the open air market this morning.

We got each group a game of "Tuectep" (Twister). We also got each group a small race track and cars (sort of like Hot Wheels).

Unfortunately due to the late hour, we had to cut it short. We got the boys and marched them out and received many blessings and well-wishes from the supervisors.

We buckled the boys into the car. They weren't too happy about that. Valik sat in Nancy's lap with a long buckle around. Then we drove off from Lutugino for the last time. The boys were ecstatic. As we drove past the orphanage, they kept saying "Bye-bye" over and over. I don't think they were the least bit sad.

I'll finish the story and add pictures later.

A Whirlwind of Activity

2009-01-14T16:39:00.004-05:00

Today has been non-stop action. In fact, it is not over yet.

Natasha went to Lutugino to work on the passport issue. She was able to secure us the old form passport. That was a big deal. The old form is processed in one day. The new form of passport (which is being phased in) takes 10 days to process if expedited. We were lucky to be in a district that still has a few old form passports.

While she worked on that, Nancy and I went with Sergei (our driver) to an open air market to get some last minute items for the boys. We bought a couple of sweaters and socks. We also found a CD of children's songs that the boys would know, 2 small suitcases, and toys for their class for their going away party.

Natasha called as she needed more signatures from me for the passport. She drove from Lutugino back to Lugansk to meet me and get the signatures, then returned to Lutugino (about 1 1/2 hour round trip).

I got a really good pork gyro sort of thing. Very messy and very good. Nancy got a pork kabob.

Afterward, we went to a bakery to get some cakes for the party. It was in the basement of an apartment block behind an unmarked door. We got two large, very nicely-decorated cakes for 130 hryvnia (or about $15).

I went home to clean the flat, to finish packing the boys things, to get the gifts for the ladies at the orphanage, and to get our monetary gift for the orphanage ($1000, $500 for each boy). Meanwhile, Nancy went to get some flowers and a photo album for the orphanage director.

Finally, we scrambled off to see the boys at 3:30.

Hurry Up and Wait

2009-01-14T16:07:00.002-05:00

Monday we sat on our hands all morning. Natasha worked with the court to get final paperwork done to take the boys. We had hoped to visit the boys in the afternoon. But we got a call in the afternoon from Natasha of a new problem.

Supposedly, the boys were not properly registered at the orphanage, at least according to one office in Lutugino. So as far as this one office was concerned, the boys had lived on the street for 3 years.

Obviously, this was not the case. I am not sure whether there was missing paperwork, or an error in this office or what. But it added another day to the process.

We scrambled around from about 11am until 5pm from one office to another signing documents, waiting for documents, and signing others. Finally, at 5pm, we got to see the boys for just a minute. We told them we were working on documents and would be able to get them either tomorrow (Tuesday) or the next day (Wednesday).

Tuesday was the real mad dash. We got up early so we could get to the birth certificate office as soon as it opened at 8am. We got there a couple of minutes late and were behind several babushkas. As more came, they got ahead of us. They were not cutting in line. It turns out the office that does birth certificates also certifies death certificates. The death certificate is required for burial, so they get priority.

We finally got in after 1 1/2 hours. After half hour we left as they needed some documents notarized. Then we went to work on the woman who does passports. Back and forth all day from the birth certificate office to the notary to the passport office.

Finally, the day was over and we headed home. We never got to see the boys, but found that we should be able to get them on Wednesday.

We get the boys today (finally) !!!

2009-01-14T06:59:00.000-05:00

Just a quick note as we have to leave for the orphanage soon (I'll fill in more later, and Darla and Paul I owe you a note as well, and will try to do so this evening if possible).

We are leaving for the orphanage at 3pm. We will have a party with their friends and then pick up Valik and Ruslan. Afterward, we are going for pizza with the MacDonalds.

Tomorrow, we leave for Kiev. More soon.

Another crazy day

2009-01-13T12:26:00.002-05:00

Well, now I'm a parent without children. I legally have custody of Valik and Ruslan but am not allowed to take them with me until I finish more paper work. Have mercy! We finally finished the paperwork this evening except for the passport. More on that later. The good news is we plan on having a party at the orphanage and then leave with our sons tomorrow around 3! and if our passport plans works correctly, then we plan on leaving beautiful Lugansk for Kiev on Thursday. Wow!

Okay, there are two types of passports we can get for the boys to take them home. One passport (the newest and most common) is already paid for and takes as much as 10 working days to receive. The other costs extra but we can get it right away. Can you guess which one we are getting? I'll bet you can.

We are looking forward to returning to Kiev. Even if we could return home immediately, we still want to extend our stay long enough to sight see a little. We didn't get to site see during our first trip to Kiev, so we don't want to leave without some of the culture. I want to see a Cossack dance!

Waiting and praying for pick up

2009-01-12T07:29:00.002-05:00

Hi,

Well, we might have another delay on the pick up time. It all depends on the director and what she will do. Tomorrow is when the office for reissuing birth certificates is open and we need that to officially get the boys. I can't wait to bring them here with us! I want to see their shining faces when they enter our flat and see all the clothing we have for them. "Wow!" is what I'm sure they'll say. But if we must wait, then God is in control for a reason.
Nancy

Clothes shopping at a sub-freezing open air market

2009-01-11T17:40:00.005-05:00

Peter (Nikolai and Nadia's son) took Nancy and me clothes shopping this morning (Sunday 01/11). We needed to get clothes for the boys since they must leave all their existing clothes with the orphanage. We hadn't realized that until shortly before Natasha left last week. We thought they owned the clothes they wore, and perhaps a few toys. But Natasha said the clothes are from a common supply at the orphanage and would be needed there. It is quite possible that they boys own literally nothing other than the toys we have given them.

Nancy got a tape measure last week and did her best to measure the boys. Of course, they are so squirmy that is not an easy task. But (we hope) she got some decent measurements; at least good enough to get clothes to last them until we get back to Charlotte.

The open air market was outside (of course) in an enclosed area. So at least there was no wind to contend with. But the dark closed area acts like a refrigerator. We were able to be there for about an hour before Nancy's fingers started hurting and we had to leave.

There were lots of women's clothes, boots (of course), men's sweaters, and coats. Prices were good although we now here there was a better one a couple of blocks away. Bartering is possible, but it was so cold we only did a little bit.

After we had to leave there, we went to a kids' store called CKA3A (Skazah), or something like that. No bartering in the store of course. They had a pretty good selection. Prices were higher though. But the prices on boots were much higher.

We scrambled back to a toy store in the Lugansk City Centre (a mall) and got some cheapo snow boots (about $15) Nancy had seen. We don't need them in Charlotte, so saw no value in paying more. They only need to last 2-3 weeks. The next price level up was $50.

We bought 110 size (5 year old) for our 7 year old Valik), and 122 size (7 year old) for our 10 year old (in 2 weeks) Ruslan. We have not yet tried them on the boys, but they look about right if not too big.

In all we spent about $280 for a full set of clothes for both boys. I'll list them for educational purposes. For each boy:
- 2 pairs pants
- 4 pairs underwear
- 2 pairs tights (boys wear tights here. I guess that's why so many boys are willing to take ballet)
- 2 turtlenecks
- 1 sweater
- 1 pair gloves
- 1 heavy coat
- 1 stocking hat
- 1 scarf
- 1 pair pajamas
- 1 pair snow boots

Not bad for the price. We still have to get socks and toothbrushes, but we are just about set.

I started feeling worse, and so bowed out of going to church. Bruce took Nancy and the kids to a 3pm Baptist service at a dance studio in Lutugino. As I mentioned before, if you are not Orthodox, it is hard to get space for a church.

My temp only got up to 99.4, but my normal temp is 96.8, so it was high for me (no . Mostly upset stomach and bodyaches. Feeling better today though only at about 85%.

Natasha returns from Kyiv tomorrow. We begin the paperwork process to get the boys (either Monday or Tuesday). I think we can Monday, but we will be running around a lot, so need to discuss with Natasha. We are also thinking of throwing a little party for the boys classmates, but not sure yet.

Discipline steps up as we prepare to get the boys

2009-01-11T16:56:00.008-05:00

We had several adventures with the boys (as Nancy mentioned earlier) on Friday (01/09) and Saturday (01/10). We had Gabby (as well as Colin and Claire) with us both days to help with translation.

We are slowly (too slowly?) ramping up our discipline with the boys as we prepare to bring the, home with us. We don't want to do too much too quickly as we think it (the change in our response to them) will confuse them. But it is becoming more and more clear that we need to be more strict. This began in earnest on Friday.

Early in the visit Friday went well. The boys asked if I was better (having been home sick on Thursday) and asked if I had gone to the hospital. We had a good time playing games, especially perennial favorites "Stop - Go" and "Hide and Seek".

Ruslan brought his car in because it wasn't working. It turns out that the battery pack had been removed. He didn't know where it was. At first we thought that some other kid may have taken it, perhaps being jealous of the car or of Ruslan being adopted. That is still possible, but Natasha (when we spoke to her on the phone) suggested that a supervisor may have taken the batteries if Ruslan was making too much noise with the car (a distinct possibility. That toy is loud). No answer to that mystery yet.

Valik also brought his, and we set it up on the one outlet in the room to charge the battery as it was very low.

I had Ruslan teach me some Russian words and I told him the English equivalents. He definitely shows more interest in that than Valik. I think Valik's attention span is too short for that right now.

While I was doing that, Nancy was working with Valik on the 24 piece puzzle. That was the first time Valik did that. He apparently needed some help, but did pretty well. Valik came running out to the stairwell where Ruslan and I were talking. He was very proud and pulled me in to show me that he had completed the puzzle. I think Ruslan began to get jealous (he had done the puzzle the other day). He began saying that Valik must have had help and he couldn't do it by himself. Clearly, he was getting jealous of the attention Valik got (though we had praised Ruslan before when he did the puzzle).

After that, we played Candyland. Both boys like to deal cards to us now, even more than they like to play. We did "one potato, two potato" to choose who would deal. Valik won. Ruslan took a playing piece, but did not want to play. He just laid on the floor, but didn't seem too upset. Just like we have begun to do with Valik on several occasions, we let him know he is welcome to play, but ignored him as he lay there.

He got up to watch after a while, and saw me get 2 face cards in a row (Jolly and Princess Lolly for aficionados of the game). He began a big speech where he clearly was accusing Valik of cheating (both boys have stacked the deck before, but that was not the case this time). Ruslan would hear none of it.

He started yelling at Valik and said he was leaving. He put on his clothes. We told him we would like to play with him tomorrow if he behaves. He walked by Valik's car, and knocked it to the ground, breaking the cable for the charger in the process. We should have stopped him right then, but didn't. I said "Da svedaniya". I thought he said "Da svedaniya, papa" as he slammed the door. But Gabby told us he said, "Da svedaniya, cacatchka", meaning "Goodbye turds".

She had pointed out earlier that the boys were saying some mildly naughty words like that, as well as stupid and such. We also heard from Gabby that Ruslan told Valik we are only taking him (Valik) to America to kill him. It is a horrible thing to say. But I also know it is a rumor that goes around in the orphanages. The kids (and I have heard supervisors on some other blogs) say that people are adopting kids so they can sell their organs.

I guess it is jealousy that does that. We assured Valik that we love him and Ruslan and are going to take good care of him until he is all grown up. He got kind of quiet. It's just a matter of time of course, but we have to build trust with them.

We resolved to deal with that on Saturday.

In the meantime, Valik was enjoying his brother getting in trouble, I think. He really brightened up. Bruce called Gabby around then and Valik commandeered the phone (but see Nancy's earlier post "Trading Places" for that). But he was really well behaved after that.

After the visit, we resolved to get more firm with both boys and give them a good talking to, and to be a little intimidating as we did so, in the future. I hate to sound wimpy in all this, but when you are caught off-guard and can't communicate one-on-one being a strict disciplinarian is hard. Nancy and I agree though that I need to be the bad cop as that fits their cultural expectations better.

After we left, we went to the MacDonald's house to watch a movie. They have a projector for their computer so we were able to watch a 7ft diagonal movie. We saw "Flywheel", a film about a used car salesman made by a church in Georgia for $20,000. This was the same group that later made "Facing the Giants" and "Fireproof". Production values were not what you would normally expect, but for a $20,000 film were amazing. The acting (with the exception of the wife who was not very good) was at least as good as most TV sitcoms and several were much better. Also, the plot had several unexpected twists and turns. Really a pretty good film and quite enjoyable.

We borrowed "The Last Starfighter" from them and left them with "How the Grinch Stole Christmas" which they had not seen before(!!!)

We returned to see the boys on Saturday (1/10). We took Gabby with us and decided to see Ruslan first. Not as a reward for his bad behavior but to give him some special time and also to have a talk to him about his behavior. then we would send Ruslan off and play with Valik.

Ruslan came in all happy and we played with him for a while. He likes to wear my watch (and is very good about returning it, thankfully). We played Stop - Go. I also pulled out a really good Russian to English book that Disney put together. It shows a little cartoon picture with an English word, the pronunciation of the English word if it were written in Cyrillic letters, the Russian equivalent of the word and a sentence. It is quite good, and kept Ruslan's attention pretty well.

Ruslan liked the attention and burst into all his gymnastic feats. He likes to show off.

We also gave him a little Matchbox car to play with. He had fun with that for a few minutes, and then ran off to get Valik so he could have his as well. We tried to explain to him that we were going to play with Valik later, but he dashed off. In a way, it was nice that he wanted to share with his brother, but we were not happy that he didn't obey.

He came back 5 minutes later, and we gave him his lecture. I stood towering over him and told him that we love him, BUT, we were not happy with his behavior. he was being disrespectful and disobedient. He must listen to what we say and obey immediately. Our job is to keep him safe and we can't do that if he doesn't obey. He smirked a bit, but was also chastened. I made him look me in the eye. He didn't take it perfectly, but after that his behavior was pretty good, so I think it was effective. There will be a lot more of this. Probably every day for a while as we establish authority.

Valik showed up and we played more of the same. We played with the little cars, and Hide and Seek. We showed the language book to Valik. He was somewhat interested, but it didn't keep his attention for as long.

We also showed the boys how to juggle. They were marginally interested, but mainly wanted to play catch. After a few minutes, the director's assistant came up and told us we would have to play outside as the boys were too loud.

We got a sled and dragged the boys around for a bit. But after about 20 minutes it was too cold for the boys and we went back in, promising to stay quiet.

Both boys did the puzzle and we cheered for both. They are improving in their puzzle skills.

I carried Valik around on my shoulders and asked him various words. I asked him the word for cat. At first he said kohshka (the correct word). Then he tried to trick me by saying kakatchka (or something like that) which means turd. He thought I wouldn't know. I told him right out that those words are not allowed. He giggled and kept starting the first syllable. I caught him again and pulled him off my shoulders. And set him down on the sofa. He tried to get out, but I put him back. I gave him a lecture on bad words.

He stood up and pulled on his coat and stormed out. We decided to let him leave. After about 30 seconds, he came back and behaved well the rest of the visit.

So, as you can see, we are slowly ramping up the discipline. It is still less than they need, and less than we normally would do. But the amount they need would be too sudden a change.

And we are beginning to see the results. I think it will work. Their behavior is beginning to improve.

Now who would have thought you could find truth in "Pravda"?

2009-01-11T16:43:00.003-05:00

Students of the Cold War will recall that "Pravda" (the Russian word for "truth") was the official mouthpiece of the Communist Party in the USSR. The newspaper is still around and still presents the news from the Russian point of view.

