babushka and dadushka

I'll spare you some of the ugly times we experienced at the customs when entering into USA but it certainly wasn't a short process. However, what kept my overly tired boys going was the knowledge that they would soon meet babushka and dadushka! They had seen their pictures in our photo album and always wanted to identify them.

Well my father had arrived when the plane landed and waited an hour and a half for us then decided that we must have missed our plane and returned home. So he was certainly suprised when I called asking for a ride home in his van. Ruslan and Valik waited as best they could. The pointed at every woman walking around the airport saying "babushka?" Finally they arrived? Two little kids sprinted down the aisle and lept into their arms. I could tell how happy my mother and father were to meet them. Dad gave each of them a pair of sunglasses, which they had been asking us for since Lugansk! A big hit! They even wear their glasses to bed!

Arriving home was so much fun. They wandered around our house amazed at the size of it. I thought they'd fall right to sleep, but no. They are so curious about everything. Nick and I gave them a bath and got them into their pajamas hoping that would help get the idea into them. Then little Valik found my closet and came out to entertain the family dressed in my high heels. We finally got Ruslan and "Valentina" to lie down and end our arduous day of travel.

McDonald's is NOT Their Kind of Place

Yulia had given us directions to get to a nearby McDonald's. We thought that would be a special treat for the boys and be a welcome change in our diet.

It turns out they had no idea what McDonald's was. I figured they would know french fries, since we had eaten them in Ukraine. But I guess living in a small town like Lutugino, McDonald's and fries were a mystery to them.

We got them bundled up for a walk through the snow. It went ok for a while, but Ruslan seems to get cold easily. He wasn't that jazzed about going to a restaurant in the first place. When he saw the entrance to a place we had eaten before (a small cafe in a supermarket), he tried to pull us in there. We said no, it was a couple of blocks further. He wasn't happy with that.

After about 2 blocks, he started complaining about being cold (though that didn't seem to be an issue when he saw a Playstation 3 display in a store window). He began to get more upset as we walked about 3 more blocks. He was literally dragging his feet. We kept telling him we would have already been there if he would walk normally.

Finally, after another block we saw McDonald's. But by this time, he had gotten sullen as he tends to do. He stood at the counter moping and would not order food. I ordered him and Valik a cheeseburger

Хеппі мил (Happy Meal). The meals for 5 of us came to about $25. Not bad.

McDonald's is a happening place in Kyiv. The restaurant seats about 300, and there were about 350 people there.

We got our food and headed to the one table we were able to find available. Ruslan was too mad to eat, and Valik only eats air, so the 2 of them sat for a long time, while the rest of us ate a McDonald's meal that we actually liked. We truly have been gone for a long time.

After about 10 minutes, Ruslan tasted a french fry which he found to his liking. That and the toy slowly brought him out of his shell. He finally ate most of his cheeseburger. We got Valik to try his. He could tolerate the fries but hated the cheeseburger. He began whining for morozhena (ice cream). We bought some McNuggets and said he could only have ice cream if he ate a nugget. Eventually he did.

The boys cheered up quite a bit after they got ice cream.

As we were preparing to leave, Valik got up and wandered to a nearby table where a family was eating. I chastised him for bothering them and the mom, a pretty red-head around 30 said something in Russian. I apologized that I only spoke English. She responded in pretty good English that she was happy to have my son play with her daughter.

We explained we had adopted and only had the boy for a few days so far. She didn't understand. I said he was from a Detsky Dom (children's house). Then she understood. She asked how we liked Ukraine. I responded, "Very much". She said, "Are you crazy?"

I said maybe I hadn't seen enough then, but I was enjoying it. Besides I like pork and chicken so was enjoying the food.

After a few minutes we broke off and headed home.

It turned out ok, but had not been the treat for the boys we had hoped. I guess American cultural imperialism only goes so far.

Yet....

The Great Patriotic War Museum

Well, after a nightmarish day like yesterday (1/17), we were due for a good day. And we had one, though the boys still were challenging.

Yuri took us to a museum commemorating the Great Patriotic War (aka WW II). The museum has both indoor and outdoor displays.

The outdoor stuff includes static displays of tanks, helicopters, airplanes, and even an SS missile.

The boys were able to climb into the cockpit of a helicopter from the Afghanistan War of the 1970s as well as the cockpit of a transport plane. I think the woman there said it was a DC-3, which seems odd. Not sure when that sale would have been made. I must have misunderstood her.

These were a huge hit with the boys even though it was c-o-o-l-d outside.

The museum is at the foot of a huge statue representing the Rodina (the homeland). It is roughly the size of the Statue of Liberty, or slightly higher.

The helicopter was the biggest hit. Especially since it has gun sound effects attached to the pilot’s trigger.

The boys were relatively good, though in their excitement they kept running behind the displays which was not allowed. One of the guards made a big angry display to get them to follow the rules (though it was an act. He was irritated, but pretended to be much more to scare the boys).

But running around outside was very good for them. The interior portion of the museum was more challenging. As usual, Ruslan was pretty good though not perfect. Valik was loud, defiant, and kept running away.

Still, we were able to take in a good bit about the battles against the Nazis in Kyiv. We were not able to go up into the statue as it was closed since there had been a few suicides there.

The boys, as well as Nancy and I, enjoyed climbing on the tanks of love, or whatever they call it. Colin was disgusted that hippies had apparently invaded Ukraine, though in a way he was glad to see they are not only in the US.

We had a very cold walk back up the hill to make a brief visit to a very old (~1000 years) Orthodox church. The boys bought a candle and put it in their display (I don’t know the terms, as I don’t know anything about rituals). Nancy and I bought 2 hand-painted icons (of Jesus and Mary). They were painted by the local monks. We got them for about $25, which is less than the frames would have cost back home.

After, we wanted to tour more, but given the cold, we felt it best to head back home.

We had intended to go to the TGI Fridays nearby to get some American food. But we decided it would be too late to get the boys to bed. Instead, we cooked some food and watched Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer with the boys. They liked the way we sang along with all the songs and hummed along as if they knew the tunes.

We are beginning to see that these boys need activity to burn off lots of energy. It’s amazing the amount of energy Valik has given that the boy does not eat.

All in all, a good day, and an answer to prayer after the previous day’s nightmare.

Catch Up #4: Final Adoption Steps in Kyiv

We got to our new flat in Kyiv, and threw our bags in. I took 10 minutes to shave and clean up a bit, but there was no time to unpack or shower.

We scrambled off in moments to the American Embassy, leaving Colin and Claire at the homestead.

I have to admit, it was nice to be on American soil, if only briefly, and not feel self-conscious about speaking English.

Ruslan and Valik really enjoyed the security check, especially being wanded for metal. I don't think they knew what was going on, but they thought it was cool.

I miss my workouts at home. The door there must have about 3 inches of glass, and was hard to open.

The people there were very nice and helpful. Nothing like the typical bureaucrat. They went over each form I had to fill in in detail and gave me a new one without grumbling when I made a mistake. Kudos to the State Department (FYI: this was pre-Clinton tenure).

They also were flexible in setting a Visa appointment for that afternoon. We were trying to get our medical exam that day and return, but were unsure of the time. They gave us a tentative appointment and said just to call if we could not make it. Wow. I've never had a government process work so well (and I don't think anyone who knows me has ever heard me compliment a government agency).

After filling out gobs of paperwork and paying $800 fee for the 2 boys, we ran off to some hospital that is blessed for medical exams. I think this means they are Western-trained, but it may be that they just have met some government standards. Not sure really.

