Why Ukraine?

As we began the adoption process, several people asked (and we asked ourselves), why adopt from Ukraine? After all, we have no family ties here.

In many ways, I can honestly answer, I don't know. We felt God was leading us to be here.

Nancy fell in love with a picture of a round faced little boy here.

We like that we choose the child we want to meet instead of having the government choose him for us.

We like that Ukraine has a good reputation for taking care of the small children.

But what solidified it for us was when we stumbled across this video.

merry christmas

christmas was awesome! first we opened presents and all that stuff so that was fun and then we went to the orphanage and watched a performance and...unfortunately... they decided to pull people from the audience and strangely enough expected me to know the words to their little ukrainian songs and i was like...haha umm yaaaa...it was interesting but still kinda fun. but the good thing is that all the little kids were dressed up in costumes and v and sorry about just letters for there names but we arent aloud to use their whole names online yet ( the 7 year old) was a pig and he looked adorable!! and i forgot what r ( he'll be ten in january i think the 27) was but he was really cute too :). after that the power shut off ( while i was in the bathroom too...) and that was off from about 3 till 4 and so we walked down to the big christmas tree but i didnt look at it cause i was too cold so i dragged colin into a random building there but that wasnt much warmer than outside so i was like jumping up and down and doing stuff to keep warm and i think everyone thought i was crazy but... yaaa. anyways i love you guys and i miss u and cant wait to come back home MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!

Christmas

Christmas was very different this year. Since we couldn't get a real tree we got a interesting, light weight wood carved tree. It looks pretty cool. Maybe my dad could post a picture. Well, I mostly got DVDs. The Dark Knight, Iron Man, and Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (you know the newest Indie adventure with aliens, communist spies in America, and liberals looking down of conservatives for even the thought of the spies close friends of being spies themselves). Now on to adoption. We saw our candidates again a few more times. We get toys for them that are really for kids a few years younger, but since there are developmental delays in orphanages they don't seem to mind. It's fun to see their faces light up when we give them the toys. We play with action figures and they like to chew gum. Otherwise I've been at our flat. That's about it!

A Christmas to remember

Well what do you know, it wasn't Santa that visited us in Ukraine. Actually it was Father Frost (who dresses exactly the same) and his daughter Snow Maiden.

If you don't have a chimney, that's no problem because they will slip in through the window! Snow Maiden is all dressed in blue with white fur trim. There definitely were gifts beneath our little tree that no one knew who put them there, so Father Frost found us! [Nick: He must have done that for our benefit though, because he usually leaves presents on New Year's Day]

Afterwards, we dressed and hurried over to the orphanage where all the teachers and workers performed a play for the children.

R had treated us to many of the rehearsals the day before, but everyone was in full costume including the children in the audience! V and R were dressed as little pigs! Yes we took pictures, but unfortunately we cannot post them yet. We will try later. The silly costumes took center stage as each performer danced several dances.


A man appeared as a ballerina and danced to Swan Lake. There was a forest witch with an evil skeleton man, a white fairy and a chicken man who wished to someday be a sultan with belly dancers. Children cheered and clapped and laughed.

Here's a shot of the curtain call.

Then everyone was invited to the center of the room for Ukrainian dances. R ran over and made sure his whole new family joined. We held hands and circled, jumped and clapped. One particularly silly dance had us touching our neighbors cheeks, nose and ankles during the song. I noticed Colin and Claire were all smiles and blushing too. 20 years from now they will be glad they entered in rather than sitting on the sidelines. Hurray for R!

Perhaps I'm wrong, but I don't think anyone has showed up just to watch R and V at a school event before. V was circling with his classmates when his eyes caught mine. He lit up with recognition. Afterwards they proudly posed for pictures in their costumes.

Colin and Claire are delightful throughout this whole process. We were even complimented by the orphanage director about how good their behavior is! Claire finds a way to look fashionable in all this weather. Her long chestnut hair really stands out here. Colin's hair does too, of course. All the children admire their braces. They look forward to being bigger siblings. None were upset because the amount of presents seem meager compared to previous years. The excitement of the day was enough for us all. As it is supposed to be. Plus we love the pastries here. After all, there are no calories on Christmas. Colin and Claire made one urgent request for future vacations though. They want next time to go somewhere warm!