I was poking around on their website (www.english.pravda.ru) tonight. Amidst the articles on why Russia's power is ascending, why US power is in decline, and why Ukraine is nuts I found this article: "Why God Didn't Have a Beginning?".

Students of apologetics will recognize this argument, but some of you may not have seen this before. But most interesting of all was finding it in the pages of Pravda.

There is some truth after all....

Orthodox Christmas and a day to relax

2009-01-11T09:52:00.005-05:00

Wednesday, 01/07 was Orthodox Christmas. The orphanage was closed for business that iday (o.e., no visitors) so we stayed home. Originally we intended to go to an Orthodox service, but quite honestly, we just vegged out that day. We also were still trying to warm up from our walk home in sub-zero weather the night before. We watched lots of "24" (wrapped up Season 4) and "Mystery Science Theater 3000". We also saw bits of various kids movies in Russian, like "Ratatouille". And for a real treat saw "Blue Lagoon". You know Brooke Shields seems a lot more intelligent in that movie when you can't understand what she says. Not much else to say.

(Hi, Nancy here, and I'd just like to state for the record that I turned off Blue Lagoon as the two young teens awakened to their sexuality! I know it is a best selling book and all but Hollywood over glamorizes this stuff and I turn it off.)

On Thursday, 01/08, I stayed home as I was sick. Not real bad off, but enough that I was worried I would get worse. Just a simple head cold. Got over it soon enough. I spent the day trying to format pictures and post on the blog. Got to catch up soon....

Christmas Pageants

2009-01-11T09:47:00.005-05:00

On Monday and Tuesday (1/5 and 1/6), we got help from two of the MacDonald kids. Gabby (16) helped out on Monday, followed by Ben (17) on Tuesday. Both are really nice and were very helpful to us. Both are planning on joining the Army after they finish high school. And let's face it, without MacDonald kids in the Army, the US fighting forces would be down by about 25%.

On Monday we started playing with Ruslan and Valik. But after a few minutes, Ruslan heard music downstairs and pulled me down with him. There was yet another Christmas pageant. This time, it was for the middle schoolers. But they also were wearing costumes (including pig, Batman, and chicken) just like the kids. Ruslan can not resist watching a performance, so we watched that one while he sat on my lap.

After that, we went back upstairs. We played more Hide and Seek and had Ruslan put together a 24 piece puzzle of a cat and mouse. He is slowly getting better on puzzles, but is just starting to figure them out.''Nancy, Colin, and Claire played with Valik most of the time, while I played with Ruslan (though we both played with each of them of course).

Ruslan was very affectionate today and wanted to hide with me while we played Hide and Seek.

On Tuesday, we returned with Ben to help out. Ruslan was first again as Valik was having a nap. He arrived after about 1/2 hour looking very dazed. We thought at first it was because he had just woke up. However, I think he was a little bit sick. He was very cranky and unenergetic the whole day. His eyes were a bit glassy too, but he had no fever, fortunately.

We were playing with the boys, when Ruslan suddenly said something and dashed off. He was supposed to be in a Christmas pageant. He returned a few minutes later in pink tights and pig costume. We took Valik downstairs to watch the Christmas Eve pageant.

This one was very long (almost 2 hours). it started off interesting as they were showing traditional Ukrainian dinner celebration and recognition of the icons.

After that though, it was a procession of every kid there (about 60) reciting one at a time. This was too long for me, and the kids were getting squirmy as they wanted the candy that was coming at the end. They straightened up though when the regional director arrived.

Valik had a tough time though. His group wasn't in the pageant, he was bored, and not feeling well. he kept trying to sneak out, but the hall monitor (a little girl about 9) kept barring the door, at least when he got past me. We consoled him as well as possible.

After the show we headed out. We decided to go out for dinner and went to Cem's Ctek Xayc (Sam's Steak House). Sergey dropped us off at about 5:30. There were only 4 other people there (in a restaurant that seats about 150). Billboard picture below.

I got a rib-eye, Claire got her beloved chicken caesar salad, and Nancy and Colin got a burger and fries. The food was good. Not amazing, but quite good. And the whole thing came to about $55 so we can't complain.

On the way out, I spoke to the coat check guy who spoke English well. I noted that we were very early for dinner and it was Christmas Eve, so I assumed that's why it was so empty. He said, no they get a good lunch crowd, but at night only get a few people after 9pm mostly. Business seemed pretty bad to me. The place is very big.

He had stayed in Kentucky for about 8 months. He also lived in Adelaide, Australia for about a year. Turns out he is a veterinarian and likes working with horses. We asked if he was going back to US anytime. He looked wistful and said he would like to, but cannot get licensed in the US unless he goes to vet school all over again. He said US only accepts college credits from UK and Australia. Seems dumb to me. I felt bad and apologized on behalf of US for the bureaucracy.

We went to a very nice toy store next to the restaurant. I found a few very nice books for the kids and most important of all - a deck of cards! They are hard to find in Ukraine.

After that, we bundled up for a 1 1/2 mile walk home. As we were driving back to Lugansk, the temperature was -7 F, but warmed up to about 5 F in the city. But it cooled off while we were at the restaurant to about -2 F (with a windchill of about -8 F).

We ducked in to a store about every 1/4 mile and were able to make it home, but it was getting painful. The odd thing was that Nancy was fine. Usually she gets in serious pain before I even get chilled. So we were glad that worked out.

Another Mystery Science Theater 3000 ("Werewolf") ended the day.

Christmas Service at local Church

2009-01-11T08:33:00.008-05:00

On Sunday (1/4), Bruce picked us up to take us to church in Lutugino (about 1 1/4 hour round trip so it is much appreciated). The church is actually about 5 miles out of Lutugino in a smaller town still (but I don't recall the name). The church was an evangelical church (I think it is not aligned with any denomination) run by Pastor Roman (Roh - mahn'). I don't recall his last name. We met him briefly at Bruce's the previous Friday.

We had to stop at Bruce's house on the way to get his generator as the power had gone out in the local area (which apparently is fairly common). The church is in a small building about the size of a store. The church bought it a couple of years ago for about $5000. With some improvements they have made (and an increase in real estate prices), it is worth about $20,000. The neat thing about that to me is that a small amount of money can make a huge difference here.

It is especially hard (so I am told) for non-Orthodox churches to be established. Getting zoning approvals is difficult, supposedly due to Orthodox church complaints. But if you own the building already, it is easier to get approvals.

The church has about 85 or 90 members and seems to be full each week. Many of the members are at a rehabilitation center (for alcohol) that the church supports. Bruce told us there were several thieves and murderers there, but had all been changed as they gave their life to the Lord. The age range was well balanced between young families with children and babushkas and dyedushkas. The service was similar in many ways to an evangelical service in the South, but longer. A typical service is about 2 hours. This one was longer as the children did their Christmas presentations (recall that in Ukraine, they celebrate Christmas on 01/07).

Pastor Roman introduced our family and told them we were adopting 2 boys. The entire church prayed for us very vocally. It was really great.

We also got to hear a service we understood by chance. The service was in Russian (though Bruce translated for us). There was a visiting pastor (Terry Burns of Burns Mission) from Kyiv who gave the sermon (in English, then translated into Russian). He was Canadian, but we could understand him once we deleted all the "eh"s he said. Terry runs the mission at the link above, but also teaches 8th grade literature at the US - Canadian State Department School in Kyiv. Mom, I think you were looking into these for a while as I recall. Apparently the school is filled with kids of ambassadors (US and CN), military liaisons (US and CN), and wealthy Ukrainians. Terry and his wife are very nice and have invited us to dinner when we return to Kyiv.

The children's presentation was cute and has some very pretty little girls. As I understand it, in Ukraine, kids always have to recite some poem during Christmas, and then they get their gift. Here are some pictures of the kids (not ours. We can't take them anywhere yet).

After church, we decided to go to Bruce's for lunch and again ended up staying there for about 6 or 7 hours. Pastor Roman and Terry Burns and his wife were there as well. The kids enjoy visiting there as they like Bruce and Pia's kids (Claire really hit it off with Gabby, and Colin enjoys showing the boys all his favorite websites, like Legendary Frog).

Yet more catch-up (1/2 - 1/3)

2009-01-11T07:53:00.007-05:00

Was feeling better yesterday (1/10), but feeling odd again today. So while everyone else is at church today (for a 3pm service), I am staying home.

Unfortunately, the days are starting to run together a bit, but I'll do my best to keep them straight.

We went back to the orphanage on Friday of course. We are now in our 10 day waiting period (which is 12 days since the 10 days ends on a Saturday). This was our first visit without Natasha there to translate for us. It was a bit of a struggle, but we got through it.

The women at the orphanage know what to do when we see them, so that is no problem. The boys were happy to see us. Valik thought his car was broken, but he just didn't understand how to charge the batteries. I saved the day on that one.

We got a 24 piece puzzle (with large pieces) for the boys to practice their puzzles. Valik was not interested, but Ruslan was happy to try it. He needed a little help (he still doesn't understand the concept of edge pieces), but he got it. He was pretty proud about that.

We played more of the same games in the same room. While they are fun, they are getting a little old to us. There are, after all, only about 6 hiding places in that big room, and they are all well known. Still, the boys like it (hide and seek is still their favorite) and so we have fun with them.

I bought several books for the boys a couple of days ago, but we decided to hold those for the train.

We are now in the slowly phasing in discipline and slowly phasing out presents part. But we see this as a couple month process really.

We also decided to only visit the boys for a couple of hours a day to try to keep them fresh and to minimize any problems. We also try to visit the boys separately when possible to keep the sibling rivalry down.

After a couple of hours, we went to visit the MacDonalds. We had heard of them from some friends and met them briefly on Christmas Day. But this was our first chance to spend any time with them.

They are (most recently) from Chattanooga, TN. They have been here for almost 4 years as missionaries (On Point for Christ) supported by several churches in their area. Bruce retired from the Army after 30 years as a Russian linguist then a recruiter. He and his wife Pia have 12 kids. 5 are in the Army with all in, or soon to be in, Iraq or Afghanistan. Their other 7 live in Lutugino and range from 17 to 1 1/2.

They bought an (unfinished) house for about $8500 a few years ago. There are lots of unfinished houses in the area that had been started in the 1990s (I think) when the economy was better. When the economy fell, the houses were abandoned and mostly sit empty though the ones in their area seem to be used. But there are hundreds of very large and nice houses in Lugansk that have been empty for years. They have done pretty well on that one since then though and are just finishing up the last room inside.

We ended up staying there for about 5 or 6 hours (and so did not return to the orphanage as we had planned). They have a tough mission here but are making some headway in town. It is difficult to make inroads as most in the area are Orthodox or atheist (or simply not interested). However, there are a couple of churches in the area that have welcomed their assistance. They also work in the summer with visiting teams and assist with a Christian camp. They also help raise money for local hospitals and schools and run eyeglass clinics for locals which are very well received. From the comments of others I have heard as well as their relationship with the mayor of Lutugino, I think they are making good headway.

They certainly are doing a good job with their kids. All are intelligent, polite, and well-behaved. We had a great visit and intend to go to church with them on Sunday.

Saturday (1/3), I saw lots of babushkas outside our front door. I thought they were here to yell at us for Colin and Claire not buttoning their coats all the way. But as it turns out there was a funeral right outside our front door. A woman on the first floor of our building had died we found out. The tradition here is to have an open casket service outside the home of the deceased, then process to the graveyard. As Nancy mentioned earlier, the funerals often involve lots of drinking as with all the atheism in the country, they don't have a lot of hope for the deceased or for themselves.

We weren't sure of the proper etiquette, but did not think it would be appropriate to walk right by the casket while services were going on, so we waited. But I did take a few surreptitious photos from our window. So at the risk of being crass, I will post those. I hope this doesn't bother anyone.

Trading Places

2009-01-10T02:15:00.002-05:00

Hi

Let me start off by saying I am sick and tired of wearing the same clothes over and over......and over. I have three pairs of pants and 3 turtlenecks and a cardigan and a coat. One time I got creative and chose my black turtlneck plus my black pants. Underground revolution, Paris coffee house here I come. Of course, Nick has no problems with this because he wears the same clothes everyday anyways.

Yesterday we visited the boys and they traded places. Ruslan acted up while Valik tried to behave. Unfortunately the boys have a case of sibling rivalry as we shower them with attention. Well, I picked Valik to hold the cards while we played Candyland and that pushed Ruslan over the top. He gathered his things and left. Oh, and according to our translator, Gabby Macdonald, he refered to us as "turds" when he left. Today when we visit, we plan on seeing Ruslan first and before Valik arrives, Nick plans on giving him a stern talking to about his behavior. But right now that is about as much discipline we can muster. Language barriers and restricted visitation doesn't help the situation.

On a lighter note, Bruce Macdonald called Gabby and Valik picked up the phone and starting talking to him. He spent the whole time tattling about Ruslans behavior to Bruce. Evidently he said "you must come over here and give him consequences. Everyone here loves him, Momma, Poppa, Colin and Claire" Then Gabby said something and Valik said "shhh I'm talking on the phone." Valik's socks didn't fit him yesterday, but he didn't notice. He ran around with them flopping with each step. Very funny.

It's snowing again, only this time it is the tiny flakes, not the big fluffy ones I love.

Nancy

Dear Mr.Eppley

2009-01-09T15:20:00.002-05:00

Dear Mr.Eppley,

Please stop trying to protest Global Warming. In fact encourage it. It's cold.

Sincerely,

Claire

Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

2009-01-09T15:14:00.003-05:00

It's cold here. Right now it's -9 C with a wind chill of -19 C. That's right. Its cold.

HI!!!

2009-01-08T10:45:00.004-05:00

Today was fun. We played all our usual games with the boys except this time we also played like Tag but we put a blindfold on the person who was it and that probably wasn't the greatest idea we ever had. It got kind of violent...as usual. But they're still really cute and they're going to come stay with us hopefully on Monday and I'm really excited about that and we are probably going back to Kiev around Thursday. We also have to buy all of their clothes because they can't bring anything when they leave the orphanage they literally give us naked children and its really hard to shop for them cause they are absolutely the tiniest little boys so we are buying clothes for like a five and six year olds instead of seven and ten year olds. Well, I'll see you guys soon.

Waiting

2009-01-08T10:26:00.002-05:00

The title just about sums it up. We go to the orphanage just about every day. Valik and Rouslan provide some entertainment. Unfortunately we are just playing the same games over and over. We can't think of anyplace else to hide for Hide & Go Seek. They cheat. We play Red Light Green Light, but they haven't gotten the concept that you can only send someone back to the begining if they move. Oh, and they cheat. We got them a remote control car. They always let us see the cars, and the batteries are always dead. It's good to see that they enjoy it but we just have nothing to do. And we play London Bridge is Falling Down. They cheat.

The Ukrainian Christmas was yesterday. That's the Orthodox day We got a firework at one of the stores. One good thing about this place is no firework restrictions. We still need to launch it.

We're pretty bored...

Catching up (12/31 - 1/1)

2009-01-08T07:35:00.017-05:00

Sorry, I did it again. Slow internet bad for a few days, but better now. Beyond that, my time has been spent visiting the boys, visiting our friends in Lutugino, and watching a couple of movies (which ties up the computer until I am too tired to write).

For the past few nights, we have been watching season 4 of "24". I also have season 5 on the computer (iTunes) so we'll start that soon. We also have watched a few episodes of "Mystery Science Theater 3000" and "John Adams". Honestly, there is not a lot to do in Lugansk, especially when it is so cold as it is now.