The doctor was a very nice woman around 50-55 years old. I have never seen a doctor spend so much time in an appointment. We were there for about 1 1/2 hours.

Valik misbehaved terribly while the doctor discussed the existing medical records with us. He kept grabbing things from her desk and around the office. He pulled items off the wall and kept putting things like coins in his mouth. He would not respond to our requests or demands and laid on the floor when he didn't get his way.

However, when the doctor began her exam, he straightened right up. He obeyed all her commands and was good about letting her exam him. He did giggle a good bit. He is a boy after all. He also answered all her questions and did the best he could at identifying words and letters and counting. He can count to 10 and knew a few letters, but that is all.

Her opinion of him initially was quite negative, but as she did her exam and saw him respond she saw that he was not slow, just hyperactive (which we already knew of course). She was able to dispel a few diagnoses in his official (and quite sparse) medical records. She also noted a problem with his adenoids (a simple fix) and a curvature of his little finger, suggesting some neglect at an early age. We hadn't noticed that but it was consistent with what we know of his upbringing (which I would rather not go into here).

After his exam, Yulia (thankfully) took him to sit with her, and the doctor examined Ruslan.

His health is good. She was not pleased with his reading and math knowledge (which is to say, none at all). But it appears that this is more due to the education he has received so far rather than his ability.

She wrapped up saying that she didn't really see why we were adopting since we already had two children. She said that our biological children should come first before the new boys. Apparently, she shares the typical (so we are told) Ukrainian bias against adopted children. Obviously, we disagreed and said all our children are equal.

After the exam, Nancy and Yulia took the boys to the hospital cafeteria for some soup and barley while I waited for the medical package (required for the embassy) and paid for the exam ($220 for both boys).

The medical exam is actually for the benefit of immigration and not for us. They really just want to see if there are any communicable diseases and such (there are not).

Afterward, we returned to the embassy in time for our 2:30 appointment.

Again, the staff was very kind, while Valik was not. He kept pressing the call button for the staff, was very loud, threw himself limp to the floor, and yelled obscenities. It was not pleasant. (FYI, Ruslan was not perfect, but in comparison was very good).

We apologized to the staff for the names they were called. One woman came to the counter and told him in Russian that they do not allow little boys who use such language to come to America. I don't think he bought it. I guess he has seen American television. But it was a valiant effort on her part.

We had to wait about 20 minutes for visa processing which was good, because usually they only give it to you after 24 hours.

They came to the window with 2 sealed packets, one for each boy. We are to give these to INS agents at the airport in Charlotte when we arrive. They are to remain sealed. We then found out that the only copy of the medical report is in there.

Explaining that to the woman at the embassy, she offered to break the packet open and make a copy for us. Again, great service.

With that, and after a tired day, we were now finished with the adoption process in Ukraine and were ready to leave.

But we wanted to stay a few days to sight see in Kyiv, since we weren't able to at the beginning of the trip.

We went back to the flat to get cleaned up and settled in. After all, we still were wearing the same clothes we wore in Lugansk and on the train.

Catch Up #3: Overnight Train to Kyiv

01/15/09: We decided it would be best to split the boys up given our experience the prior night. Ruslan wanted to sleep with me, so Colin, Ruslan, and I shared a cabin. Nancy, Claire, Natasha, and Valik shared the other.

Of course, sharing the cabin only applies to the actual sleeping time. At all other times, the boys were moving so fast between one cabin and the other that I think they actually bent the laws of time and space and coexisted in each simultaneously once or twice.

Ruslan and Valik wanted the upper berths down and moved up and down every 30 seconds, then back and forth to the other cabin. Meanwhile, Colin, Claire, and I would sneak bites of chips and sips of Coca Cola Light while the boys weren't looking (else there would have been constant begging for some for them). That may not be completely fair, but they are little, and I say Rank Has Its Privileges.

[As wild as our ride was, it was still tame compared to Natasha's New Year's Eve train to Kyiv. The festivities apparently went on long and hard to the extent that the woman who sells track in the cabins got extremely drunk and threw up. Glad we missed that one.]

We decided to try to get the boys to bed as early as possible, so we went at about 6pm to the dining car. Then the fun began.

The dining car was about 8 cars away from ours. That means we had to navigate through about 48 doors and cross 8 car junctions. That is a challenge as the little catwalk is narrow and the gaps at the side are big enough for the boys legs to slip through. And then, the cars turn opening and closing the gaps, and potentially crushing little legs. OSHA would have a field day.

We started off well for about 3 cars. But then Valik decided he no longer wanted to hold hands. He refused to do so, and then started yelling and flopped down on the floor of the car. We sent Colin, Claire, and Ruslan along with Natasha, while Nancy and I returned to our cabin with Valik screaming all the way.

Nancy held him tight for about 10 minutes. That calmed him down (though he hates it).

We returned and ate a very messy meal. I had a very good pork chop. Valik, as usual, would not eat at first, but eventually ate a few bites.

We split the boys up for the evening. Ruslan was in the bunk across from me. He kept playing with the volume on the radio and turning the lights on and off. However, after several admonishments, he hummed himself to sleep.

As before the train got horribly hot until about 1am. Probably over 90 degrees. Then they turned the heat off, so by the time we woke up at 6am, it was almost comfortable. Other than a few bathroom emergencies, it was pretty uneventful.

We arrived at Kyiv at about 8:30am, caught up with Yulia and Yuri and crammed our bags and us into 2 cars and made our way to our way to our flat.

Catch Up Note: Last Day in Lugansk

I resolved to get up early and slip into Ruslan's room so as to not have him go into a jealous frenzy first thing in the morning.

Valik is a squirmy sleeper, and the bed we were on (where Colin and Claire had been sleeping) is very thin with about very sharp springs. Further, no one in Ukraine seems to have fitted sheets, so the sheet kept slipping off. And I am like the protagonist in "The Princess and the Pea" (or "Once Upon a Mattress" for you Carol Burnett fans) when it comes to irritants in the bed. So I didn't sleep so well after going to bed at 2am after completing my blogging.

Valik woke up at about 6am singing to himself. He likes to sing when he is happy. It's really nice, though I would have enjoyed it even more at about 8am. Before long, he realized I was in bed with him and we snuggled up for about 45 minutes.

We started playing the "Ya teb-yah loo-bleu" (I love you) game. He would say "Ya teb-yah loo-bleu", to which I would say "Eee Ya teb-yah loo-bleu", to which he would say "Eee Ya teb-yah loo-bleu", to which I would say "Eee Ya teb-yah loo-bleu", etc. etc. This wen ton for about 5 minutes.

Then he decided to wake up Ruslan. He left the room before I could stop him. I slipped in to Ruslan's room to minimize the damage. I was wrong. There was no memory of the problems the night before. He was as happy as a clam (and we all know that's the happiest animal in phylum mollusca, so I think you can envision it).

The boys are great in the mornings. Nancy works with them to make breakfast each morning, and they love it. One of their favorite things in the world to do is to make scrambled eggs. They take the shell and smash about half of them, but the other half make it into the bowl to stir. Of that, about another half makes it into the pan. But the eggs have been very good. I think they have a knack for cooking.

We spent a couple of hours packing, which was no small chore. We don't have that much stuff, but had been crammed into a small apartment for a month, with a tiny washer, and no dryer. Things just migrate around the place, so collecting them took a while.