Merry Christmas!

Just a quick one with a few pictures. Lots of stuff to tell about the day and the great show at the orphanage.

Here is the little birch tree I bought at a local department store (Rossia). And presents of course. You can't find wrapping paper here so everything is in gift bags.





















This is a picture from the Christmas tree lighting ceremony in from of Lutugino city hall. The first shot shows Vladimir Lenin admiring the tree. I think this is such a cool picture.





















The next one would be even better if Photoshopped to balance the exposure better. It also shows Lenin looking at the Christmas tree while Father Frost (Ukrainian version of Santa) dances around the tree with the local children.




















And lastly, here is a picture of Jesu Christe from the wall of the orphanage. The photo is an original photo by R himself.

Finally, I hope that everyone has a very Merry Christmas (it's still Christmas where you are) and will take time to remember what Christmas is all about. Not toys, not family and friends, not joy, or even peace on Earth. But about the birth of Jesus, God in the flesh come down to Earth to be a sacrificial atonement for our sin. A free gift for the asking.

Merry Christmas everyone.

Day 5: Yes, Yes, My Baby Said Yes, Yes....

Well, there you go. We scheduled our meeting with the orphanage director and the inspector (actually the assistant inspector) to meet with the boys again. We left Colin and Claire at home this time.
Went to Lutugino (here is the entrance to town)....



....and to the orphanage...



We prayed a lot for this meeting. Of course, we wanted the answer to be yes, but as in all things, that God's will be done.

We got out of the house about 10 minutes later than inspected, then realized that we were in trouble due to weather. There wasn't that much new snow in the ground, but like most cities, the side roads are last to be plowed (and the main road we usually take was iced over). So it took us 20 minutes just to get out of Lugansk.

We arrived at 11:05 for our 11am meeting. Not that big a deal, but I don't like to have anything that might cause others problems (at anytime, but especially when my interest could be affected). But that was no problem. The meeting began about 15 minutes late anyway.

The director asked me how the boys were behaving. She of course has been keeping tabs on our visits (as she should) and no doubt heard reports from others around the orphanage. I was caught a little off-guard as I was not expecting any questions. I said we were doing well, especially as the boys and we got to know each other better, to get more comfortable with each other, and to understand each other better. And that we were getting along very well.

No doubt our translator improved my answer (she's very good about that). Nancy also said how much we like the boys and how we are looking forward to bringing them into our family. True, and a much better answer than mine, which probably sounded a bit clinical.

The boys came in to the meeting all smiles. We sat them on our laps and gave them some gum. We showed him the picture book of our home and school and family one more time to keep everything fresh. The director smiled at V and asked him several questions in Russian.

The answer? "Da"!

I'm not sure of the questions, but from the director's inflections and the length of the question, I'm pretty sure it was
- Do you want to go live with Mama and Papa in America? Da
- Are you sure? Da
- But the other day you said no. And now you want to go? Da

R was asked the question again. He said "Da" as well. We were very happy with that but not surprised of course, as he had been asking Natasha for the last couple of days when we could all go to America. He wanted to know why we couldn't go tomorrow. Natasha explained to him that it takes several days to get approval but that it would be soon. She said he should have a talk with his brother since he needs to agree as well. He said, "I know. I have been talking with him already."

Well, clearly the boys are both in agreement now.

We said our goodbyes to the director. She said we could now take some pictures of the boys, though we shouldn't post them on the internet yet (until this time, we did not have any pictures of them. We have been careful not to break any rules). We can also take some pictures inside the orphanage, though be careful not to include any pictures of other children as it can break the law.

That's a rather long story, but basically Ukraine does not allow pre-selection of children. This is to prevent any trafficking in children. If someone's picture were posted, someone might try to adopt a specific child, which could then be interpreted as pre-selection.

We walked out of the director's office and took a couple of pictures of the boys. Well the boys were both fascinated by our cameras. That's where the trouble began.

We let R take some pictures (though he hadn't quite figured out how far to push the button). He was doing his best to take pictures of us and the room which is decorated for Christmas. Many at the orphanage were practicing for their big Christmas play (quite a production. More later).


But there were also some children around and he wanted to take pictures of them. We kept telling him "Nyet" when that occurred. We also tried to show him how to turn on the flash so the pictures wouldn't be blurry. Then he wanted to watch the rehearsals, but we needed to go upstairs to the meeting room.