But I am home sick today. Just a little bit, but wanted to take the day off to be sure I can recuperate properly and not pass anything around. So I'm sitting here listening to The Blenders' (an a capella group from North Dakota) and Brian Setzer's (the lead guitar and singer from the Stray Cats) Christmas albums. Meanwhile, Nancy, Colin, and Claire are in Lutugino with the boys.

Before I forget, I had a special request on how to pronounce their names.

Ruslan (Руслан) is pronounced (Roose' - lahn)

Valentin (Валентин) is pronounced (Vahl' - en - teen)
The diminutuve Valik (short for Valentin) is pronounced (Vahl' - ik).

So I guess we start with New Year's Eve. I posted one on the 3rd, but it really only went through New Year's Eve since I had internet problems.

Of course, you know we had our court hearing. Here is a shot (a bit overexposed) of the kids right after the hearing. We gave them each a box of candy that seems to be traditional around here. They were all over the place. Valik was very good about sharing his candy with all who were around. That was great to see.

As Nancy mentioned earlier, we gave each boy his big gift for New Year's Eve (their traditional gift-giving day). Once we were out of court, the boys immediately asked about their "machina" (Russian for "car"). Ruslan had asked for a specific car he saw in the toy store. However, when we went back to check it out, we thought the dancing truck was way cooler. It has music, flashing lights, pops wheelies, and has better control over movement. We decided he would like that one better, and gave it with our fingers crossed he didn't have his heart set on the other one.

No worries. He totally forgot about the one he asked for and was all over the truck, as was Valik.

You can see the kids ignoring us completely as they played with the cars non-stop. It was the one day it was not difficult to take pictures. Finally something more interesting than the camera.

They even managed to break several pieces before the afternoon was up. But those pieces are just cosmetic, so no problem. All the other kids around watched as well, and got to play a little bit. A fun day.

My reward was to have Ruslan jump up on my shoulders and totally mess my hair up (just like Colin and Claire used to do).

Natasha left on New Year's Eve to take an overnight back to Kyiv to visit her family for the holidays and her mother's 60th birthday. Being the exciting people we are, and having been warned of high incidence of drunks on New Year's Eve, we stayed home and watched several episodes of "24". We did get to see lots of fireworks as nancy mentioned.

The next day (New Year's) we layed low during the day. We were also told it was best not to get on the road on New Year's Day as many are still continuing their evening celebration throughout the next day. There are lots of American movies on local TV, but of course they are dubbed in Russian. Mainly we put on a marathon of the Ukrainian version of "So You Think You Can Dance" (I think it's called "Dance, Everyone").

In the afternoon, we had a bit too much cabin fever and so wandered downtown to the main square where there was a huge Christmas tree, recorded music, and of course Spongebob Squarepants. I wanted to explore that part of town more, but as the sun went down (about 3:45pm), the temperature dropped to about 5 degrees (F).

We ducked in to a pizza place (Mario's) for European pizza and all the second-hand smoke we could eat. Really the smoke was extremely thick. The no-smoking law here is in place, but not quite yet enforced. Since they had no English menu, we struggled through in Russian and came reasonably close to what we wanted, ham and mushroom. The one word we didn't catch was raw egg dumped in the middle. Still, it was pretty good, and that + 3 cokes and 1 black tea came to about $8, so you can't complain.

The trip back (about 1.5 mile) was challenging in the cold. Fortunately, there were a handful of stores open, so we could duck in every 1/3 mile or so and ward off the frostbite. A few more episodes of "24"wrapped up the day.

hey there

2009-01-06T06:52:00.002-05:00

Hey guys well i guess y'all are super excited to be at school again!!!! Well if your just reading my blogs than sorry i know i've only posted like five since we got here but since Christmas, which was the last time I blogged, we have officially got the boys and they're adorable, of course, and we named them Robert ( no not after Robert Pattinson, after my granfdfather) and tom, my other grandfather. Valik is so cute and he's totally adorable but i was so sad yesterday cause, well he's extremely active and i had to chase him around like the entire orphanage yesterday and on our third trip down the stairs he fell and slid down like half of them face first and there were all these people standing around stairing at me and I don't know how to say "He fell i swear i didn't push him down the stairs" in russian so I'm just standing there and he's rolled up in the fetal position in tehe corner of the room and i'm like "He fell..." yaaaa but he was okay. And if Alex is still reading these umm sorry my parents never told me that you emailed me and they're the ones that check the email so it just found it today. Thanks for emailing me though and telling me that Jamie has my stuff I was kinda worried about that and if she's not reading these could someone please tell her that and that i hope she's having fun in Bible and math without me HAHA. Anyways I miss all of you so much and can't wait to come home becuase Ukraine is cold and I don't like it. BYEEEEE

A Funeral

2009-01-05T00:46:00.002-05:00

We witnessed a funeral on our apartment front door step. In Ukraine, they don't gather at a church or funeral parlor, they gather at the deceased resident. Then they bring out the body in an open casket and carry it to the cemetery while everyone files in behind. In the summer they walk to the cemetery but since this is winter they went by bus.

The Macdonalds told us it is a very sad affair and people stand by the grave site and often drink vodka until they are drunk. They also go to eat at a home or a restaurant for a lavish meal, but again very solemn. After the burial they drape black curtains over all their mirrors (on cars too if they have them) for 40 days because they don't want to see the spirits floating around.

Being a 2nd world country, many people in Ukraine have to prepare the bodies of their deceased loved ones themselves.

love to all,

Nancy

Off to church with new friends!

2009-01-04T02:40:00.002-05:00

Through another Ukrainian adoption couple, we were told about a missionary family living in Lutugino. We called them and they invited us over to their house. For Ukrainian living, they have a big house! Of course they need it since because they have 12 kids! 7 of them are currently living with them and the others are grown and serving in the army. their names are the MacDonalds and God called them long ago to serve him in Ukraine. They are your typical happy Christian homeschooling family and we really enjoyed spending time with them. This morning they are taking us to their church. They drive a big van (surprise, surprise) and are giving us a lift.

I asked their daughter, Gabby, 16, to help us translate when we visit the boys while are facilitator, Natasha, is visiting her mom. She seems happy to have a job. Upon graduation, she is thinking about becoming a Russian linguist with the Army. More later, Nancy

Sorry for the delays...

2009-01-01T06:56:00.016-05:00

Sorry for the delay in additional posting. You see, in Ukraine the internet is steam powered (it was built during the Soviet era). Since Russia cut off the supply of natural gas to Ukraine, the internet has slowed to a crawl. There are huge warehouses in Odessa full of millions of words that cannot get into the internet as the pressure is too low.

Even so, I did manage to get a bunch of pictures into a draft the other night. Now I'll try to add a little commentary before the steam is shut off for the night.

The next few pictures show Valik and Ruslan on one of the sleds we bought for the school. This was when Valik was flipping the bird. He actually got one in a picture which I have edited strategically. It is after the one where he is doing the bat-tusi. You can see his hands are a blur as he tries to trick me in some pictures.

Notice how Ruslan is holding a bag in almost every picture? He brings his bag of stuff to every visit. It contains pretty much all the little gifts we have given him in the past 2 weeks, including the original packaging. When he is outside, he will not put the bag down.

A pretty good shot of Claire and me, even though I am having a bad hair day. It usually starts out good until the boys get hold of it. It's a lost cause after that, I actually need to get a haircut, but I am worried how it will come out here, since I can't explain myself.

Notice all the shots of the boys taking pictures. We try to take pictures of the boys as much as possible (since we were first allowed to on Christmas Day). However, it is difficult as 1) the boys are rarely still long enough when they are playing, 2) we are not allowed to have pictures of other children (as explained in an earlier post), and 3) once the boys see the camera, they want to take hold the camera and take pictures and do nothing else. We are slowly building a library of shots, but it takes a while.

In the inside pictures, you can see how excited the boys are about their glow-in-the-dark bugs we got them. They kept putting my coat over their heads and going "Wow!". I included a few of these even though most are blurry and over-exposed.

Soap bubbles were also a big hit.

The green building is where they sleep. Ruslan is in one wing of the building and Valik in another. We have not been in their room, though we got to see a representative bedroom (7' x 7' for 2 boys, including 2 short beds, a small dresser and wardrobe).

Nancy and I are not making peace signs. We are telling Ruslan he can take 2 more pictures before he has to give the camera back.

Our first picture of Ruslan. He is wearing his pig costume for the Christmas play

And a picture of Ruslan during his melt-down (when he thought we were only here to see Valik)

Valik is always a blur of motion. Beep-beep-zip-tang!

A Happy New Years Eve

2009-01-01T02:29:00.004-05:00

Hi all!

The court hearing went well thanks to Natasha. She's terrific. I cannot convey fully my admiration and gratitude about this woman for how well she has handled our adoption paperwork, our travel necessities and us. She's a Christian woman who prayed with us and handled our introduction to Ukrainian culture with humor and aplomb. Thanks Natasha.

The judge spent more time talking to me than to Nick. This is unfortunate because Nick is a better spokesman. They must recognize that I'll initially spend more time with the boys after the adoption. Then he went so far as to ask my thoughts about President Yuschenko? "He's been spending a lot of time in America lately, what do you think of that?" I smiled and told him i thought Ukrainian politics were confusing. Lutugino is only 20 miles from Russia and their politics here are very pro Russian. "No comment" sounded too crisp, so I went with the "confusing" statement.

Then our boys arrived. I will always remember the door opening and their shining faces. Valik remembered to keep his hands by his sides and Ruslan's behavior was one of importance. After the verdict was read we gathered in the front office and gave the boys hugs and swings, wished everyone a Happy New Year passed out chocolates and gum. Valik even went over to the judge and gave him some gum.

Next we had to take the boys back to the orphanage. This was a big event for them because we rode in a car!!! "WOW!" the boys kept saying as we put them in their seats. More "WOW!" as we started driving through Lutugino. They even waved occasionally out the window. Valik didn't want to put on the seatbelt but we eventually compromised with a lap belt. I have a lot of work ahead to help him become accustomed to American ways.

In Ukraine, the big Christmas time holiday is New Years. This is when children receive their presents. After court we gave the boys their big gifts: REMOTE CONTROL DANCING TRUCKS! I think Nick and I could have disappeared and fallen off the planet, because nothing else mattered to these boys for a long time. The trucks spin, race, pop wheelies, and make noise. Wow!

Colin and Claire were overjoyed with the news when we returned. I don't think they ever doubted we'd eventually be a family.

Last night was New Years Eve Lugansk style. People celebrate the new year with fireworks in their back yards. Not little ones, mind you, but the big up in the sky powerful ones. We looked out the window at midnight marveling at a sight we'd never get to see in Charlotte because of their ridiculous firework safety laws. (There, I made a political comment, but seriously they are stupid and rarely enforced.) While we watched, pieces of fireworks fell over the top of our apartment building and landed in the snowy driveway. I'm sure there are many people in Lugansk nursing hangovers today, but nevertheless, we plan on going out to enjoy a walk later.

Happy New Year

Nancy

The verdict is in....

2008-12-31T09:00:00.004-05:00

....And all is well!

The boys said yes. The court said yes. So pending a 10 day waiting period (+ 2 days since it is on a weekend) for any family objections, the boys are ours.

So who are they?

Well, R (formerly known as Ruslan Igorovich Burlachenko) is now Thomas Ruslan Combs, born 01/27/99.

V (formerly known Valentin Igorovich Podolyak) is now Robert Valentin Combs, born 11/04/2001.

We chose their American names after Tom Combs (my dad) and Robert Steel (Nancy's dad). We definitely wanted to keep their Ukrainian names, but felt they should have an American name so they won't seem out of place. As far as I am concerned (for now at least), we will use Ruslan and Valik (the diminutive form of Valentin)

From BehindtheName.com

RUSLAN

Gender: Masculine

Usage: Russian

Other Scripts: Руслан (Russian)

Pronounced: roo-SLAHN [key]

Meaning unknown. This name was used by Aleksandr Pushkin in his poem 'Ruslan and Ludmila' (1820).

VALENTIN

Gender: Masculine

Usage: Scandinavian, German, French, Czech, Russian, Bulgarian, Slovene, Romanian

Other Scripts: Валентин (Russian, Bulgarian)

Pronounced: VAH-len-teen (German), vah-lyen-TEEN (Russian), vah-leen-TEEN (Russian) [key]

Cognate of Valentinus (see VALENTINE (1)).

All that said, here is the first official picture (with lots more to follow). That's Valik on the left and Ruslan on the right.

The long arm of the law....

2008-12-31T07:35:00.004-05:00

We had our court hearing a bit early today. It had been scheduled for 9:30, then was rescheduled for 11am. But at 9:30 the judge called wanting to know why we were not there. They (of course) were trying to wrap up for the year and appear to have had a pot-luck lunch scheduled.

We were just leaving, so scrambled to Lutugino as fast as possible. We had to have a driver go to the train station for us to pick up some documents that were sent overnight from Kyiv. Only one of 2 required documents was ready (and on the train). the other still lacked a signature from the SDA, so we were hoping the judge would give us some leniency.

Natasha had briefed us well on the court procedure, so we were ready for the judge's questions. In many ways, at this point the procedure is a formality. However, there was always the possibility of 1) the judge requiring the missing paperwork from the SDA, 2) our making some horrible breach of etiquette, 3) someone protesting the adoption itself, or 4) one of the boys deciding he did not want to be adopted by us. We said many prayers, but left it in God's hands, so felt confident.

We arrived at the court at 10am and scrambled into the judges chamber. In the room were Nancy and I, Natasha, the judge, a court reporter, the assistant inspector, the assistant director of the orphanage, the prosecutor, and 2 witnesses. The boys were not yet in the chamber. We also decided it best to leave Colin and Claire at the flat, but had them on call in case the judge requested their appearance.

The hearing began very formally and the judge seemed rather harsh. I think he was a bit perturbed as he had been expecting us earlier, and they were all trying to get out for the New Year's holiday. However, he very quickly warmed to us, and within minutes was quite jovial.

The hearing began with some legal talk for the record, and stated for the record the status of the biological parents. Then we each stated our name, date, and place of birth. To minimize time, the judge read our petition which requested several things:
- That we be allowed to adopt the boys,
- That their last name be changed to Combs
- That their first and middle name be changed and the patronymic named dropped
- That we be named their parents
- That their birthdate and place remain unchanged
- That their birth certificate be reissued with their new names

With preliminaries out of the way, the judge asked a series of questions.
- Why are we adopting?
- Why are we adopting from Ukraine?
- Why not adopt from Nicaragua, America, or somewhere else?
- Describe ourselves and our family
- How do our children and family feel about the adoption?
- Describe our education and professional history
- Describe our income
- What taxes did I pay on my income last year?
- What does the average family in the US make?
- Do we have any cattle?
- How much does the US government spend on support for the poor and homeless?
- Do we know what the average person in Ukraine makes and what the tax rate here is?
- What do we think about Ukrainian politics?
- Do we think we are prepared to be parent to 4 children and understand the difference of raising adopted children?
- What are our views on discipline? Do we intend to torture the children?
- Do we intend to treat the new children differently?

We were each to stand as we were addressed by the judge. Nancy was asked questions first, and the judge did not dismiss her. So rightly, or wrongly, she was asked most of the questions (except the tax questions). Perhaps I should have stood up to answer, but I did not want to breach protocol. Besides, she was doing a great job, so I got to sit back and admire her effort.