Nancy left for a couple of hours, and honestly I can't remember where. I think she went to look at furs with Natasha and Claire, but can't recall. I like to block that sort of thing from my memory. Meanwhile I took care of the boys.

We tried reading the grinch, going over the Disney English book, and stuff like that. there were a few incidents but not too bad. I recall Natasha calling to ask how things were (she had been staying in a separate place since returning from Kyiv for New Year's / Christmas). and telling her there had been a few incidents, but all told the boys were doing well and behaving pretty well. And that was true.

But as the day went on, things wore down. We were mostly done packing, but still somewhat preoccupied since we had to get to the train station for our 4:40pm train to Kyiv. The boys began shouting and kicking at each other, taking offense and swinging fists at each other for minor things, and we found out more about Valik's gift for speaking in tongues (that's the nice way to put it). By the time Nancy got home, I was worn out. She took the boys out to take out trash (one of their favorite pastimes) and to go on the swings. that gave me a chance to finish the final packing details and get a bite to eat.

After that, I had to get cash to pay Peter and Sergei for the past week's driving as well as for the train ticket to Kyiv. I got about $500 worth of hryvnia at 8.50 to the dollar. I also got a few last minute groceries to take with us on the train. Unfortunately, I forgot that we needed to pay Peter for the train tickets he had picked up the prior night while we had our going away party at the orphanage. The train had been sold out, but they were able to speak to the station manager who just happened to have a couple of sleeper cabins reserved. We got two cabins (4 beds each) for $260 (a fair amount above the going rate, but greatly appreciated nonetheless).

So I didn't have enough hryvnia to pay Peter all I owed him, but I just worked out the difference and paid him in dollars. I also paid Nikolai for 15 days at the flat at $75 / day.

All in all, we have been spending about $150 - 160 a day between lodging, food, and transportation. Food has been less expensive than expected, lodging a bit more (versus about $60 we had expected) and transportation about $50-60 a day (versus about $30-40 expected). Fortunately, we brought more money than we thought we would need.

Nikolai and Nadia dropped by to collect their money and to say goodbye. They were great with the kids, though I think they were a bit shocked by their behavior. The boys had been cooped up in the flat most of the day and were getting more and more moody. When we took our good-bye picture, Ruslan was in a mood and refused to get in the shot.

We gave our little birch Christmas tree to Nikolai and Nadia and invited them to stay with us in Charlotte should they ever visit. They are the nicest couple. Especially Nikolai, who seems like the nice next door neighbor who would have visited Mr. Rogers in the Land of Make-believe. We were glad to avoid an issue with their gift as we were concerned that Nancy might have inadvertently given them the Christmas gift I gave to her (meaning Nancy). I bought her a little art-decoish / arts & craftsish candlestick statue. We had it out on the table by the tree the day after Christmas. When he stopped by Nadia looked at it and asked (in Russian) what it was. Nancy told her it was a Christmas gift. Her eyes got big and she called Nikolai, and they said "spaseeba". Nancy smiled and nodded. I suddenly realized they must have thought it was a gift for them, but didn't have enough Russian to explain the situation at the moment. We had been living in dread that they would want to keep it. Fortunately, all seemed ok in the end.

We gave Peter (who is Nikolai and Nadia's son, as well as one of our drivers) a Carolina Panthers cap as well as an LED flashlight. We had to explain to him who the Panthers were (and after their drubbing by Arizona, I don't think we were at risk of him finding out who they were otherwise). We gave Sergei a Gerber all-in-one pair of pliers (you know, the Swiss army knife type of thing).

At about 3:45, we began loading the car, finally leaving at about 4:15. I was worried about making the train, but we were able to make it on board with about 5 minutes to spare. The only thing I had wanted to get but could not was a show of the Lugansk train station.

No matter. We got our bags put away, just in time to head off to Kyiv.

[Again, pictures will be added later.]

Catch Up Note: Arrival in Lugansk

We crammed into 2 cars to go from Lutugino to Lugansk (Sergei, Nancy, Me, Ruslan, and Valik in Sergei's car; Peter, Colin, Claire, and Natasha in Peter's). We had arranged to meet the MacDonalds' at New York Pizza (in the basement of the Lugansk City Centre mall), a favorite of the MacDonalds, for dinner.

The boys started started out very talkative. They spoke to Sergei since he could understand. They were very excited, but still somewhat worried we were taking them to America to kill them (this came up once during the ride). It is terrible that this rumor goes around, but I have heard of it in several blogs I have read. But be real, if I were going to kill someone, I wouldn't spend $30K to do so.

They started to get more quiet, mainly because the road to Lugansk is very dark and there wasn't much to look at. They were fascinated by the graphics on Sergei's radio, so that provided some entertainment.

We eventually saw Peter's car ahead of us. So Valik started yelling "Natasha!" as loud as he could, as if she could hear us from 100 yards away, and with all the windows closed. Speaking of windows, they did like rolling the windows down, but were pretty good about rolling them up when we started moving.

We arrived at New York Pizza just in time to meet the MacDonalds. We ordered several pizzas and juice. They were very excited about that. They also enjoyed meeting all the MacDonald kids. They were relatively good during dinner, at least if we held them. Except that Valik has absolutely no fear of strangers and kept striking up conversations with people at other tables. Fortunately, he is very charming when he does this, so no one seemed to mind. Of course, we head it off as soon as possible too.

After about an hour, Valik was beginning to melt down, so we decided it was time to head out. Valik walked around the restaurant saying "Da svedaniya" to each table, and to those at the nearby store. he also swiped some (fortunately, complimentary) candy from a jar in a store, but the clerks said it was ok.

Colin and Claire went with the MacDonalds back to our flat, while Nancy, Ruslan, Valik, and I waited for Peter to drive us back. While we were waiting, the boys decided to ride the escalators over and over. That was fine, until Valik fell down on the up escalator. He fell down about 4 steps. Fortunately he was wrapped up so tight in his shirt, sweater, coat, hat, and scarf (think Randy "I can't put my arms down" from "A Christmas Story"), that he just rolled down, and there wasn't a scratch on him. Still it gave us all quite a scare for a moment. He just stood there catatonic for a minute, then snapped back, and rode again. I took one picture, but then was scolded by a security officer for taking a picture in their facility, so I put it away.

Then, all of a sudden, Ruslan starts jumping up and down, yelling "Pee-sit", so we had to find a bathroom ASAP. Ruslan, like most children never has to use the bathroom until it is suddenly an emergency. Since we were in a mall, we were able to get directions "Gdye tooalyet?" to a bathroom and all was well. Crisis averted.

Peter pulled up soon after and we rode back to the flat for the last time. We said our goodbyes to the MacDonalds, and discussed details of making on on-going contribution to the orphanage through them.

The boys were very impressed with the flat, and ran around excited for about 45 minutes. Then as a special welcome home treat, we put on the DVD of "How the Grinch Stole Christmas". You will recall we had read that to them on the second day at the orphanage. They remembered the story and enjoyed it immensely, even though they could not understand it.

[Ruslan has "read" this story to me several times. Actually, Ruslan can barely read. In this case, he just looks at the pictures and tells the story in a very dramatic voice about the "Gdintch". Its funny. i have no idea what he is saying, but every page has him saying "shoo-shoo-shoo" in a very sing-song voice.]