The Nicaragua question came up as we had shown the judge and witnesses our picture book. For those that may read this in the future, you absolutely should make a picture book and show it to as pretty much every official you see. Ukrainians do love to share pictures and it really helps develop a bond. We saw the demeanor of everyone soften each time they saw the book. Ours happened to be 1/2 of our home and family and 1/2 of a short-term mission trip we took to Nicaraguan orphanages about 4 years ago.

The taxes and average income questions I think raised from the judges desire to make sure we understood cultural differences. He said my tax rate in Ukraine would have been about 80%. Yikes. Also, I think it was to see how we reacted to the average salary in Ukraine in comparison to the US. I mentioned being from a small town and below-average income growing up. the political questions were to make a point along the lines of, "we are very much alike (Americans and Ukrainians), and are family-oriented. Don't believe everything you hear". Nancy and responded (masterfully, and truthfully) to the question on Ukrainian politics, saying "Honestly, I don't always understand it." Not only did it avoid any Ukrainian vs Russian issues (the country is very proud of its heritage, but the eastern portion is also very pro-Moscow), but I think they appreciated the humility and recognition of the complexities of political life.

The cattle question I think was a little tongue in cheek as a result of their looking at the pictures of our back yard (which is fairly large).

I assume every question or rule arises for a reason. So the question about torture was interesting. Apparently, someone adopted a Russian child a few years ago and they were abused and murdered. Obviously, our answer was no. We emphasized the key was to have rules and to ensure the children understand the rules and the consequence (lost privilege) of breaching them.

Finally he asked some more formalities such as do we support the petition, are we aware of the children's medical records, are we aware of our responsibilities as parents.

Satisfied with those responses, the boys were escorted in. They stood at attention, with big grins on their faces. R was asked questions first. Meanwhile V got a little squirmy on the seat.

"Do you want to go to the America with the Combs'?" "Da"
"Are you ready to leave the orphanage and Ukraine?" "Da"
"What will you do in America?" "I will help Mama and Papa." (I meant to get a recording of that for future use, but forgot).

V straightened up when it was his turn. Same questions, same answers.

After a short recess, we were read the verdict....

Court is tomorrow (Wednesday)!

2008-12-30T16:35:00.005-05:00

We have our court date tomorrow (Wednesday) at 11:30. This is to make the adoption legal. We will be asked a series of questions as to our ability to parent the boys and we make our petition to adopt them, to change their last name to ours, etc.

The boys must consent as well. They seem excited about being adopted by us. I think we have a great connection, but you never know with little boys. Please keep us in your prayers. We hope that their answer is use, but simply pray that God's will be done.

Today we visited the boys for a couple of hours. We bought sleds for R and V's classes and delivered them. We gave the sleds a good trial on the playground. The boys gave me a good workout.

We also got their passport photos done. The boys behaved perfectly. They wanted to get to the toy store, but Natasha told them "Business first". R said, "I understand business first, but after that can we look at toys?" They both sat up straight and gave killer smiles for their photo. They may be the first people in history to have a good passport photo. (My recent one is not horrible. My previous one made me look like a thug).

The boys also made a special request for a New Year's present. We got them each a remote controlled truck that does wheelies and lights up. It also makes a loud obnoxious noise. I won't be surprised to see the speakers get mysteriously damaged.... Father Frost will be making that delivery tomorrow.

We got a bit more info about the post-court date period. The 10 day wait ends (of course) on 1/10/ But that is a Saturday, so the paperwork (and the really, real official adoption) won't be completed until Monday 1/12. At that point the boys will stay with us.

We then need to get revised birth certificates, but those aren't done on Monday, so that will have to wait until Tuesday. Then, we can apply for a Ukrainian social security number (Not sure why, but I think it is because the boys still retain their Ukrainian citizenship until their 18th birthday). But those aren't issued on Tuesdays so we will have to wait until Wednesday.

After that, we can apply for a Ukrainian passport. Apparently there are 2 types of passports as Ukraine is transitioning their passport standard (just like the US is doing). The old type will take about a day. The new type will take about 10 days. I'm not sure where this area is in the transition. We, of course, hope that the old type will be sufficient. If not, we will probably end up taking a short vacation somewhere in Ukraine.

After that, we will return to Kyiv for several days of final processing.

I tried on fur coats

2008-12-30T02:10:00.003-05:00

Natasha, Claire and I went shopping in Lugansk yesterday after all the fun we had bowling. Natasha has a wonderful eye for fashion and quality. We were both impressed with a boutique called BGN at the mall. Beautiful silk blouses and nice designs. You needed a great figure to pull off much of their clothing. However it seems that most of Ukrainian women can provide that.

We also tried on fur coats for me. Again, I'd rather not purchase a coat without Natasha there because she has an excellent eye for the quality. Suprisingly, the type of coat I thought I'd want didn't look that great on me instead of a whiskey brown mink, I found I enjoyed a bluish silver with my coloring etc. Of course I tried on this one coat from heaven, it was a sheared mink that they also embossed a pattern into the fur. Amazing! And a steal too. Unfortunately this coat was still out of my budget but none the less, for a minute there, I was in heaven. I told Natasha how in America there are animal wacko groups that will throw blood or paint on your coat, and she looked mortified.

We finished off with a trip to a lovely tea house. My tea was a special winter blend mixed with honey and I loved it! I don't think I can buy it and bring it home though. Claire liked it too and wants to go back and have another cup. We all wished grandma could be with us knowing how much she likes a good cup of tea. love to all Nancy

I'm Going on the Ukrainian Pro-Bowlers Tour

2008-12-29T09:59:00.002-05:00

We went bowling today. One lane for 4 of us for 2 hours, plus shoe rental and four sodas totaled about $16. Not too bad.

The coolest thing though was I was the best bowler there. By far. I averaged about 153 (better than usual I admit). But if the local skill was any indicator (the gutters were well worn; much more than the lanes were), I think I could qualify for the PBA in Ukraine.

Claire actually has a nice hook on her ball. I never could do that and gave up long ago, which is why I will never get into upper 100s. Nancy actually showed she is ambidextrous, making a spare with her left hand.

Her are a few shots.

Afterward we picked up a few groceries and the girls are out shopping. By the way, the old stereotype about grocery stores in the former Soviet countries is not true, or at least no longer is true. They have lots of real supermarkets with good selections. Not as big as a Harris-Teeter or Winn Dixie (about 1/3 the size), but plenty large, especially given the small flat and small refrigerators. We have to go every day to stay in stock. A bit of a time-waster, but there it is.

As I mentioned a few days ago, the food is inexpensive. Especially sweets and chocolates (which are excellent here). Also cheeses and various meats (you know, the typical European salami) are very inexpensive as well.

Anyway, just a few notes today. We were going a bit stir crazy and wanted to see more of the city. The boys are on their rescheduled trip to the circus.

We will visit them tomorrow for our last big visit before court. Please keep us in your prayers

For the Lutugino Fan Club

2008-12-29T09:43:00.005-05:00

The picture is of the official Lutugino emblem. You can also see it on the sign of entrance to the town. The sign below says "Lutugino, Our Town".

Apparently they are fans of Thornton Wilder.

From the site of Ukrainian Heraldry:
"It was confirmed by the decision of city council session at September, 27th, 2002. The shield per pale by or gear pale on a sable field with fillet wavy argent columns and a gules field. The emblem adorned by argent decorative cartouche and crowned by argent city crown. Below it are crosswised argent pick and hammer, twisted by yellow-red-black tape with black inscription "LYTYHYNE". The authors are O.A.Zhytnychenko and A.V.Zakorets'kyi. Main areas of the industry of city are coal and metallurgical. Therefore the shield divided on sable (coal) and gules (fire). The city carries a name of the scientist-geologist which carefully studied geology of territory. Therefore on a sable background are argent wavy lines which symbolize geological structure of district, rich on a deposit of coal, limestone, sand and clay. The city is obliged by iron-works and rollers manufacture. The gear column symbolizes a product of this enterprise - rollers, and or colouring specifies high quality of production. Besides the gear column associates with coal output (the mine conveyor, a combine etc.) The Belgian contribution to the industry of territory at 1898 (a payment of the Belgian joint-stock company in construction of a factory) is displayed in a colourful palette of the city arm: black-red-yellow are colors of Belgium flag which more than hundred years ago counted significant territory of Donbas as "the tenth province ". Due to this contribution of Donbas became advanced industrial territory. A pick and hammer symbolize geological researches and coal."
Dov Gutterman, 8 June 2003

The City

From the site of Ukrainian Heraldry:
"The history of city began since construction of blast furnaces and specialized iron-works factories near Uspenka village by the Belgian joint-stock company. Eighteen years settlement were without a name. The further growth of settlement depend on construction on its territory at 1914 Shmidtivka station. At 1925 factory settlement and station was given a name of oustanding scientist - geologist L.I.Lutugin."
Dov Gutterman, 8 June 2003

A couple of random shots of Lutugino on Christmas Day

Is it rude or funny?

2008-12-29T01:27:00.004-05:00

Well, yesterday was funny. We took Claire with us yesterday to play with the boys. We are alternating the kids coming along so we can save on taxis. We played out doors in the snow. we pulled V on the sled which rapidly became a workout, while R kept taking pictures. R's little fingers got red with the cold,but he didn't care. Then we managed to get both boys on the sled, pull them up a tiny incline, run and push them down as fast as possible. Not exactly Carrowinds but still our best effort. With the boys sitting in the sled, Nick went for the photo. V flipped the bird at the camera! I couldn't believe it! Nick kept saying "Nyet" and refusing to take the picture. I said "nyet" too but all V could do was smile. Then I looked at Claire who was laughing her head off.

Natasha helped us explain how ugly that gesture was, and eventually V gave in and made the two finger "peace" sign. We'll post that photo as soon as we are able.

The boys are supposed to be going to the circus today, so we won't go visit them. We plan on taking Claire shopping and perhaps visiting the famous Lugansk museum. We have to do something or else get cabin fever. Boy is it cold out there. love to all Nancy

Two Quick Visits

2008-12-28T16:00:00.004-05:00

Saturday and Sunday we made two brief (~2 hour) visits with the boys. We decided to keep our visits before the court date relatively short. We want to see the boys of course.

However, this particular orphanage is very protective of the children. That means that we are confined to a relatively small area (one we have been in for a week now), though with each step we are allowed more latitude. We are kind of running out of things to do with them in that area given 1) the language barrier, 2) their attention span, and 3) since there is a classroom adjacent, we have to keep the noise down.

So our thought is let's be conservative so nothing goes wrong before the court date. I understand some may disagree with that approach, but we don't want to get delayed an additional 2 weeks (over the holidays) if one of the boys gets jealous or something. Besides, we are spending a good amount of time anyway and will have even more very soon.

Anyway, we did more of the same. More Stop / Go (i.e., red light / green light), more Duck Duck Goose, and more Hide and Seek. We also let the boys take a few pictures.

Nearby is a picture of the road to Lutigino. I think somehow Hope and Crosby overlooked that sure-fire blockbuster.

We brought Colin yesterday and Claire today. The boys are really taking to both of them well. Nearby is a shot of Nancy and Claire waiting for the boys today. This is in the building where they sleep.

Today, Nancy did a little more mime, as did V. I did a little juggling for them, but then they wanted to try. Not so good an idea in a small classroom when you are using oranges. We tried reading a story, but there was too much going on. We showed the boys the pictures from home again. They can't get enough of that. We were in the classroom again today instead of the big waiting room. That's where we had trouble with V last week. I think the small size of the room is not good, as most of the fun games we play require more space.

We played outside for about 45 minutes, pulling the boys on sled, and letting them take more pictures. It was really cold today though (about 15 degrees), especially after I loaned my gloves to R.

The pictures are a bit of a problem. Just like when we were in Nicaragua, the kids are fascinated by cameras, and want to take pictures of everything. That's ok, until it is time to share or to put the camera away. They push back on that one.

We did get some good pictures. I'll post them once we are able. But that's still a few days away. It seems that the older boys like to flip the bird in pictures though. And these kids have picked that up. Every time they did, I put the camera down and said "Nyet" firmly. They thought that was terribly funny. We told them that was ugly and they should not do it. Believe me, we will be working on that one, since that is about the most obscene gesture there is in my opinion.

We got the boys some little plastic glow in the dark bugs. They loved that. They kept putting my coat over their head so they could watch them glow.

They also really like soap bubbles. I'm not sure they had seen them before. V used up about 1/2 a bottle, though most of it I think is on the classroom floor.

One interesting thing has happened. I think it is caused by a combination of things. 1) Boys are more comfortable with us and so are not on best behavior, 2) the language barrier as we try to do more without Natasha (picture nearby), 3) each boy responding to how we react to the other boy.

Anyway, to a small degree, the boys are behaving somewhat like the other. V is calmer than last week, and is more verbal. He still can get wired, but overall is better behaved. R is acting more childishly and sort of quacks when he is playing (though he is still quite verbal most of the time). He is misbehaving a bit more too. I think he saw that V was getting more attention last week and is emulating him a bit. Also, we hear that orphans often regress somewhat as they bond with new parents, so that may be part of it too. I think the language barrier is part of the issue. We are trying to step up our efforts on language.

I don't want this to sound concerned, or that either boy is acting badly. It's just that we see this change on the margin. Both boys are still really great, and we continue to have lots of fun.

Coming Attractions

2008-12-28T15:40:00.002-05:00

Well, nothing can be set in stone, but here is a rough idea of the agenda from here.

Court Hearing on 12/31. At this hearing the judge will ask a bunch of questions and go over paperwork. Assuming all is well, and that the boys say (again) that they want to be adopted by us, the court will decree us their parents (pending a 10 day waiting period).

10-day waiting period. The court decree does not become effective until after the waiting period. This is to give a chance for any family to step forward and object to the adoption. This is unlikely as the possible family that is known have already consented or do not have the right to object. Possible, but unlikely.

Government shutdown until 1/12. Civil servants are on holiday for New Year's and Christmas until 1/12. Once they return there is more paperwork to be done in Lutugino. Our facilitator estimates this should take from 3-10 days depending on how smoothly it goes. Once some level of documentation is done (not sure what, but out facilitator handles that), the boys will leave the orphanage and stay with us.

Somewhere between 1/15 and 1/22, we should have our local paperwork done and will head back to Kyiv. There we have to finalize paperwork with SDA, get medical check-up for the boys, get their Ukrainian passports (that might happen beforehand, not sure), and get a travel visa from the US embassy. That should take 3-7 days.

Somewhere between 1/18 and 1/29 we should be complete and will be able to head for the US.

So I assume we will be in US between 1/19 and 1/31 (adding a couple of days for schedule slack).

As I understand it, once the boys set foot on US soil, they become citizens.

Nothing can be definitive, especially with holidays around, but this is as close as we know.

Beautiful Downtown Lugansk

2008-12-28T10:44:00.008-05:00

On Friday, we had a day off as the boys were going with their school to the circus in Lugansk. At least they were supposed to. We found out on Saturday that the circus trip had been postponed to Monday. On 12/24, a five story apartment building blew up (due apparently to leaky oxygen or acetylene tanks in the basement) killing at least 22 people. A national day of mourning was declared for Friday.

No one but me felt like running around town, so I suited up and went out to take pictures. We have gotten about 6 inches of snow over the last few days (quite a bit less than had been predicted).

Here are a few examples to give you a sense of the city. Lugansk seems ok, but a bit bleak. Still I think I got some good shots. Of course, the snow makes everything look better.

Here is a museum (and theater, I think) about 1/4 mile from our flat.

A street scene at the same location. There are lots of casinos in the area. Our driver said they are small time though.