Then came the long negotiation of who sleeps with whom. We had not intended to do this though. We put the boys in the living room, with Valik on the sofa and Ruslan on two chairs pushed together. Well the boys were a couple of monkeys, and kept yakking and playing and pushing the chairs over to the sofa. Then they would come bounding out of the room with one excuse or another. We used to go through this with Colin and Claire a lot. The first few times, we are very nice about reminding them that it's bedtime. Each time they come out, it gets a little less pleasant in tone.

Finally, we decided to separate the two. Valik had been acting up, so we removed him from the room and put him in our bed. big mistake. I think Ruslan saw this as Valik being rewarded even though Valik had misbehaved. So Ruslan had a fit and started yelling. I have no idea what it was, but I don't think it is something you would say in church. After a bit of yelling, it just became loud complaining. Nancy went in to lie down with him and "shhh" him. He literally complained for 1 hour and 15 minutes (no kidding). Finally, he started sort of humming his complaint a bit softer until he fell asleep. Ruslan is a great kid, and usually pretty even-tempered. But he has a hair-trigger fuse. It seems random to me.

Eventually, after doing some blogging, I went in and slept with Valik. I decided I would get up early, so I could get in bed with Ruslan before he woke up so as to limit any further collateral damage.

Day 1 with the boys....

By the way, I still intend to add pictures to this and earlier blogs. However, that will have to be later. Each picture takes about a minute to format to smaller size (from 3MB to about 40KB for the web), so time is an issue. Sorry.

Pray for Patience...

I'll catch up the blog soon, but must jump ahead somewhat. I have been unable to blog as I have had no free time at all since the boys came home. The few times I tried to get on the computer, they were all over it, so typing was not possible. I have a few minutes now.

In so many ways the boys are wonderful. They are happy, want to please, curious, and energetic. They care for us greatly. Early mornings are always great. I know, too, that adopting these particular boys was God's will.

However, they have so many bad habits, are unresponsive to our authority, and tend to have tantrums. Colin's comment about foul language is absolutely true. I'll elaborate later.

It is not all negative. Please don't take that away from what I am writing. We have fun, and it is great to watch their excitement at so many things.

But I do need your prayers for patience. I notice that they are beginning to respond better. Unfortunately, my fuse also has gotten shorter. I am getting irritated far sooner than I did the other day, and don't want my attitude to show to the boys or to take away the joy that we have in this process.

Boys are back. More later.

Holding

Hi all,

I've discovered a new form of discipline that has been efective with Valik. It's called holding, and i read about this years ago when i was studying for my masters in special ed. Basically when a child is out of control, you take them to a chair and sit them on your lap and hold them until they quiet down. Now the first time I tried this, he fought me and yelled. But now after practicing this for a few days, it is amazing the positive results we've achieved. He quieted down immediately the last two times I tried this! Then we sit quietly for about 5 minutes and when he's done he rejoins the family and all is well. We don't speak each others language, so just quieting him has been real helpful. I'm trying to teach this technique to Nick, because he really knows how to push Nicks buttons. However, I don't have as many buttons to push right now. For example, I am not correcting bad table manners yet. I have more important lessons to teach before I get to that. I just have to remind myself that they are orphans who have picked up a lot of bad behaviors over the past few years.

When I hold Valik or Ruslan, I take that time to pray over them. I ask the Holy Spirit to send him peace and serenity. I also ask Him for our son to be obedient and learn English quickly. Stuff like that. You know, when it comes to bad behaviors, all the different techniques like ignoring, time out, holding, and all the others all have their proper place in child rearing. The trick is figuring out which is most effective. So as for me, right now, holding plus a lot of praise for good behavior works best.

love to all,

Nancy

In response to Colin

Hi, Mom here.

Colin is wrong, they make eye contact with us all the time. They look down and don't want to make eye contact when we scold them. This is fairly common and doesn't alarm me.
The boys have been very excited living with us. Yes they pulled the cord out from the TV because they didn't know how to fix it or something. we have talked to them about this through the translator. personally, I just think Colin has n't forgiven them for disrupting the TV. I tend to agree more with Claire's assessment of the situation. Does Colin really expect small orphan boys to behave perfectly? I don't and never did. I have faith that the Lord will answer my prayers and soon they will be a great addition to our family.

WE'RE ALMOST DONE

HI
Well we're just about finished here and I'm so excited! The boys (when they're not completely out of control) are very sweet. They do have some very wonderful qualities about them liked making theirs and helping with others beds in the morning, they always clean up after themselves, and they are wonderful at sharing. They enjoy spending time with us which is nice and are very quickly becoming a super addition to our family. I can't wait for everyone to meet them!
Love you guys,
claire

The first few days

Wow...

I really mean it wow...
These boys are a real trouble. I knew this would be hard, but wow. They cuss (in Russian) all the time, hit, throw things at each other and us, disobey, run away, talk to strangers, broke the TV connection in our last flat (ripped the wire right out of the socket), can't even make eye contact, make loud annoying sounds (they are as I am typing this), have no table manners, and always complain. They laugh intensely at fart jokes and jokes of a much more crude nature.

But they can be angels though. I see them behave better when someone speaks to them in their language. Some things have no excuse but this should get easier as time goes on. They behaved really well when we watched Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer on DVD. It was late and I'm sure that played a part but still.

So I see hard times ahead but I also know this is about as hard as it will get. They will just have to be locked away from the room with my Wii for a few months.

Sorry for the delay!

Hi all, we've got the boys from the orphanage and after much celebration and packing, we climbed into the train back to Kiev, only this time we needed two sleeper cars side by side.

Picking up the boys from the orphanage was like a scene from a movie. We brought them new clothing that we had bought at an open air bizarre and little suitcases too. The danced and swung their new clothing around as we showed them. Next they went back to their sleeping quarters and put everything on (and I mean everything, Ruslan returned with two turtlenecks plus a sweater, because I had sent two with him hoping he'd decide which one fit best.)

After gifts and flowers with the orphanage director we headed to their sleeping quarters and into a small delapidated classroom where we held a farewell party. I took pictures for the boys with their classmates who were all beautiful children. Before leaving to Ukraine my friend, Bob, warned me that whenever I go to the pet store I want to take all the cute animals home with me and that this would probably be worse. It was. If anyone is at all interested in adopting from here, they should hurry up and do it. These beautiful children all need a loving family.

After all the merriment, we returned to our flat in Lugansk. This was definately a riot. The boys ran around the flat saying "wow" about everything. Eventually, I went into my bedroom to change. There was a knock on the door and I turned to look and see Ruslan smiling at me. I motioned for him to close the door, and he did, only to return a second later. The door swung open with a loud "bang" and now both he and Valik were standing there amazed and smiling. I had to call for Nick to get them so I could finish dressing. Getting them to bed is a story matching this. To say the least, we finally got them to bed very late and everyone was exhausted, especially the parents. More soon.

Exactly one month since we left

It is 12:35am on 1/15, which is 5:35pm on 1/14. That is exactly one month since our flight left Charlotte.

It has been an exciting, boring, busy, frustrating, eye-opening, happy, worrying, hopeful, prayerful, and altogether wonderful month. We have our boys. They are already showing great love and affection as well as challenging us and throwing tantrums.

In other words, they are boys.

We Say Our Goodbyes to Lutugino

We got to the orphanage and had the boys called in. We had a new suitcase for each of them filled with a full set of new clothes. The boys were on cloud 9, spinning and squealing when they saw all the new stuff. They were so excited. I think they saw that the day to leave was finally here. I think their friends had been starting to wonder since we have been visiting for 4 weeks now.

We sent the boys off to change. Remember that they can't take any of their old clothes with them. Everything they had been wearing stays at the orphanage. While they were changing, we went in to see the director. We gave her an arrangement of orchids as well as a leather bound photo book. We had to sign about 10 final documents to get the boys paperwork complete there.

The director gave a wonderful speech to us about the children, her best and blessings and asked that we stay in touch. She said she could tell we were a good family and cared greatly for Colin and Claire as well as Ruslan and Valik by watching us interact. She then gave a gift to Nancy and me, one to Colin, and one to Claire. All had been made by children at the orphanage, so are very special to us. We got a candle in a nice festive arrangement. The candle is to represent a bright future for the children. She wants us to burn it one year from now to remember this day. To Claire she gave a small doll which she says has her (the director's) figure (It is round). She told Claire that as one of two females in a house with 4 boys, she would have a great responsibility. She gave Colin a Christmas tree as festive as his spirit.

We then gave her the gift to the orphanage. As is their custom, she did not open the card right away. But she got teary eyed and thanked us. She noted that their funding is always low, especially with the weak economy in Ukraine and especially in the local coal mining region. In addition, her budget is broken into different categories. She cannot use money from one category to spend in a different category. (In the Air Force, we used to call this different colors of money. For instance, we could not spend development money on travel, or travel money on operations. She has the same problem). She said she does not have enough money for sports equipment or games, so this gift would be a great help.

We also offered to make a small on-going donation on a monthly basis. She got very choked up about that offer. The monetary gift is welcome, but also expected. This was not. We told her that sending it directly was not a good option as we would not get a tax deduction for it (since they are not a US charity), so we could only send about 1/2 as much. Instead, we offered to send it through support to Bruce MacDonald's mission. We get the deduction, so can send more. Also, he has been trying to establish a relationship with the orphanage, but has been unable as he is Baptist and they are Orthodox. Hopefully, this will enable them to get to know and trust him so he can do even more with them.

After this, we took pictures with the boys and the director, and got our stuff together for the going-away party.

We brought cake, juice boxes, tangerines, and gifts to a classroom where Ruslan's group, Valik's group, and their supervisors were assembled. We had to keep it short as it was almost 5pm when we started. We passed out cake, juice, and tangerines to each child. This was also the only time we could take pictures of the other children, so we took a lot. Nancy took a picture of Valik with each child in his group (individually), and did the same with Ruslan's group.

Each child recited a poem for the boys.

Then we got the presents out. Originally, we were going to get each child a stuffed animal, but the director suggested we get a game for each group instead as it was a greater need. We found some good ones at the open air market this morning.

We got each group a game of "Tuectep" (Twister). We also got each group a small race track and cars (sort of like Hot Wheels).

Unfortunately due to the late hour, we had to cut it short. We got the boys and marched them out and received many blessings and well-wishes from the supervisors.

We buckled the boys into the car. They weren't too happy about that. Valik sat in Nancy's lap with a long buckle around. Then we drove off from Lutugino for the last time. The boys were ecstatic. As we drove past the orphanage, they kept saying "Bye-bye" over and over. I don't think they were the least bit sad.

I'll finish the story and add pictures later.

A Whirlwind of Activity

Today has been non-stop action. In fact, it is not over yet.

Natasha went to Lutugino to work on the passport issue. She was able to secure us the old form passport. That was a big deal. The old form is processed in one day. The new form of passport (which is being phased in) takes 10 days to process if expedited. We were lucky to be in a district that still has a few old form passports.

While she worked on that, Nancy and I went with Sergei (our driver) to an open air market to get some last minute items for the boys. We bought a couple of sweaters and socks. We also found a CD of children's songs that the boys would know, 2 small suitcases, and toys for their class for their going away party.

Natasha called as she needed more signatures from me for the passport. She drove from Lutugino back to Lugansk to meet me and get the signatures, then returned to Lutugino (about 1 1/2 hour round trip).

I got a really good pork gyro sort of thing. Very messy and very good. Nancy got a pork kabob.

Afterward, we went to a bakery to get some cakes for the party. It was in the basement of an apartment block behind an unmarked door. We got two large, very nicely-decorated cakes for 130 hryvnia (or about $15).

I went home to clean the flat, to finish packing the boys things, to get the gifts for the ladies at the orphanage, and to get our monetary gift for the orphanage ($1000, $500 for each boy). Meanwhile, Nancy went to get some flowers and a photo album for the orphanage director.

Finally, we scrambled off to see the boys at 3:30.

Hurry Up and Wait

Monday we sat on our hands all morning. Natasha worked with the court to get final paperwork done to take the boys. We had hoped to visit the boys in the afternoon. But we got a call in the afternoon from Natasha of a new problem.

Supposedly, the boys were not properly registered at the orphanage, at least according to one office in Lutugino. So as far as this one office was concerned, the boys had lived on the street for 3 years.

Obviously, this was not the case. I am not sure whether there was missing paperwork, or an error in this office or what. But it added another day to the process.

We scrambled around from about 11am until 5pm from one office to another signing documents, waiting for documents, and signing others. Finally, at 5pm, we got to see the boys for just a minute. We told them we were working on documents and would be able to get them either tomorrow (Tuesday) or the next day (Wednesday).

Tuesday was the real mad dash. We got up early so we could get to the birth certificate office as soon as it opened at 8am. We got there a couple of minutes late and were behind several babushkas. As more came, they got ahead of us. They were not cutting in line. It turns out the office that does birth certificates also certifies death certificates. The death certificate is required for burial, so they get priority.

We finally got in after 1 1/2 hours. After half hour we left as they needed some documents notarized. Then we went to work on the woman who does passports. Back and forth all day from the birth certificate office to the notary to the passport office.

Finally, the day was over and we headed home. We never got to see the boys, but found that we should be able to get them on Wednesday.

We get the boys today (finally) !!!

Just a quick note as we have to leave for the orphanage soon (I'll fill in more later, and Darla and Paul I owe you a note as well, and will try to do so this evening if possible).

We are leaving for the orphanage at 3pm. We will have a party with their friends and then pick up Valik and Ruslan. Afterward, we are going for pizza with the MacDonalds.

Tomorrow, we leave for Kiev. More soon.

Another crazy day

Well, now I'm a parent without children. I legally have custody of Valik and Ruslan but am not allowed to take them with me until I finish more paper work. Have mercy! We finally finished the paperwork this evening except for the passport. More on that later. The good news is we plan on having a party at the orphanage and then leave with our sons tomorrow around 3! and if our passport plans works correctly, then we plan on leaving beautiful Lugansk for Kiev on Thursday. Wow!

Okay, there are two types of passports we can get for the boys to take them home. One passport (the newest and most common) is already paid for and takes as much as 10 working days to receive. The other costs extra but we can get it right away. Can you guess which one we are getting? I'll bet you can.

We are looking forward to returning to Kiev. Even if we could return home immediately, we still want to extend our stay long enough to sight see a little. We didn't get to site see during our first trip to Kiev, so we don't want to leave without some of the culture. I want to see a Cossack dance!