A little further ahead is the football (soccer) stadium. You can see one of the old Soviet-style mosaics above the stadium. It has a huge Christmas tree in front (180 degrees from the previous photo)

ahead is a gymnasium of some sort. It is adjacent to the local university, and seems to have some Olympic record tied to it. It says something to the effect of "My dear homeland [something] record"

A view of one of the shopping districts, near the government buildings.

This appears to be a memorial to the Great Patriotic War (WW II). The inscription simply says 1941 1945.

These last 4 are various angles of a statue of Jesus and Mary. They have some deer decorations in the yard (apparently they have fewer problems with the lights on those than I do. Ours take hours of work every year.). The 3 girls in one picture are all about 13 years old. This seems to be a popular picture spot. I saw several people having pictures done there, including 1 wedding party. As I'm sure you are aware, Ukraine is primarily an Orthodox (either Russian Orthodox or Ukrainian Orthodox) country.

Why Ukraine?

2008-12-27T17:43:00.005-05:00

As we began the adoption process, several people asked (and we asked ourselves), why adopt from Ukraine? After all, we have no family ties here.

In many ways, I can honestly answer, I don't know. We felt God was leading us to be here.

Nancy fell in love with a picture of a round faced little boy here.

We like that we choose the child we want to meet instead of having the government choose him for us.

We like that Ukraine has a good reputation for taking care of the small children.

But what solidified it for us was when we stumbled across this video.

merry christmas

2008-12-26T14:35:00.003-05:00

christmas was awesome! first we opened presents and all that stuff so that was fun and then we went to the orphanage and watched a performance and...unfortunately... they decided to pull people from the audience and strangely enough expected me to know the words to their little ukrainian songs and i was like...haha umm yaaaa...it was interesting but still kinda fun. but the good thing is that all the little kids were dressed up in costumes and v and sorry about just letters for there names but we arent aloud to use their whole names online yet ( the 7 year old) was a pig and he looked adorable!! and i forgot what r ( he'll be ten in january i think the 27) was but he was really cute too :). after that the power shut off ( while i was in the bathroom too...) and that was off from about 3 till 4 and so we walked down to the big christmas tree but i didnt look at it cause i was too cold so i dragged colin into a random building there but that wasnt much warmer than outside so i was like jumping up and down and doing stuff to keep warm and i think everyone thought i was crazy but... yaaa. anyways i love you guys and i miss u and cant wait to come back home MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!

Christmas

2008-12-26T14:03:00.002-05:00

Christmas was very different this year. Since we couldn't get a real tree we got a interesting, light weight wood carved tree. It looks pretty cool. Maybe my dad could post a picture. Well, I mostly got DVDs. The Dark Knight, Iron Man, and Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (you know the newest Indie adventure with aliens, communist spies in America, and liberals looking down of conservatives for even the thought of the spies close friends of being spies themselves). Now on to adoption. We saw our candidates again a few more times. We get toys for them that are really for kids a few years younger, but since there are developmental delays in orphanages they don't seem to mind. It's fun to see their faces light up when we give them the toys. We play with action figures and they like to chew gum. Otherwise I've been at our flat. That's about it!

A Christmas to remember

2008-12-26T01:22:00.011-05:00

Well what do you know, it wasn't Santa that visited us in Ukraine. Actually it was Father Frost (who dresses exactly the same) and his daughter Snow Maiden.

If you don't have a chimney, that's no problem because they will slip in through the window! Snow Maiden is all dressed in blue with white fur trim. There definitely were gifts beneath our little tree that no one knew who put them there, so Father Frost found us! [Nick: He must have done that for our benefit though, because he usually leaves presents on New Year's Day]

Afterwards, we dressed and hurried over to the orphanage where all the teachers and workers performed a play for the children.

R had treated us to many of the rehearsals the day before, but everyone was in full costume including the children in the audience! V and R were dressed as little pigs! Yes we took pictures, but unfortunately we cannot post them yet. We will try later. The silly costumes took center stage as each performer danced several dances.

A man appeared as a ballerina and danced to Swan Lake. There was a forest witch with an evil skeleton man, a white fairy and a chicken man who wished to someday be a sultan with belly dancers. Children cheered and clapped and laughed.

Here's a shot of the curtain call.

Then everyone was invited to the center of the room for Ukrainian dances. R ran over and made sure his whole new family joined. We held hands and circled, jumped and clapped. One particularly silly dance had us touching our neighbors cheeks, nose and ankles during the song. I noticed Colin and Claire were all smiles and blushing too. 20 years from now they will be glad they entered in rather than sitting on the sidelines. Hurray for R!

Perhaps I'm wrong, but I don't think anyone has showed up just to watch R and V at a school event before. V was circling with his classmates when his eyes caught mine. He lit up with recognition. Afterwards they proudly posed for pictures in their costumes.

Colin and Claire are delightful throughout this whole process. We were even complimented by the orphanage director about how good their behavior is! Claire finds a way to look fashionable in all this weather. Her long chestnut hair really stands out here. Colin's hair does too, of course. All the children admire their braces. They look forward to being bigger siblings. None were upset because the amount of presents seem meager compared to previous years. The excitement of the day was enough for us all. As it is supposed to be. Plus we love the pastries here. After all, there are no calories on Christmas. Colin and Claire made one urgent request for future vacations though. They want next time to go somewhere warm!

Merry Christmas!

2008-12-25T18:16:00.011-05:00

Just a quick one with a few pictures. Lots of stuff to tell about the day and the great show at the orphanage.

Here is the little birch tree I bought at a local department store (Rossia). And presents of course. You can't find wrapping paper here so everything is in gift bags.

This is a picture from the Christmas tree lighting ceremony in from of Lutugino city hall. The first shot shows Vladimir Lenin admiring the tree. I think this is such a cool picture.

The next one would be even better if Photoshopped to balance the exposure better. It also shows Lenin looking at the Christmas tree while Father Frost (Ukrainian version of Santa) dances around the tree with the local children.

And lastly, here is a picture of Jesu Christe from the wall of the orphanage. The photo is an original photo by R himself.

Finally, I hope that everyone has a very Merry Christmas (it's still Christmas where you are) and will take time to remember what Christmas is all about. Not toys, not family and friends, not joy, or even peace on Earth. But about the birth of Jesus, God in the flesh come down to Earth to be a sacrificial atonement for our sin. A free gift for the asking.

Merry Christmas everyone.

Day 5: Yes, Yes, My Baby Said Yes, Yes....

2008-12-25T16:43:00.008-05:00

Well, there you go. We scheduled our meeting with the orphanage director and the inspector (actually the assistant inspector) to meet with the boys again. We left Colin and Claire at home this time.
Went to Lutugino (here is the entrance to town)....

....and to the orphanage...

We prayed a lot for this meeting. Of course, we wanted the answer to be yes, but as in all things, that God's will be done.

We got out of the house about 10 minutes later than inspected, then realized that we were in trouble due to weather. There wasn't that much new snow in the ground, but like most cities, the side roads are last to be plowed (and the main road we usually take was iced over). So it took us 20 minutes just to get out of Lugansk.

We arrived at 11:05 for our 11am meeting. Not that big a deal, but I don't like to have anything that might cause others problems (at anytime, but especially when my interest could be affected). But that was no problem. The meeting began about 15 minutes late anyway.

The director asked me how the boys were behaving. She of course has been keeping tabs on our visits (as she should) and no doubt heard reports from others around the orphanage. I was caught a little off-guard as I was not expecting any questions. I said we were doing well, especially as the boys and we got to know each other better, to get more comfortable with each other, and to understand each other better. And that we were getting along very well.

No doubt our translator improved my answer (she's very good about that). Nancy also said how much we like the boys and how we are looking forward to bringing them into our family. True, and a much better answer than mine, which probably sounded a bit clinical.

The boys came in to the meeting all smiles. We sat them on our laps and gave them some gum. We showed him the picture book of our home and school and family one more time to keep everything fresh. The director smiled at V and asked him several questions in Russian.

The answer? "Da"!

I'm not sure of the questions, but from the director's inflections and the length of the question, I'm pretty sure it was
- Do you want to go live with Mama and Papa in America? Da
- Are you sure? Da
- But the other day you said no. And now you want to go? Da

R was asked the question again. He said "Da" as well. We were very happy with that but not surprised of course, as he had been asking Natasha for the last couple of days when we could all go to America. He wanted to know why we couldn't go tomorrow. Natasha explained to him that it takes several days to get approval but that it would be soon. She said he should have a talk with his brother since he needs to agree as well. He said, "I know. I have been talking with him already."

Well, clearly the boys are both in agreement now.

We said our goodbyes to the director. She said we could now take some pictures of the boys, though we shouldn't post them on the internet yet (until this time, we did not have any pictures of them. We have been careful not to break any rules). We can also take some pictures inside the orphanage, though be careful not to include any pictures of other children as it can break the law.

That's a rather long story, but basically Ukraine does not allow pre-selection of children. This is to prevent any trafficking in children. If someone's picture were posted, someone might try to adopt a specific child, which could then be interpreted as pre-selection.

We walked out of the director's office and took a couple of pictures of the boys. Well the boys were both fascinated by our cameras. That's where the trouble began.

We let R take some pictures (though he hadn't quite figured out how far to push the button). He was doing his best to take pictures of us and the room which is decorated for Christmas. Many at the orphanage were practicing for their big Christmas play (quite a production. More later).

But there were also some children around and he wanted to take pictures of them. We kept telling him "Nyet" when that occurred. We also tried to show him how to turn on the flash so the pictures wouldn't be blurry. Then he wanted to watch the rehearsals, but we needed to go upstairs to the meeting room.

He gave us the camera and we went up. Well, then it was V's turn with the camera. But there were no kids upstairs, so he pretty much could do what he wanted.

We think that was the straw that broke the camel's back. All of a sudden R ran behind one of the couches and laid down on a bench with his head buried in his arms. He wouldn't look at, or speak to, anyone.

At this point, we had no idea what was wrong (the camera story we figured out later). We tried to coax him out and to see what was wrong for about 20 minutes, but to no avail. Natasha wasn't there as she had begun the process of getting the legal documents in place and was across town.

We decided to leave him there for a while to give him a chance to calm down. We walked to the other side of the room to play with V, who had great fun, though he knew something was wrong with his brother too. He was concerned as well.

After a while R came out. I gave him the camera and he took lots of pictures (with me stopping him only when a child was in the frame). He took a picture of the entire room, foot by foot. He likes extreme close-ups (like in Wayne's World). There are several pictures of my nostrils, a fishes eyelashes, and the letter 'e' on a plaque on the wall.

All seemed well.

Natasha got back. We told her what had happened and she asked R about it. In retrospect that was about the worst thing we could do (not that I'm blaming her. We wanted to know). But that brought up all the memories with him and he went back behind the couch.

Eventually, Natasha was able to get the info out between sobs.

He had noticed how we were playing with V more than him for the last couple of days. He said we always tell him no, but V can do what he wants. He said he knew we were there to see V and not him. That just about broke our hearts. It's funny too, because to us it seemed like we only slightly indulged V, but I guess to a 9 year old, who I'm sure is not yet secure in his relationship with us, that it seemed like a lot.

At first, he said he didn't want to go to America with us. Later he said, "I'll go, but not if V goes too".

Natasha explained to him that he was the big brother and needs to understand that V is little and doesn't understand things as well as R does. She also said we love him very much and want them both to be in our family. We have to play with them both. And it is hard for us since we don't speak Russian, so sometimes we don't understand what is going on.

He held her and sobbed a bit. He then gave Nancy a small hug while she gave him a big one. He let me hug him, but I noticed his arms were to his side.

It was time for his lunch so we said goodbye and he wandered off very politely. But I heard the door slam at the bottom of the stairs. A message to us.

We spent lunch befuddled, trying to figure out the reasons for what had happened (the reasons I mentioned above). We decided it would be best to meet with R alone this afternoon so he could have some special time with us. We also got him a couple of cookies and bought him a little airplane toy (which Nancy promptly broke). Our only concern was that V would get jealous. I can tell you that the language barrier will be a challenge. Fortunately they usually don't last too long.

Meeting alone was definitely the right call. R came into the room, huge smile again, and came bounding into my arms. Big prayers of thanks went up right then.

He wanted to watch the rehearsal for the Christmas play. We sat with him on the couch. I watched his face more than the play. He has such delight in his eyes. It was like when Colin was a baby. When we watched fireworks, I would turn around and watch him. It was a better show than any fireworks display.

I went upstairs once to get Nancy's purse. He came up within seconds and took me back down to watch the show some more.

We only stayed about an hour. But all was right with the world again.

We stopped at the market on the way home to get some items for dinner. We were careful to get milk (moloko) instead of kefir (some nasty buttermilk-like substance that I bought a few days ago).

I was getting ready to go to checkout when a woman walks up to me and says, half suspiciously, "What are you doing here in Lutugino speaking in English on Christmas Eve". I was a bit stunned and babbled something unintelligible (I do have a way with women).

She explained she worked with local schools and charities and works with several Americans in the area. She was very nice. We spoke for about 15 minutes, and she gave me the phone number of a local missionary from Chattanooga that I had heard of.

On home from there.

Now I had to go Christmas shopping.

I know. I had intended to do it in Kyiv, then in Lugansk, but the free time I had expected never arrived. I found a great gift (Whew!) and have one yet to come.

We watched "A Christmas Story" as we do every year. All the characters are great, but Darren McGavin really makes that movie. One thing I particularly like is all the sub-text in the actors who are not center stage. There are lots of levels in this one.

Finished wrapping at 2am (as usual) and settled down for a long winter's nap.

Day 4, More Fun and Games

2008-12-25T11:45:00.003-05:00

Back to the internot (or detsky dom or orphanage) on Tuesday with Colin and Claire for more playtime.

Both boys are still very excited to see us. R shows it best. He has a smile from ear to ear when he sees us coming. He sees us from far off and waves non-stop until we see him. I guess he has been waiting for us outside. When he comes in the room to see us, he runs full speed and jumps the last 10 or 20 feet for us to catch him. Fortunately he is light. I guess I know how the Flying Wallendas feel. What a great kid. Of course, V is excited as well, but he smiles and hugs without barreling us over. His smile is much more mischievous.

Today's bribe, er gift, was a pair of rubber balls with eyes and tentacles. They also have a light inside that blinks when the ball bounces. You know, the kind designed to induce seizures. These were a big hit with both boys. Unfortunately, that night someone sat on V's ball and broke it.

We played another game of Candyland. It was interesting because V was the calmer one while R kept skipping to different colors. Quite the opposite of the first game (on Day 2). Still both were fun to play with.

We played more of the same games and began holding the boys by their arms and legs and swinging them. That is a new favorite, though my back is not too thrilled. It's a good thing they are small, or I would be laid up for a few days.

We went outside to play and had a great time. The internot has a large play area. One section is asphalt. When it snows the kids slide on it until there is a run of ice. they run and slide on that. There are 3 or 4 tracks of ice out there.

The kids did that several times. They watched me try it once. Then V saw my lack of skill and held my hand and slid backwards (like you do when teaching someone to ice skate). That was neat to see him want to teach me.

The kids love chewing gum. Nancy has them say "guhm pleez". They have learned that quickly.

Of course we played more hide and seek, hokey pokey, wheelbarrow races, etc.

We try to play with the kids while keeping the noise down as much as possible. The high school kids have a class in the next room. they are in the middle of exams and I know we are bothering them. One girl sees V and goes "Ay-yi-yi" like Ricky Ricardo. We just look sheepish. I'm sure it happens all the time with that many kids around.

As we were leaving, R leaned over to me and whispered something to me. I said "Ne znayu. Ye ne penimayu." ("I don't know. I don't understand"). I had him tell Natasha, so he whispered it to her. he said. "I want Papa to bring me a radio. The kind that plays the songs." You probably have seen them before.

Colin and I ran some Christmas errands that night in Lugansk. He got Nancy a charm for her bracelet. It is an icon of Jesus and Mary. Nancy wanted something Ukrainian, so that was perfect.

Thus ends Day 4

Day 3, Part 2. Colin and Claire meet the boys

2008-12-24T17:22:00.003-05:00

After our meeting with the Director, we left with the boys for some intensive playtime to rectify the situation. Which basically means more attention, more candy, and fewer "nyet"s.

We introduced them to Colin and Claire. They hit it off right away. Claire says the boys are "adorable". Remember that both Colin and Claire picked these boys as their top choice when we were at the SDA last week (as did Nancy and I).

The boys really like Colin and Claire too, though they 1) still get their names confused (to them both names are babble so are not girl or boy names), and 2) can't quite pronounce their names. Colin can be Cohn, Cohlin, Clon, etc. And Claire can be Crar, Kaar, Clahr, etc. But they had been looking at their picture for several days and recognize them well.

We got the boys Spiderman action figures (Spiderman, Venom, Man-Spider, Doc Ock, and Green Goblin) and split them up between the boys and Colin. Playing with action figures with them is the same way Claire used to play Barbies. Bang, Bang, Wham (as one action figure slams into another).

We played more hokey pokey. Then, we played more London Bridge and Duck, Duck, Goose. Both are quite popular. The boys are very good about making sure everyone is picked in Duck, Duck, Goose as well as most games. They are emphatic about sharing. While energetic (to say the least), both boys really can show some good manners.

Since the boys had to go to lunch, we ducked out for the same. We ate at a nice restaurant by Lake Lutugino (really more of a large pond) just past some dachas on the east side of town. We were the only ones in the restaurant, and like most, the lights were out until we arrived. Even then, they only turn on the ones necessary for our use.

The restaurant really is geared for summer traffic at the lake with a sand patio and sort of tiki-style tables and huts outside.

We saw some men out ice-fishing on the lake. The lake is not totally frozen over yet though. It's a bit too early in the season.

On the way back we stopped at a hill where there is a large monument to locals who died in the Great Patriotic War (aka World War II). I'd guess there were about 1000 names on the plaques. The red crest on the spire (too small to be seen in the picture is a hammer and sickle).

There is a very nice 360 degree view from the monument. At least it looks like a great view in the spring and summer. It was a bit bleak (and cold and windy) today.

I finally got a good shot of the main building at the orphanage.

We got back with more gum and cookies for the boys (and some sort of small toy) for the boys. They came in just as happy as ever, with big smiles and big hugs for all of us. You'd never know V had said no to us just a couple of hours before.

R and V both come in carrying their bags with all the goodies they have received so far. All are neatly tucked into the bag. Anything that comes out of the bag goes back in exactly as it came out. (I hope they can keep their rooms as neat). They still have all the packaging for every toy as well. And no one else but the owner is allowed into their bag, including Mama and Papa.

We had the boys demonstrate their budding mime skills again. They love the attention. We couldn't get them to sing with us. Of course, they don't know our songs, but they seem to sing or at least chant some Ukrainian songs and rhymes. I think we have some performers in our midst.

We looked at pictures of our house and family again. They love to do that.

We played outside briefly, but it was too cold to stay long, and our afternoon visit was relatively short.

That was about it at the orphanage that day.

We got back to Lugansk and tried to find a good place to exchange some more cash. The government of Ukraine has begun selling dollars and buying hryvnia to support their currency. The rate changed from about 8.50 hryvnia / dollar (and over 9 hryvnia / dollar on the street Friday) to 6.50. We had seen that on Sunday, but that day the banks would not even accept any dollars. We finally found a place to exchange for 7.50 so that was pretty good. We didn't exchange too much though. I never have seen government currency support to work for long. Usually they end up supporting for a few days, using up cash, then seeing a resumption of the decline.

More cabbage rolls at the mall restaurant and we were done for the day.

Another good one, all in all, despite the early morning rejection. Of course, I went to high school so I already know how to handle rejection.

Moda Ukrainian

2008-12-24T02:37:00.002-05:00

Remember what the Beatles said:
"The Ukraine girls really knock me out, they leave the west behind."

It's true! The women here are very attractive. Especially in Kiev they are also very slender. I asked Natasha about this (who is also very slender and attractive herself) and she said that Kiev women walk alot. It's true. Now here in Lugansk the gals are still slender, but not as much as Kiev. Plus they do all this walking in high heels! Stilettos even!

A note to my dear friend who offered me her fur coat before I left. Boy did I make a mistake turning you down. This part of the world has tons of fur coats. Even women who don't have fancy lifestyles have fur coats. When we get back to Kiev, Natasha will tell me where to find a reasonable one. Well see if I get one or not.

love to all

Nancy

Day 3, Part I: V's Surprise

2008-12-23T17:47:00.003-05:00

It's getting late, but I need to leave you with some suspense.

Knowing we wanted to adopt R and V, we went to the Director's office on Monday morning. Today, Colin and Claire were supposed to meet the Director and get approval to meet the boys. We had not yet told Colin and Claire (or Natasha) of our decision. The inspector and his assistant were there. The Director was concerned about some of our questions from the previous day (word travels fast) about size, but went over health and academic questions. We tried to assure her these were not concerns, but were information we needed to know.

Suddenly, the boys were ushered in. The Director said a lot. I picked up about 3 or 4 words and figured out she was asking R if he wanted to come to live with us in America. "Da". More questions. Each time, an emphatic "Da".

She asked the same questions to V. "Nyet". More questions. "Nyet". More that seemed to be "Why?". Silence.

Without knowing fully what had been said, it was clear that V had turned us down. It sounded to me like the way a little kid (2 or 3 year old) will say "No" to every question. "Do you like ice cream?" "No".

But even if that is the case, it is enough to throw up a road block. The law requires that the boys must agree to be adopted. That's the way it should be of course. But we were definitely taken aback. Unless he was just playing around, we think it is because we disciplined him the day before. The inspector suggested we hold off on that. The Director said we should take a day and the reconvene.

More of Day 3 later, but it is 1am. Besides, everyone likes a good cliff-hanger

Day 2 with the Boys

2008-12-23T16:45:00.009-05:00

Trying to catch up, I really am.

We went to the orphanage (or detsky dom) on Sunday, and had a repeat of our playdate from the day before. More hide and seek, more samolyat.

We also played "hokey pokey" and "duck, duck, goose". Duck, Duck, Goose is an especially big hit.

We got to see a bit more of the orphanage as we went to the sleeping house. We did not get to see their bedrooms, but did see someone's room. It is about 7' x 7' and has 2 very small beds in it, maybe 4' long.

The building is old, but they seem to do their best to keep it clean and in good repair. The floors are very worn and badly need some stain and polyurethane. They are bare, grey wood. The walls are clean and have been painted many times. I think the paint is literally about an inch thick in some places. Kind of like Queen Elizabeth's makeup. Most paint is institutional green.

Like most places in Ukraine, the lights are out unless the room is in use, and often out even then. They do not waste electricity. Often times in a restaurant the room is totally dark when we arrive, then a few lights are turned on for our benefit. I think they turn on the heat then too. The waitresses always look cold.

One high compliment I must pay is to whomever teaches the children art. There is a lot of student art on the walls and some is very good. There are lots of letters to Father Frost (who brings toys, as opposed to Santa Claus who is just St. Nicholas. I don't honestly understand the difference, but there is one). Anyway, the letters to Father Frost (from all ages) are decorated with drawings. All were quite good, many creative, and some excellent. I wish I could take some pictures, but they are forbidden.

We got to go to the pre-school (kindergarten) class where V attends. It too is very small, perhaps 12' x 12'. There are 4 rows of 4 desks with a passage down the middle. The desks are pushed together so there is just enough room to slide in.

At the same time, the room was neat and had plenty of books, maps, etc. though it looks like the material is old. But let's face it, not much really changes from year to year at that level.

Nancy did more mime, and the boys showed us their skills some more.

We decided to try to do more quiet things as well as we could to see how V would react. Honestly, at the beginning I was more worried as he was rolling around and making noise, and being very squirmy.

I brought "How the Grinch Stole Christmas" (probably my favorite book) to read to them. We decided it would best if I paraphrased the book (since the rhymes wouldn't translate anyway) and Natasha would translate.

So I would say things like, "The Grinch was a very mean guy who didn't want children to have fun at Christmas...When the Who's started singing he would cover his ears because he hated to hear them having a good time". Then Natasha would translate. I have no idea what she said, but it was usually about 2-3x longer than what I said. (Yes, I did get a bit choked up while reading this. Read Nancy's post for that).

Anyway, they seemed to be enjoying it (R definitely was). But about halfway through V began laying down on his desk and rolling around. I guess the story was too long for him. We decided we could not let him disrupt and so stopped the story until he could sit. After a staring contest, we decided he would have to go to his room if he could not listen. Then he wouldn't hear the rest while we read to R (who sat perfectly still the whole time). He sat pretty still after that, so we were pretty proud of ourselves.

One of the supervisors (women who are not teachers but handle most other activities) came in and said we could ask her questions. We barraged her with questions about his schoolwork, behavior, activities with friends, etc. She said he was a pretty good student, probably about average. He likes to stay active but is good with completing tasks when assigned. He also encourages others to help as well. She mainly emphasized he was a very good boy. And I must say that watching him with the supervisors and watching his behavior when he was packing to leave always bore that out.

We asked several questions about his size, and she said he was on the small side of average for the kids they see. That gave us a lot of comfort.

We finally introduced the boys to Candyland. It is a great game for little kids as it is very simple and colorful and needs no directions. And we brought a few pieces of candy for the winner. We play Candyland for blood in our house. Seriously. There is a lot of trash talk the whole game. Somehow, since Claire was very small, I always ended up losing in this completely random game. But that has become a source of fun for us.

The boys caught on quickly and followed the rules well. As always, I ended up at the back of the pack. V won, with R close behind. They got extremely excited (in a good way) as they got closer to the Candy Castle (the finish line). It was pretty cool.

Soon after, we had to pack up. More hugs and "Da svedaniyas" and we were off again.

As I mentioned yesterday, I was about 80-85% positive after Day 1. On the first half of Day 2 I was a bit lower as I was worried about V's behavior. But seeing how he responded to some light discipline made me feel even better. But I was still not sure. (Nancy was feeling positive too, but was less sure than I the whole time, but I will let her comment on that.) After all, it was only 2 days. But I definitely was feeling pretty good about these kids.

Claire wanted to go shopping since she and Colin had been cooped up for 2 days at the flat (since they could not yet meet the boys). We went to a small mall in town, but it was only open for a few more minutes. And like most shopping in Ukraine I think, seemed to consist only of black high heel boots and women's underwear (not at the same place of course. It's not that kind of mall). We left soon and tried to find a restaurant.

After about half an hour of ducking in and out of the cold, we finally found a restaurant ("X. O" I have no idea what that means, but that was the name). Quite good, and we all ate for about $50. Not bad for a full service meal for 4. I had some amzing pork with mushrooms and cheese.

It turns out pork is very popular in Ukraine (another sign I was in the right place). Apparently Ukraine has been attacked by Turks many times in the past. Each time, they would loot all the gold, silver, animals, etc. But they would always leave the pigs since the Muslims consider them unclean. But as Mom would say, "That just means there's more for me". So pork became a traditional meal. They do a great job with it.

Claire was pretty excited to find out that the restaurant had a "squat toilet". 'Nuff said.

As Nancy mentioned earlier, we watched Patrick Stewart's version of "A Christmas Carol" on DVD (we brought all our Christmas DVDs). Hearing Jacob Marley talk about "Mankind was my business", and The Ghost of Christmas Past speak of brought so much joy to his workers for just a few pounds was really getting to me. Then as we saw young Ebeneezer Scrooge let his fiance leave him while old Scrooge (in ghost form) was telling him not to be afraid and not to let her go was getting to me.

God speaks to us in many ways. I suddenly realized that I wanted these boys to come home. I had no more doubt. I told Nancy, and she agreed. We were ready to let the Director know.

More on that in Day 3.

[FYI, Patrick Stewart was excellent in A Christmas Carol, as he always is. I am a huge fan of Star Trek: The Next Generation and own all 7 seasons on DVD. Highly recommended. He gave an even better performance in his guest shot on "Extras", the Ricky Gervais series on HBO a couple of years ago. [If you don't know, Gervais is the originator of "The Office" on BBC which gave birth to the American version on NBC, which happens to be the best show on TV]. To see Patrick Stewart on "Extras", see Episode 6 of Season 1. His scene is hilarious, but is not for kids.]

Nick is such a softee

2008-12-23T12:44:00.002-05:00

And the Grinch realized something he hadn't before,
Maybe, he thought, Christmas doesn't come from a store.
Maybe, he thought, Christmas means a little bit more.

I am married to the sweetest guy! Sometimes I forget how compassionate he is and then there are moments like these.

Two days ago, while we played with the boys, the supervisors let us inside a small classroom. It was very old, but not dirty, with litttle Ukrainian pictures on the walls and some of the children's art work. We decided to read a story outloud to them with Natasha interpreting. Nick read "The Grinch That Stole Christmas", but shortened the story to match their attention span (especially since we are reading to them in a foriegn language.) Well, the old softee said "the Grinch realized that Christmas was something more than just toys." And his eyes misted over as he thought about how these boys didn't have a lot of toys or much of anything really. Then his eyes met mine and he blushed while I giggled. Only Nick could get misty eyed while reading "The Grinch."

That evening we watched "A Christmas Carol," starring Patrick Stewart. It's a classic. When Jacob Marley said to Scrooge, "Business? Mankind was my business. The common welfare was my business." Nick was again touched to his very soul. Later that night (misty eyed again) he told me he definately wanted to adopt these boys and how they need a father and mother and how he would regret not meeting their need. So I reminded him that there are other orphaned children. Was he sure these are the very ones? He said "yes."

Now, to finish this story I must take you back to the morning before we left to visit the boys and read them Dr Seuss. I'd been having devotionals online, and almost every site spoke of the Christmas story and how Jesus' birth was a sign from heaven. Well, my very prayers had been for a sign to affirm my desire to adopt these boys was also God's will. And as I held my teary husband in my arms I realized my prayers were answered.

Day 1 with the Boys

2008-12-22T15:49:00.004-05:00

Sorry for the delay. It has been a very busy 4 days. I'll fill in a day at a time.

I realize this is long (as it is a diary as well as news). You can skim it, or wait for the Cliff's Notes, if pressed for time.

Day 0:

We arrived in Lugansk (as I mentioned earlier). We checked into a very nice flat owned by Nikolai and Nadia. Nikolai and I hit it off well given our names (and that it was St. Nicholas' Day).

That afternoon, we went to a small town called Lutugino (loo-too-geen'-oh). At least that's the closest English spelling I can think of. The Cyrillic is

Лутугине.

It is a small city of about 80,000 about 1/2 hour south of Lugansk.

We met Friday afternoon with the inspector, a very friendly fellow by the name of Andre. I think I mentioned all this earlier. Here is the outside of the building at the main square of Lutugino.