Waiting and praying for pick up

Hi,

Well, we might have another delay on the pick up time. It all depends on the director and what she will do. Tomorrow is when the office for reissuing birth certificates is open and we need that to officially get the boys. I can't wait to bring them here with us! I want to see their shining faces when they enter our flat and see all the clothing we have for them. "Wow!" is what I'm sure they'll say. But if we must wait, then God is in control for a reason.
Nancy

Clothes shopping at a sub-freezing open air market

Peter (Nikolai and Nadia's son) took Nancy and me clothes shopping this morning (Sunday 01/11). We needed to get clothes for the boys since they must leave all their existing clothes with the orphanage. We hadn't realized that until shortly before Natasha left last week. We thought they owned the clothes they wore, and perhaps a few toys. But Natasha said the clothes are from a common supply at the orphanage and would be needed there. It is quite possible that they boys own literally nothing other than the toys we have given them.

Nancy got a tape measure last week and did her best to measure the boys. Of course, they are so squirmy that is not an easy task. But (we hope) she got some decent measurements; at least good enough to get clothes to last them until we get back to Charlotte.

The open air market was outside (of course) in an enclosed area. So at least there was no wind to contend with. But the dark closed area acts like a refrigerator. We were able to be there for about an hour before Nancy's fingers started hurting and we had to leave.

There were lots of women's clothes, boots (of course), men's sweaters, and coats. Prices were good although we now here there was a better one a couple of blocks away. Bartering is possible, but it was so cold we only did a little bit.

After we had to leave there, we went to a kids' store called CKA3A (Skazah), or something like that. No bartering in the store of course. They had a pretty good selection. Prices were higher though. But the prices on boots were much higher.

We scrambled back to a toy store in the Lugansk City Centre (a mall) and got some cheapo snow boots (about $15) Nancy had seen. We don't need them in Charlotte, so saw no value in paying more. They only need to last 2-3 weeks. The next price level up was $50.

We bought 110 size (5 year old) for our 7 year old Valik), and 122 size (7 year old) for our 10 year old (in 2 weeks) Ruslan. We have not yet tried them on the boys, but they look about right if not too big.

In all we spent about $280 for a full set of clothes for both boys. I'll list them for educational purposes. For each boy:
- 2 pairs pants
- 4 pairs underwear
- 2 pairs tights (boys wear tights here. I guess that's why so many boys are willing to take ballet)
- 2 turtlenecks
- 1 sweater
- 1 pair gloves
- 1 heavy coat
- 1 stocking hat
- 1 scarf
- 1 pair pajamas
- 1 pair snow boots

Not bad for the price. We still have to get socks and toothbrushes, but we are just about set.

I started feeling worse, and so bowed out of going to church. Bruce took Nancy and the kids to a 3pm Baptist service at a dance studio in Lutugino. As I mentioned before, if you are not Orthodox, it is hard to get space for a church.

My temp only got up to 99.4, but my normal temp is 96.8, so it was high for me (no . Mostly upset stomach and bodyaches. Feeling better today though only at about 85%.

Natasha returns from Kyiv tomorrow. We begin the paperwork process to get the boys (either Monday or Tuesday). I think we can Monday, but we will be running around a lot, so need to discuss with Natasha. We are also thinking of throwing a little party for the boys classmates, but not sure yet.

Discipline steps up as we prepare to get the boys

We had several adventures with the boys (as Nancy mentioned earlier) on Friday (01/09) and Saturday (01/10). We had Gabby (as well as Colin and Claire) with us both days to help with translation.

We are slowly (too slowly?) ramping up our discipline with the boys as we prepare to bring the, home with us. We don't want to do too much too quickly as we think it (the change in our response to them) will confuse them. But it is becoming more and more clear that we need to be more strict. This began in earnest on Friday.

Early in the visit Friday went well. The boys asked if I was better (having been home sick on Thursday) and asked if I had gone to the hospital. We had a good time playing games, especially perennial favorites "Stop - Go" and "Hide and Seek".

Ruslan brought his car in because it wasn't working. It turns out that the battery pack had been removed. He didn't know where it was. At first we thought that some other kid may have taken it, perhaps being jealous of the car or of Ruslan being adopted. That is still possible, but Natasha (when we spoke to her on the phone) suggested that a supervisor may have taken the batteries if Ruslan was making too much noise with the car (a distinct possibility. That toy is loud). No answer to that mystery yet.

Valik also brought his, and we set it up on the one outlet in the room to charge the battery as it was very low.

I had Ruslan teach me some Russian words and I told him the English equivalents. He definitely shows more interest in that than Valik. I think Valik's attention span is too short for that right now.

While I was doing that, Nancy was working with Valik on the 24 piece puzzle. That was the first time Valik did that. He apparently needed some help, but did pretty well. Valik came running out to the stairwell where Ruslan and I were talking. He was very proud and pulled me in to show me that he had completed the puzzle. I think Ruslan began to get jealous (he had done the puzzle the other day). He began saying that Valik must have had help and he couldn't do it by himself. Clearly, he was getting jealous of the attention Valik got (though we had praised Ruslan before when he did the puzzle).

After that, we played Candyland. Both boys like to deal cards to us now, even more than they like to play. We did "one potato, two potato" to choose who would deal. Valik won. Ruslan took a playing piece, but did not want to play. He just laid on the floor, but didn't seem too upset. Just like we have begun to do with Valik on several occasions, we let him know he is welcome to play, but ignored him as he lay there.

He got up to watch after a while, and saw me get 2 face cards in a row (Jolly and Princess Lolly for aficionados of the game). He began a big speech where he clearly was accusing Valik of cheating (both boys have stacked the deck before, but that was not the case this time). Ruslan would hear none of it.

He started yelling at Valik and said he was leaving. He put on his clothes. We told him we would like to play with him tomorrow if he behaves. He walked by Valik's car, and knocked it to the ground, breaking the cable for the charger in the process. We should have stopped him right then, but didn't. I said "Da svedaniya". I thought he said "Da svedaniya, papa" as he slammed the door. But Gabby told us he said, "Da svedaniya, cacatchka", meaning "Goodbye turds".

She had pointed out earlier that the boys were saying some mildly naughty words like that, as well as stupid and such. We also heard from Gabby that Ruslan told Valik we are only taking him (Valik) to America to kill him. It is a horrible thing to say. But I also know it is a rumor that goes around in the orphanages. The kids (and I have heard supervisors on some other blogs) say that people are adopting kids so they can sell their organs.

I guess it is jealousy that does that. We assured Valik that we love him and Ruslan and are going to take good care of him until he is all grown up. He got kind of quiet. It's just a matter of time of course, but we have to build trust with them.

We resolved to deal with that on Saturday.

In the meantime, Valik was enjoying his brother getting in trouble, I think. He really brightened up. Bruce called Gabby around then and Valik commandeered the phone (but see Nancy's earlier post "Trading Places" for that). But he was really well behaved after that.

After the visit, we resolved to get more firm with both boys and give them a good talking to, and to be a little intimidating as we did so, in the future. I hate to sound wimpy in all this, but when you are caught off-guard and can't communicate one-on-one being a strict disciplinarian is hard. Nancy and I agree though that I need to be the bad cop as that fits their cultural expectations better.

After we left, we went to the MacDonald's house to watch a movie. They have a projector for their computer so we were able to watch a 7ft diagonal movie. We saw "Flywheel", a film about a used car salesman made by a church in Georgia for $20,000. This was the same group that later made "Facing the Giants" and "Fireproof". Production values were not what you would normally expect, but for a $20,000 film were amazing. The acting (with the exception of the wife who was not very good) was at least as good as most TV sitcoms and several were much better. Also, the plot had several unexpected twists and turns. Really a pretty good film and quite enjoyable.

We borrowed "The Last Starfighter" from them and left them with "How the Grinch Stole Christmas" which they had not seen before(!!!)

We returned to see the boys on Saturday (1/10). We took Gabby with us and decided to see Ruslan first. Not as a reward for his bad behavior but to give him some special time and also to have a talk to him about his behavior. then we would send Ruslan off and play with Valik.

Ruslan came in all happy and we played with him for a while. He likes to wear my watch (and is very good about returning it, thankfully). We played Stop - Go. I also pulled out a really good Russian to English book that Disney put together. It shows a little cartoon picture with an English word, the pronunciation of the English word if it were written in Cyrillic letters, the Russian equivalent of the word and a sentence. It is quite good, and kept Ruslan's attention pretty well.

Ruslan liked the attention and burst into all his gymnastic feats. He likes to show off.

We also gave him a little Matchbox car to play with. He had fun with that for a few minutes, and then ran off to get Valik so he could have his as well. We tried to explain to him that we were going to play with Valik later, but he dashed off. In a way, it was nice that he wanted to share with his brother, but we were not happy that he didn't obey.

He came back 5 minutes later, and we gave him his lecture. I stood towering over him and told him that we love him, BUT, we were not happy with his behavior. he was being disrespectful and disobedient. He must listen to what we say and obey immediately. Our job is to keep him safe and we can't do that if he doesn't obey. He smirked a bit, but was also chastened. I made him look me in the eye. He didn't take it perfectly, but after that his behavior was pretty good, so I think it was effective. There will be a lot more of this. Probably every day for a while as we establish authority.

Valik showed up and we played more of the same. We played with the little cars, and Hide and Seek. We showed the language book to Valik. He was somewhat interested, but it didn't keep his attention for as long.

We also showed the boys how to juggle. They were marginally interested, but mainly wanted to play catch. After a few minutes, the director's assistant came up and told us we would have to play outside as the boys were too loud.

We got a sled and dragged the boys around for a bit. But after about 20 minutes it was too cold for the boys and we went back in, promising to stay quiet.

Both boys did the puzzle and we cheered for both. They are improving in their puzzle skills.

I carried Valik around on my shoulders and asked him various words. I asked him the word for cat. At first he said kohshka (the correct word). Then he tried to trick me by saying kakatchka (or something like that) which means turd. He thought I wouldn't know. I told him right out that those words are not allowed. He giggled and kept starting the first syllable. I caught him again and pulled him off my shoulders. And set him down on the sofa. He tried to get out, but I put him back. I gave him a lecture on bad words.

He stood up and pulled on his coat and stormed out. We decided to let him leave. After about 30 seconds, he came back and behaved well the rest of the visit.

So, as you can see, we are slowly ramping up the discipline. It is still less than they need, and less than we normally would do. But the amount they need would be too sudden a change.

And we are beginning to see the results. I think it will work. Their behavior is beginning to improve.

Now who would have thought you could find truth in "Pravda"?

Students of the Cold War will recall that "Pravda" (the Russian word for "truth") was the official mouthpiece of the Communist Party in the USSR. The newspaper is still around and still presents the news from the Russian point of view.

I was poking around on their website (www.english.pravda.ru) tonight. Amidst the articles on why Russia's power is ascending, why US power is in decline, and why Ukraine is nuts I found this article: "Why God Didn't Have a Beginning?".

Students of apologetics will recognize this argument, but some of you may not have seen this before. But most interesting of all was finding it in the pages of Pravda.

There is some truth after all....

Orthodox Christmas and a day to relax

Wednesday, 01/07 was Orthodox Christmas. The orphanage was closed for business that iday (o.e., no visitors) so we stayed home. Originally we intended to go to an Orthodox service, but quite honestly, we just vegged out that day. We also were still trying to warm up from our walk home in sub-zero weather the night before. We watched lots of "24" (wrapped up Season 4) and "Mystery Science Theater 3000". We also saw bits of various kids movies in Russian, like "Ratatouille". And for a real treat saw "Blue Lagoon". You know Brooke Shields seems a lot more intelligent in that movie when you can't understand what she says. Not much else to say.

(Hi, Nancy here, and I'd just like to state for the record that I turned off Blue Lagoon as the two young teens awakened to their sexuality! I know it is a best selling book and all but Hollywood over glamorizes this stuff and I turn it off.)

On Thursday, 01/08, I stayed home as I was sick. Not real bad off, but enough that I was worried I would get worse. Just a simple head cold. Got over it soon enough. I spent the day trying to format pictures and post on the blog. Got to catch up soon....

Christmas Pageants

On Monday and Tuesday (1/5 and 1/6), we got help from two of the MacDonald kids. Gabby (16) helped out on Monday, followed by Ben (17) on Tuesday. Both are really nice and were very helpful to us. Both are planning on joining the Army after they finish high school. And let's face it, without MacDonald kids in the Army, the US fighting forces would be down by about 25%.

On Monday we started playing with Ruslan and Valik. But after a few minutes, Ruslan heard music downstairs and pulled me down with him. There was yet another Christmas pageant. This time, it was for the middle schoolers. But they also were wearing costumes (including pig, Batman, and chicken) just like the kids. Ruslan can not resist watching a performance, so we watched that one while he sat on my lap.

After that, we went back upstairs. We played more Hide and Seek and had Ruslan put together a 24 piece puzzle of a cat and mouse. He is slowly getting better on puzzles, but is just starting to figure them out.''Nancy, Colin, and Claire played with Valik most of the time, while I played with Ruslan (though we both played with each of them of course).

Ruslan was very affectionate today and wanted to hide with me while we played Hide and Seek.

On Tuesday, we returned with Ben to help out. Ruslan was first again as Valik was having a nap. He arrived after about 1/2 hour looking very dazed. We thought at first it was because he had just woke up. However, I think he was a little bit sick. He was very cranky and unenergetic the whole day. His eyes were a bit glassy too, but he had no fever, fortunately.

We were playing with the boys, when Ruslan suddenly said something and dashed off. He was supposed to be in a Christmas pageant. He returned a few minutes later in pink tights and pig costume. We took Valik downstairs to watch the Christmas Eve pageant.

This one was very long (almost 2 hours). it started off interesting as they were showing traditional Ukrainian dinner celebration and recognition of the icons.

After that though, it was a procession of every kid there (about 60) reciting one at a time. This was too long for me, and the kids were getting squirmy as they wanted the candy that was coming at the end. They straightened up though when the regional director arrived.

Valik had a tough time though. His group wasn't in the pageant, he was bored, and not feeling well. he kept trying to sneak out, but the hall monitor (a little girl about 9) kept barring the door, at least when he got past me. We consoled him as well as possible.

After the show we headed out. We decided to go out for dinner and went to Cem's Ctek Xayc (Sam's Steak House). Sergey dropped us off at about 5:30. There were only 4 other people there (in a restaurant that seats about 150). Billboard picture below.

I got a rib-eye, Claire got her beloved chicken caesar salad, and Nancy and Colin got a burger and fries. The food was good. Not amazing, but quite good. And the whole thing came to about $55 so we can't complain.

On the way out, I spoke to the coat check guy who spoke English well. I noted that we were very early for dinner and it was Christmas Eve, so I assumed that's why it was so empty. He said, no they get a good lunch crowd, but at night only get a few people after 9pm mostly. Business seemed pretty bad to me. The place is very big.