So on to Saturday (Day 1):

We got to the orphanage ("Lutugino Internot" or "Lutigino Boarding House") at about 9am. They had had several parties for St, Nicholas Day on Friday, so the place was well decorated for Christmas. Unfortunately (but understandably), they do not allow photography in the orphanage so I cannot show them to you. But I do have one I took of the outside of the orphanage. It consists of 2 buildings (1 for bedrooms, and the other for schoolrooms and administration) as well as playgrounds.

Here is the building for sleeping.

We met the orphanage director at 9am. She was a pleasant lady in her 50s. Like the inspector meetings the day before, we mainly sit there with smiles on our faces while they converse in Russian with our facilitator Natasha. After about 5 minutes she turns to us and asks a rash of questions. Pretty much the same as before. She asked several questions with regard to our ability to afford to raise two additional children. Apparently, she was satisfied.

We were expecting more questions when suddenly, in walked R and V (as mentioned before, we feel it best to withhold their names until our court date makes everything official).

They are tiny little guys. We had thought their SDA pictures were a couple of years old (as is typical). It turns out, they must have been very recent. At 10 (as of 01/09) and 7, the boys could easily pass for 6-7 and 4-5. They both walked in as shy polite kids with huge smiles. They have blond hair, gappy teeth, and great big grins. They are buttons (as in "cute as...").

She told them we were coming because we wanted to take them to live with us in America and was that ok with them. They both nodded. We were a bit taken aback, as we thought it was a bit too early for that question (more on that later), as it would increase the trauma if we were to say "no" to them for some reason. On the other hand, they probably knew why we were there anyway, so I guess it doesn't matter. Anyway, what's done is done. So from then on, we were "Mama" and "Papa".

We sat them on our laps and pulled out the Lego presents. That was a huge hit. They opened all the bags and smashed a few lego pieces together. But mainly, they wanted to put together the Lego people and play with decals and the little guns that came with it. Not knowing the boys yet (and based on the suggested age on the box of 6+), we got Lego sets with about 350 pieces. That was way over their heads and attention spans. On the other hand, they loved it, so the gifts were a success.

We played together with the boys in the Director's office for about 10 minutes. Satisfied with our introduction, she allowed us to go into a common area of the orphanage with the boys to get better acquainted. Let's just say they feld pretty comfortable with us right away.

As Nancy mentioned, R (the 10 year old) is a very polite, very meticulous boy. He puts his things away neatly. Actually, he tried to put everything away exactly as he found it. With each toy piece back in its original slot in the marketing package. He talks a lot, is trying hard to learn English words (with a very cool accent), and is very polite. At the same time, he is very energetic and leaps (literally) into my arms every couple of minutes. I haven't dropped him yet, but since he gives no warning, it is bound to happen sooner or later. He can sit quietly for a long time as well when he must, and seems very diligent. He tries to take care of his things, and would not put his Lego set down (or let anyone hold it) on the playground for fear it might get dirty. He clearly gets along well with his brother V and I can see that they play, wrestle, laugh, argue, and fight. In other words, they are brothers.

V (the 7 year old) is a younger clone of R, though with a somewhat different personality. He is careful with his things, but not as much. He is demonstrative like R, but moreso. He has an incredible amount of energy. He got a bit overexcited the first day and did a lot of yelling (which was a bit concerning). But he also is loving, fun, and creative. He can sit still but for shorter periods (and he is younger after all). He does respond well to his caregivers so clearly is not out of control (in case you are wondering).

Both boys are agile. They do lots of somersaults and roundoffs. R can almost stand on his hands. V is better with the somersaults. They also like wheelbarrow races. So despite their size, they are strong.

We played Airplane (or "samolyat" in Russian) for about 2 hours I think. Nancy and I lie on our backs and put our feet on their stomachs, hold their hands, and launch them into the air. V will let go and make wings with his arms. R really doesn't. Instead he tries to do a handstand on my hands. I know we are going to bump heads soon.

Hide and Seek is also big. That was probably another hour. There were only about 5 places to hide in the room, but we mix it up as well as we can.

After these games, V was pretty wound up. He started leaving the room (which apparently they can do at will most of the time, but he was supposed to stay in while we were there). While herding him back up the stairs after one of his jaunts, he suddenly turned around and launched through the air down 4 steps into my arms. He knew I would catch him. These boys give me a lot more credit than I probably deserve, but I did get him.

The boys showed us around the room at the artwork of the students on the walls. Sometimes, it was to tell us the Russian name for Cat or Dog, or to show us the various Ukrainian symbols as we walk by each. V would point at each and say "Ooo-krah-ee-nah. Ooo-krah-ee-nah. Ooo-krah-ee-nah." as we walked by each. They also pointed out cossacks on the murals. Then they would count things for us. They like to show off.

When the ladies announced it was time to go, the boys carefully packed up their toys, gave us HUGE hugs, put on their coats, said "da svedaniya" and left. They really can follow a regimen when they know what to expect.

We ate lunch at a nearby cafe and discussed the morning.

We saw they were pretty cool kids and a lot of fun. The only real area of concern was V's shouting. Not continuously shouting of course, but very often. Need to learn more. We were hoping that a chance to calm down might make him a little less rambunctious.

Not really. The afternoon was a continuation of the morning. More hide and seek. More samolyat. More standing in the window shouting "I've got a papa. I've got a mama".

I don't mean to make that sound too negative. There was lots of very good behavior. But while both boys are energetic, V is in a class by himself.

One huge hit was Nancy's mime. For those that don't know, Nancy studies mime extensively in high school and is very good. She has one routine about making masks. She mimes painting the masks and putting them on and off, changing very silly faces.

Actually, we did that in the morning. In the afternoon, the boys suddenly jumped up in front of us and wanted to perform the mask routing for us. It was really neat. They both make great faces. R seems to do it a bit better, but V has more creative faces he makes.

We played for about an hour and a half, then repeated the big hugs, carefully putting away toys, putting on coats and boots, waving, and saying "da svedaniya". And out they went.

As it was about 3:30 and pitch black (we're 47 degrees north latitude and are at the far eastern end of our time zone), we went back to Lugansk.

It was a busy, tiring day, but great fun. We like the boys very much, but definitely want to see them in different environments to see behavior and hear more from caregivers and teachers. Still, I'd have to say I was about 80-85% sure these were the kids after the first meeting. Pretty good odds, I thought.

I'll catch up with Day 2 tomorrow.

My first visit

2008-12-22T13:12:00.002-05:00

I saw the first group of orphans today. They are very active. It was intresting. Something weird though, many children have a developmental delay. They act younger than other children from a family. We were expecting this but it was still intresting to see. They, two brothers, are really nice. We got to play games with them like Candyland, Redlight Greenlight, and Hide and Go Seek. This should be fun.

hey guys

2008-12-21T15:02:00.000-05:00

ya well for the past two days i've been in our flat most of the time and been sleeping and stuff so ya its not that bad. mom and dad have been going to see two boys that we might be bringing back with us and i am going to meet them tomorrow. thanks to those of u who commented in the blog ( ahem jamie) and i miss u and cant wait to come home. its tooo cold here!!!!!

2008-12-21T13:05:00.002-05:00

Hello everyone. We are now in Ulgansk. My parents saw the first "contenders" last Saturday. Claire and I still haven't been able to meet them yet, but we get to hear what Mom and Dad say. So for the last two days me and my sister have just been home alone. While we are home, or at our flat, we just hang around, get on the computer, or read. Not much happening right now for me recently. Hopefully tomorrow we will be able to meet them.

opening and closing doors

2008-12-21T08:43:00.004-05:00

We arrived in Lugansk after we decided to meet two boys here. I had prayed God would open windows and close doors. My facilitator inquired about the other two siblings we looked at and those doors were quickly shut for various health reasons. So it was on to Lugansk to meet R and V (abbreviated names for privacy).

Nick and I have met with them three times now and find them endearing. R and V are very opposite in personality. R is calm obedient and thoughtful. V is high energy and already testing us to see who is boss. Both children are unbelievably small and can easily pass for two years younger then their birth age. Institutionalization does delay their physical social and emotional development but the studies show that a loving family and proper nutrition catches them up remarkably fast, although not always 100%.

I wish I could send you a pictures of their smiles when they see us coming. Their eyes looked like saucers when we handed them lego kits at first meeting. R wouldn't put it down during playground time because he worried the box would get dirty. V reminds me of the Road Runner - "beep beep zip tang"! They are a package deal, so I must be sure that I have enough energy in me to properly parent both these boys. Please pray for our decision.

love to all
Nancy

Step 1 in Lugansk

2008-12-19T13:30:00.005-05:00

We left the flat in Kyiv yesterday. There was freezing rain which made the traffic even worse than usual. We had to stop by the SDA to pick up our referral between 5 and 6pm. Then about 2-3 miles away to the train station for an overnight to Lugansk (I changed the spelling from yesterday. I think this is the better one, though I have seen both).

We got to SDA with just a few minutes to spare. Our facilitator had made arrangements for us to pick up our referral right away. Apparently that is a big deal as there were long lines there we passed right by. I don't think we want to know how that was done. Suffice it to say, we got there, then ran to the car and made a mad dash (at about 5 mph given the traffic) to the train station.

We got there with about 10 minutes to spare. We met our new facilitator Natalia (or Natasha for short) who is traveling with us, and said goodbye for now to Yulia and Yuri.

We had a sleeping cabin on the train. Kind of like in "North by Northwest", but not really. 4 folding beds and bedding. in a room similar to that on a battleship. Not bad at all really.
The beds were fairly comfortable. However, the train was HOT. At least until about 1am when they turned off the heat. By morning, it was fairly comfortable.

We passed through the night through long flat stretches of Ukrainian country-side toward the coal-mining area of Lugansk. Sorry for the bad picture quality but it was through a dirty train window.

We arrived in Lugansk a little later than the schedule 9:45 (out time in yesterday's post was inaccurate). We then got a car to our new flat in Lugansk. It is owned by a very nice couple named Nikolai and Nadia. Nikolai and I hit it off well, given our names and that today is St. Nicholas Day!

At about 2pm we headed off to the nearby town (basically a suburb) about 15 miles away. I don't recall the name off-hand, but it was south of Lugansk. We met with the local inspector. He found a couple of errors in the documents that had to be corrected. The birthday of one boy was wrong. He is 7 instead of 6. And there was some other family found, but we don't think that will be an issue.

The process here, is that you meet the local inspector who reviews all paperwork for accuracy. he also asked us questions as to why we were adopting; why from Ukraine; do we know the children are likely to have some developmental delay; do we realize it will not be like raising our biological kids since their personalities are developed, etc. Important, but also expected, questions.

He was very friendly and is trying to make arrangements for us to go to step 2 which is to meet the orphanage director. However, due to 1) parties at the orphanage for St. Nicholas Day, 2) parties with police at the orphanage since it is also Police Day, and 3) visiting dignitaries, she has been very busy to the end of the day.

We are scheduled to meet her tomorrow morning at 8am. Assuming she approves of us, we then can meet the children.

We stopped to pick up some toys for the boys. We got them a couple of Lego(-ish) sets. One is a city hospital and the other a SWAT team (actually spetznaz). They should like that :-)

Finally had our first meal of the day about 6pm. we ate pizza and cabbage rolls at a local mall, then picked up groceries. With the weakness of the hryvnia, they were cheap, about $15 dollars.

Please pray thanks that our trip has gone so well so far, and that tomorrow's meeting with her and the boys are well received.

Off to Lugansk

2008-12-18T09:01:00.003-05:00

We spoke to Yulia this afternoon and got more information on the children. One may (emphasize "may") have some health issues that were not documented at SDA. Another one was good, but is in Italy on a hosting program until 01/16.

That leaves the 2 boys. One is 6 1/2 and the other is almost 10. They have been in the orphanage for about 3 years. They are somewhere in the Lugansk area, though I don't know where yet. The area is at the far eastern part of Ukraine and very near the Russian border.

We packed quickly and are waiting for our ride. From here we go back to SDA (is we can get through traffic in time) to pick up our referral. Then we head to the train station for a 6:45 governight train. we arrive in Lugansk at 8am.

Ate lunch at Mictep Cnek, CendbiY Bap (Mister Snack, Sandwich Bar). Had a pretty good chicken kebab. A nice man helped Colin order a couple of snausages.

With a lot of hurry up and wait (as well as jet lag), we really haven't had any time for sightseeing. But we will be back in Kiev for at least 1 week at the end of the process.

Got to run

opening and shutting doors

2008-12-18T03:01:00.002-05:00

I'm praying that God opens the doors and shuts others. All sets of children look sweet and in need of parents. Yesterday, they told us two slightly older boys were diagnosed as "emotional." After reading their file, we found out that their mother had died over a year ago and they've been in an orphange ever since. Could that be the reason why their "emotional?"

Later this morning, Yulia will call us with more information about the sets of children we've chosen so far. My prayer is that God makes it clear to us which children he wants us to have.

Please join me.

Nancy

SDA Meeting Complete. referral coming

2008-12-17T11:07:00.005-05:00

As Colin said, we had our SDA meeting today. This is the entrance to the SDA. It is in a very nice part of the city with lots of old 1700s / 1800s style buildings.

It is next door to a beautiful church, St. Andrew's.

We got there a couple of minutes early and had to wait outside the gate. Claire wasn't too thrilled with that.

Once we got inside, the wait is in a very narrow hallway, with one sofa (and about 15 people). We only had to wait a few minutes.

The woman there was very nice. She looks like Pam from "The Office". She only spoke Russian, but clearly she understood (and presumably speaks) English.

We were only shown siblings. We saw no single children. I think this is partially due to our indicating willingness to adopt 2 siblings. Kind of like when I applied for a ROTC scholarship. I indicated desire to major in math or engineering. The Air Force needed engineers. They would not let me major in math. I think it is more difficult to get siblings adopted, so they will take that opportunity when possible. Can't really blame them. Also, we have heard recently that there are very few single children without significant health problems.

Besides all the kids we were shown looked very healthy. Very minor problems at most. Like astigmatism and myopia. And like most orphans, most had some developmental delay. We were expecting that anyway. Nothing of concern.

We probably overstayed our welcome a bit. We ran about 1hr 15 min. In the end, we had our facilitator call the orphanages to get more information. She will call us with what info she is able to get, and we will make our decision tomorrow (for a referral, that is. Not a final decision). Then, tomorrow afternoon we get our referral and Friday, travel to the orphanage to meet the children.

Yulia (our facilitator) is checking on 3 sets of siblings (2 boys, a boy and girl, and a girl and boy). They all have good information on their file. Hopefully, the file will reflect the situation correctly.

Water situation is slightly better. The girls had cold showers this morning, but Colin's and my showers were a bit warmer than room temperature (so that's probably in the 50s).

Thanks to all for continued prayer. We definitely need guidance in making the right decision for these children and for our family.

The SDA Meeting

2008-12-17T10:17:00.002-05:00

We have now seen our choices so far. Now our process will be to meet the children and decide. I was hoping for a single child, but we have found that there is a higher probability that there will be health issues and were shown none for our option. Personally, I am currently leaning towards two boys, ages 6 & 9 (almost 10), but we will have to meet them before any decision is made. I always knew that this would be a hard choice because to accept a child you have to deny others. Yulia, our translator, is making calls to find out some more info on the three groups of children we are considering.

Ukrainian Cuisine and Cold Flashes

2008-12-17T05:44:00.005-05:00

[Nick's comments are in brackets.]

Last night was fun. We went to a very traditional Ukrainian restaurant downtown [, called Schekavitza. The food was authentic Ukrainian and very good. It was pricy by Ukrainian standards. The 4 of us ate for about $120]. It was almost like Disneyland. Everyone was in these costumes and the decorations were covered with kitsch and cows and Christmas ornaments. I had borsch soup and lovely appetizers. [Nick had banush, which is like grits with cheese and pork. It was great.] Claire had chicken Kiev, Colin and Nick some kind of pork dish [Colin's was pork wrapped in bacon. Nick's was Pork in a potato pancake]. Their favorite spices so far are garlic and dill. Musicians sang and played the accordian. Like I said, we somehow morphed back to the Epcot center, but hey, we love Epcot! [Except that big golf ball thing. We still threaten to take the kids onthat ride again if they misbehave. Yawn!]

[Here, FYI, is the entrance to our flat.]

Another real adventure here is getting ready. Basically, the apartment is cold. We must be almost fully dressed to stay warm and there is barely any hot water.

We cannot figure out the hot water heater that is above our stove. [Actually it is to the right of our stove. Also, the stove reminds me of our old gas stove. you have to uses start the gas then light a match. I had forgotten about that]. We think the gas ignites and heats the water pipes. But this doesn't last. We just get a flash of hot water and then it goes back to being cold. The plumbing is backwards too. Hot is Cold and cold is hot etc. Guess what? Claire no longer takes long showers!

Last night we left the bunson burner running on the stove and it really did help warm up the apartment.

Day 1

2008-12-16T09:42:00.002-05:00

Well, its been a good day so far. Ukraine is a bit different then America. My family is strictly 2% milk. We find 1% to taste really bad. Unfortunatly they don't have 2% here. It goes 1% to 2.5%. It tastes kind of sweet. I can get use to it. The supermarket had some strange foods. Cheese popcorn, crab flavored potatoe chips, it's pretty weird. Also, instead of diet coke, they have coca-cola light. There are no tv shows in english, except for some music videos (most of the stuff i've never heard of), and some shows that have been dubbed. We will have a translator to help us, named Yulia (sounds like Julia). Well, the last thing that I've noticed is that there are alot more tobbaco ad's. People smoke more. I don't have a problem with that but it just feel different. That's all for now.

our first house

2008-12-16T07:42:00.003-05:00

hi! right now we're staying in a flat in kiev. my parents have the bedroom and my brother has the trundle and i have the couch. ya... but its not that bad. today we've been inside the whole time and its really cold, like really REALLY cold.
anyways miss you guys

We are in Kyiv

2008-12-16T07:14:00.003-05:00

Sorry for the delay, but just got internet access set up. That took about an hour until I found a security setting that needed to be changed.

About a 21 hour trip. We left Charlotte at 2pm Sunday and got into our flat at 7pm Kyiv time. Pretty uneventful trip which is good. Ate a late lunch at Chili's Too.

Lufthansa definitely is the way to go across the Atlantic. I prefer their business class, but even their coach is pretty good. Only problem was they wouldn't let us in the Star Alliance club in Munich (though they should have), and US Airways let us in their club in Charlotte (which they should not have). 5 hour layover in Munich, then a 2 hour flight to Kyiv.

We got through passport control and customs in about 10 minutes (without using VIP service), but I think we were lucky to get in at a non-busy time. That caught our facilitator by surprise who was not expecting us for another hour. But that aside, we got in with no snags. Very tired but no problems.

Colin passed time by working on his new 5x5 Rubik's Cube.

Nancy waited for Yuri to arrive.
Yuri (our facilitator's husband brought us in, got us set up in our flat, and took Nancy to get some money and a few groceries). Nancy exchanged dollars for hryvnia at 7.70 UAH per dollar. Today the rate is 8.12 UAH per dollar. The hryvnia has really melted down in the last month, and even more in the last week.

Slept about 12 hours last night (which is good after about 2 hours on the plane). Virtually no hot water. It was piped in to the cold faucet. Used nothing but "cold" and was able to get a cold Navy shower (wet down, water off, lather up, rinse off, get out).

Met with our facilitator this morning for a couple of hours and got the run-down on our SDA meeting (at 2pm Wednesday, which is 7am EST), got set up with a cell phone and internet (just dial-up though so it is pretty slow).

Prayer requests:
- Pray for the people of Ukraine and their economy which is having a very rough time (as evidenced by the exchange rate)
- Pray for God to grant us a smooth meeting with the SDA and to lead us to the child He has chosen for us
- Pray for hot water (if you have any time left)

hey guys

2008-12-14T16:59:00.001-05:00

hi well we're in the airport right ow and about to leave for germany its an eight hour flight so ya super fun anyways when we're in germany we have a 5 hour layover so ya again that'll be great and then we fly to ukriane! i miss u guys email me if u want

Hello

2008-12-14T16:46:00.002-05:00

this is my first post here in this blog, so here I go. We are now in the airport waiting for our plane to arive. Thankfully th airport has internet connection, although I am worried about how much internet I will be able to get. My hope is to adopt a boy. I wonder how many books I will go through with my free time there. Well, I guess that's it, I don't have much else to say. I'll try to write soon.

zoooooom

2008-12-14T13:44:00.002-05:00

Well here we go! We've been packing for hours, days actually. but of course there is always that final push where you find you really need an extra bag or two. The kids are picking out dvds to bring. oh well. Plus, yesterday before we left, Nick had signed me up to take a cooking class at Johnston and Wales downtown. Then last night Nick's choir gave a lovely performance with orchestra and everything! What a rat race.

We appreciate everyone's well wishes and prayers. we are excited to go and a little tired too. But we have plenty of books and games and presents for orphans etc. My mother and father are waiting to drive us to the airport. We fly from Charlotte to Munich then after a 5 hour layover it's off to Kiev. Our facitlitator will meet us at the gate.

love to all,

Nancy

Packing, packing, and more packing

2008-12-12T23:43:00.002-05:00

38 hours til we hit the road. The last week has been a flurry of errands.

Buying gifts, getting clean $100s (folks in Ukraine worry about counterfeiting and won't take bills that are torn or have any marks on them. It takes a surprising amount to get clean ones. My accept rate is about 20%), making arrangements with Orphan's Hope, cramming Russian, etc.

For those that don't know it, Ukraine is largely a cash-based society. They also have a culture of gift-giving. That is true in the actual sense as well as in the euphemistic sense (though not to the degree of, say, the governor of Illinois). Hence the need for cash.

On the plus side (for us at least) is that the hryvnia (Ukrainian currency) has fallen to about 7.8 per dollar from a little over 5 per dollar in mid-October. So our money is worth 50% more (their currency has fallen by 1/3). Tough situation for the people there though. That's about how much the US stock market has fallen in a year. But it will help on our last-minute Christmas shopping (hope that didn't sounds too callous. Just making the best of it).

Nancy has been making copies of kids schoolwork for the next 6 weeks. She has a class on baking Old World Christmas breads tomorrow (my birthday gift to her. Well it was for my benefit actually, but don't let her know that).

Buying books to read, getting software updates and battery chargers. Dropping off our cat at Nancy's parents, paying bills, getting Christmas cards and adoption letters out to everyone.

Lots of mundane but critical stuff. 6-7 weeks is a long trip and it takes a lot more logistical effort than normal.

Colin's band had their Christmas concert last night. He is playing tuba (a chip off the old block). I have my choir concert tomorrow (but have to miss Sunday's).

Will try to post again before we go (then the interesting stuff starts).

2008-12-06T19:33:00.002-05:00

Hi again!

Well, we leave in about a week from now. I'm in a tizzy just trying to get everything together I'm slowly packing my bag and my bedroom looks tornadoish. I've worked my wordrobe out to three outfits based off of a black and white mix and match design plus a black skirt for when we go to SDA meetings or to court. I also have silk underwear, cuddleduds, plus snow esentials. I bought the cutest hat to coordinate with my coat, so I hope to be stylin' occasionally.

We will probably have plenty of downtime in Kiev, so I got creative with some of the items I'm taking with us for the family. First of all, I'm bringing the kids homework, so they won't fall too far behind at school. I still have to make the xerox copies of their text books, but I plan on doing that tomorrow. Secondly, I'm bringing craft/fun activities that we often don't make the time to learn at home. I brought some knitting so I can help teach Claire how to knit. I also brought a book that teaches oragami and another teaching how to make really cool paper airplanes. These are all easy to pack and fun to learn. I just hope that the kids take me up on my fun ideas. Oh, I also bought dog balls which are excellent at teaching kids how to juggle! I am encouraging Colin to find music that he knows, so he can play it for the orphans when we get to the orphanage.

Colin Claire and I just finished devouring the "Twilight" series of books. So I was looking for some good books to read. My sister recommend "Enders Game" a sci fi series that she couldn't put down. I picked up the first two at the book store. I am also looking for recommendations for an easy family bible study we could do there as well. Something fun but simple.

We have bought many presents to give to people there. Uraine is a present culture and you are expected to give presents at different transactions so my mother and I have shopped a lot. Our Ukraine adoption agency, Orphan's Hope, told us that Ukrainians love to get peanut butter as a gift! They have a hard time getting it there so a peanut butter sandwich is looked on as a caviar sandwich! We'll be happy to oblige.

2008-12-03T17:40:00.002-05:00

Dearest friends and family,

Thank you for looking in on our spiritual journey. We are all excited about expanding our family and "rescuing" an orphan from a potential hard life and giving them a loving family and home. I'd like to add my comments as to why we are adopting. I firmly believe the Holy Spirit has lead me to this decision. Did I say "firmly"? Actually I mean to say I believe, even if somewhat shakily but I do believe He gave me my desire to expand our family.

In a Bible study, a few years ago, we read "be fruitful and multiply" which was the command God gave to mankind. And although this child will not be my natural born child, he/she will multiply our family and we will teach him or her about our Lord Jesus Christ and how to walk by faith. This is another way to multiply our physical and spiritual family.

I had thought on and off about adopting over the past couple of years, but it was about a year and a half ago when I was at the ocean, that my desire to adopt really took hold of me. I took a walk early in the morning and just thought of how my own children were growing and becoming adults right before my eyes. I envisioned them coming home on holidays and eating with us at our dining table, and then I realized that there was room at the table! Having a larger family will bring Nick and I more joy. You see, you can always trust God. If He tells you to be fruitful and multiply, it's for your own good.

I'll write more soon. God bless!

Travel Plans

2008-12-02T16:32:00.003-05:00

Everything continues to inch along. Except our trip, of course. It is approaching at high speed.

We finally got our plane tickets. The kids decided to stay with us the entire time. I think they were excited at the prospect of missing a month of school. But we will keep them busy. Bwa-ha-ha!

We will be leaving for Kyiv on 12/14. With a dinner-time departure, we will make it to Ukraine at about 4:30pm the next day. So we'll probably get to our room (flat?) around 7pm. Definitely a long day. But we are flying Lufthansa, which is definitely my favorite trans-atlantic carrier. No dice on an upgrade though :-(

So over the next 12 days, we will work on getting packed, getting gifts, etc.

And of course, we have to fit in Christmas concerts, Christmas cards, school, etc.

But that's the fun of it. And, in Ukraine, we get to celebrate Christmas twice! Gotta love that.

By the way, for anyone learning Russian, I recommend Pimsleur. It's expensive, but very good. I just started doing the reading lessons. I have been listening to the audio. But the reading lessons add a new dimension. It definitely is helping my pronunciation and understanding.

The other thing is that the cyrillic alphabet is so different. After all, you might recognize a word on hearing, but completely miss it in print.

For instance, would you know that PECTOPAH means "restaurant"? When you pronounce it ("ristorahn"), it is obvious. But not so much in print. Should help with shopping and restaurants as well.

Gotta go decorate for Christmas here. Can't have the place bare before we leave.

Playhouse, etc.

2008-11-24T22:51:00.004-05:00

Well, the playhouse project took 6 full days of work (not the 1 afternoon I had expected). It's a good thing I don't make estimates for a living.

The job is pretty much done, though there are some punch list items to complete. It looks the same as it did when I started, except I added a new deck, there is a floor inside, and there are no black widows. I think it's important for a child's play area not to be infested with poisonous bugs. But that's just me....

Nancy and the kids painted it yesterday, so we were able to button it up before the rain came. And we were able to get it done without the Homeowners' Association having a cow about the mess in the yard.

I also did some work on getting plane tickets. That would probably be easier if I weren't so cheap. We have reservations, but I think I can get a better deal. Either way, we are traveling on 12/14.

The open question is when Colin and Claire are coming back. We probably will have them return on 1/10 and stay with grandparents. I still like the idea of them staying with us the whole time. But the good news is we found an airline that will escort them so Nancy won't have to travel back and forth.

Lufthansa will do it for an extra $150. That just happens to be my favorite trans-Atlantic airline too, so that's probably what we will do, though I need to do a bit more checking.

I also started haunting some of the other Ukraine adoption blogs to try to get a better idea what to expect. Need to get in the loop of other adopting families.

Russian and Playhouse

2008-11-19T23:59:00.005-05:00

Been listening to Russian I tapes. I had listened through Lesson 10 about 2 years ago, but lapsed. Started over again, and have re-listened to Lesson 10. That actually helped as hearing it a second time, it is sinking in more. A long way to go though.

Was listening to Russian while making repairs to our playhouse. We put up an 8' x 10' playhouse with a little porch about 7-8 years ago. But it has been unused for a while, and the floor had rotted out. I thought this would be a good afternoon project to repair.

So far, I am up to 3 full days of effort. Like most home projects, the more work I did, the more problems I found..

I found that the rot had gotten to the front wall, so I took that out. Then I found the front porch deck was rotten, as well as the rails. Then I found out it wasn't just a 2 foot section of the floor that was rotten, but about 1/2 of the floor. The problem was that the builder let the front porch slope toward the playhouse, this let water run under the door and onto the floor.

What a mess.

The demolition took about 2 days because I had to keep as much as possible, and remove the sections carefully so I could add the new repaired material. I began the construction today using pressure treated lumber.

I decided to add some flashing to minimize the water incursion. As I was installing the aluminum flashing, I noticed it said "Not for use on pressure treated wood". Thought maybe I should look that one up on the internet.

I knew PT lumber had arsenic in it. Well, it used to. I didn't know it had changed. Nor did I know that it also contained copper. So, that would cause a dissimilar metal problem, and basically would cause the aluminum to rust.

That got me thinking about the bright common nails I had used in buildings the joists and stud wall. Oops. That is a no-no as well. Fortunately, according to an old hand at Lowes, I can just add stainless steel nails (which are ok for PT wood) and I do not have to remove the others I had used. Just be prepared for them to rust.

Anyway, not exactly an adoption story, but it is a part of our preparation for our new child. Well worth it.

Logistics and Language

2008-11-13T22:32:00.003-05:00

Logistics are a bit of a wrinkle. We have arranged for the kids to come with us to Ukraine for the entire time. Essentially, we will home-school them for a month, but will follow the chapters they would be covering in school. We can keep up with homework by using email. I'm sure it won't work out as easily as we hope, but the school is being very flexible. That's another advantage of a small Christian school.

We have yet to nail down when Claire (and perhaps Colin) will return to Charlotte. They might come home early, or may stay the whole time. I guess that means we will need to get them tickets with adoption fares (so their return date can be flexible).

We need to nail these dates down soon though, as tomorrow is 30 days from our departure date....

I really have to get going on my Russian. I waffled for several months as to whether to try to learn some Russian or Ukrainian. Ukrainian is the national language but from what I understand Russian is more predominate, especially in the eastern portion of the country.

I finally decided to try to learn some Russian as it might be more useful. I have volumes I, II, and III of the Pimsleur Russian program. We'll see how that goes.