He had stayed in Kentucky for about 8 months. He also lived in Adelaide, Australia for about a year. Turns out he is a veterinarian and likes working with horses. We asked if he was going back to US anytime. He looked wistful and said he would like to, but cannot get licensed in the US unless he goes to vet school all over again. He said US only accepts college credits from UK and Australia. Seems dumb to me. I felt bad and apologized on behalf of US for the bureaucracy.

We went to a very nice toy store next to the restaurant. I found a few very nice books for the kids and most important of all - a deck of cards! They are hard to find in Ukraine.

After that, we bundled up for a 1 1/2 mile walk home. As we were driving back to Lugansk, the temperature was -7 F, but warmed up to about 5 F in the city. But it cooled off while we were at the restaurant to about -2 F (with a windchill of about -8 F).

We ducked in to a store about every 1/4 mile and were able to make it home, but it was getting painful. The odd thing was that Nancy was fine. Usually she gets in serious pain before I even get chilled. So we were glad that worked out.

Another Mystery Science Theater 3000 ("Werewolf") ended the day.

Christmas Service at local Church

On Sunday (1/4), Bruce picked us up to take us to church in Lutugino (about 1 1/4 hour round trip so it is much appreciated). The church is actually about 5 miles out of Lutugino in a smaller town still (but I don't recall the name). The church was an evangelical church (I think it is not aligned with any denomination) run by Pastor Roman (Roh - mahn'). I don't recall his last name. We met him briefly at Bruce's the previous Friday.

We had to stop at Bruce's house on the way to get his generator as the power had gone out in the local area (which apparently is fairly common). The church is in a small building about the size of a store. The church bought it a couple of years ago for about $5000. With some improvements they have made (and an increase in real estate prices), it is worth about $20,000. The neat thing about that to me is that a small amount of money can make a huge difference here.

It is especially hard (so I am told) for non-Orthodox churches to be established. Getting zoning approvals is difficult, supposedly due to Orthodox church complaints. But if you own the building already, it is easier to get approvals.

The church has about 85 or 90 members and seems to be full each week. Many of the members are at a rehabilitation center (for alcohol) that the church supports. Bruce told us there were several thieves and murderers there, but had all been changed as they gave their life to the Lord. The age range was well balanced between young families with children and babushkas and dyedushkas. The service was similar in many ways to an evangelical service in the South, but longer. A typical service is about 2 hours. This one was longer as the children did their Christmas presentations (recall that in Ukraine, they celebrate Christmas on 01/07).

Pastor Roman introduced our family and told them we were adopting 2 boys. The entire church prayed for us very vocally. It was really great.

We also got to hear a service we understood by chance. The service was in Russian (though Bruce translated for us). There was a visiting pastor (Terry Burns of Burns Mission) from Kyiv who gave the sermon (in English, then translated into Russian). He was Canadian, but we could understand him once we deleted all the "eh"s he said. Terry runs the mission at the link above, but also teaches 8th grade literature at the US - Canadian State Department School in Kyiv. Mom, I think you were looking into these for a while as I recall. Apparently the school is filled with kids of ambassadors (US and CN), military liaisons (US and CN), and wealthy Ukrainians. Terry and his wife are very nice and have invited us to dinner when we return to Kyiv.

The children's presentation was cute and has some very pretty little girls. As I understand it, in Ukraine, kids always have to recite some poem during Christmas, and then they get their gift. Here are some pictures of the kids (not ours. We can't take them anywhere yet).

After church, we decided to go to Bruce's for lunch and again ended up staying there for about 6 or 7 hours. Pastor Roman and Terry Burns and his wife were there as well. The kids enjoy visiting there as they like Bruce and Pia's kids (Claire really hit it off with Gabby, and Colin enjoys showing the boys all his favorite websites, like Legendary Frog).

Yet more catch-up (1/2 - 1/3)

Was feeling better yesterday (1/10), but feeling odd again today. So while everyone else is at church today (for a 3pm service), I am staying home.

Unfortunately, the days are starting to run together a bit, but I'll do my best to keep them straight.

We went back to the orphanage on Friday of course. We are now in our 10 day waiting period (which is 12 days since the 10 days ends on a Saturday). This was our first visit without Natasha there to translate for us. It was a bit of a struggle, but we got through it.

The women at the orphanage know what to do when we see them, so that is no problem. The boys were happy to see us. Valik thought his car was broken, but he just didn't understand how to charge the batteries. I saved the day on that one.

We got a 24 piece puzzle (with large pieces) for the boys to practice their puzzles. Valik was not interested, but Ruslan was happy to try it. He needed a little help (he still doesn't understand the concept of edge pieces), but he got it. He was pretty proud about that.

We played more of the same games in the same room. While they are fun, they are getting a little old to us. There are, after all, only about 6 hiding places in that big room, and they are all well known. Still, the boys like it (hide and seek is still their favorite) and so we have fun with them.

I bought several books for the boys a couple of days ago, but we decided to hold those for the train.

We are now in the slowly phasing in discipline and slowly phasing out presents part. But we see this as a couple month process really.

We also decided to only visit the boys for a couple of hours a day to try to keep them fresh and to minimize any problems. We also try to visit the boys separately when possible to keep the sibling rivalry down.

After a couple of hours, we went to visit the MacDonalds. We had heard of them from some friends and met them briefly on Christmas Day. But this was our first chance to spend any time with them.

They are (most recently) from Chattanooga, TN. They have been here for almost 4 years as missionaries (On Point for Christ) supported by several churches in their area. Bruce retired from the Army after 30 years as a Russian linguist then a recruiter. He and his wife Pia have 12 kids. 5 are in the Army with all in, or soon to be in, Iraq or Afghanistan. Their other 7 live in Lutugino and range from 17 to 1 1/2.

They bought an (unfinished) house for about $8500 a few years ago. There are lots of unfinished houses in the area that had been started in the 1990s (I think) when the economy was better. When the economy fell, the houses were abandoned and mostly sit empty though the ones in their area seem to be used. But there are hundreds of very large and nice houses in Lugansk that have been empty for years. They have done pretty well on that one since then though and are just finishing up the last room inside.

We ended up staying there for about 5 or 6 hours (and so did not return to the orphanage as we had planned). They have a tough mission here but are making some headway in town. It is difficult to make inroads as most in the area are Orthodox or atheist (or simply not interested). However, there are a couple of churches in the area that have welcomed their assistance. They also work in the summer with visiting teams and assist with a Christian camp. They also help raise money for local hospitals and schools and run eyeglass clinics for locals which are very well received. From the comments of others I have heard as well as their relationship with the mayor of Lutugino, I think they are making good headway.

They certainly are doing a good job with their kids. All are intelligent, polite, and well-behaved. We had a great visit and intend to go to church with them on Sunday.

Saturday (1/3), I saw lots of babushkas outside our front door. I thought they were here to yell at us for Colin and Claire not buttoning their coats all the way. But as it turns out there was a funeral right outside our front door. A woman on the first floor of our building had died we found out. The tradition here is to have an open casket service outside the home of the deceased, then process to the graveyard. As Nancy mentioned earlier, the funerals often involve lots of drinking as with all the atheism in the country, they don't have a lot of hope for the deceased or for themselves.

We weren't sure of the proper etiquette, but did not think it would be appropriate to walk right by the casket while services were going on, so we waited. But I did take a few surreptitious photos from our window. So at the risk of being crass, I will post those. I hope this doesn't bother anyone.