He gave us the camera and we went up. Well, then it was V's turn with the camera. But there were no kids upstairs, so he pretty much could do what he wanted.

We think that was the straw that broke the camel's back. All of a sudden R ran behind one of the couches and laid down on a bench with his head buried in his arms. He wouldn't look at, or speak to, anyone.

At this point, we had no idea what was wrong (the camera story we figured out later). We tried to coax him out and to see what was wrong for about 20 minutes, but to no avail. Natasha wasn't there as she had begun the process of getting the legal documents in place and was across town.

We decided to leave him there for a while to give him a chance to calm down. We walked to the other side of the room to play with V, who had great fun, though he knew something was wrong with his brother too. He was concerned as well.

After a while R came out. I gave him the camera and he took lots of pictures (with me stopping him only when a child was in the frame). He took a picture of the entire room, foot by foot. He likes extreme close-ups (like in Wayne's World). There are several pictures of my nostrils, a fishes eyelashes, and the letter 'e' on a plaque on the wall.

All seemed well.

Natasha got back. We told her what had happened and she asked R about it. In retrospect that was about the worst thing we could do (not that I'm blaming her. We wanted to know). But that brought up all the memories with him and he went back behind the couch.

Eventually, Natasha was able to get the info out between sobs.

He had noticed how we were playing with V more than him for the last couple of days. He said we always tell him no, but V can do what he wants. He said he knew we were there to see V and not him. That just about broke our hearts. It's funny too, because to us it seemed like we only slightly indulged V, but I guess to a 9 year old, who I'm sure is not yet secure in his relationship with us, that it seemed like a lot.

At first, he said he didn't want to go to America with us. Later he said, "I'll go, but not if V goes too".

Natasha explained to him that he was the big brother and needs to understand that V is little and doesn't understand things as well as R does. She also said we love him very much and want them both to be in our family. We have to play with them both. And it is hard for us since we don't speak Russian, so sometimes we don't understand what is going on.

He held her and sobbed a bit. He then gave Nancy a small hug while she gave him a big one. He let me hug him, but I noticed his arms were to his side.

It was time for his lunch so we said goodbye and he wandered off very politely. But I heard the door slam at the bottom of the stairs. A message to us.

We spent lunch befuddled, trying to figure out the reasons for what had happened (the reasons I mentioned above). We decided it would be best to meet with R alone this afternoon so he could have some special time with us. We also got him a couple of cookies and bought him a little airplane toy (which Nancy promptly broke). Our only concern was that V would get jealous. I can tell you that the language barrier will be a challenge. Fortunately they usually don't last too long.

Meeting alone was definitely the right call. R came into the room, huge smile again, and came bounding into my arms. Big prayers of thanks went up right then.

He wanted to watch the rehearsal for the Christmas play. We sat with him on the couch. I watched his face more than the play. He has such delight in his eyes. It was like when Colin was a baby. When we watched fireworks, I would turn around and watch him. It was a better show than any fireworks display.

I went upstairs once to get Nancy's purse. He came up within seconds and took me back down to watch the show some more.

We only stayed about an hour. But all was right with the world again.

We stopped at the market on the way home to get some items for dinner. We were careful to get milk (moloko) instead of kefir (some nasty buttermilk-like substance that I bought a few days ago).

I was getting ready to go to checkout when a woman walks up to me and says, half suspiciously, "What are you doing here in Lutugino speaking in English on Christmas Eve". I was a bit stunned and babbled something unintelligible (I do have a way with women).

She explained she worked with local schools and charities and works with several Americans in the area. She was very nice. We spoke for about 15 minutes, and she gave me the phone number of a local missionary from Chattanooga that I had heard of.

On home from there.

Now I had to go Christmas shopping.

I know. I had intended to do it in Kyiv, then in Lugansk, but the free time I had expected never arrived. I found a great gift (Whew!) and have one yet to come.

We watched "A Christmas Story" as we do every year. All the characters are great, but Darren McGavin really makes that movie. One thing I particularly like is all the sub-text in the actors who are not center stage. There are lots of levels in this one.

Finished wrapping at 2am (as usual) and settled down for a long winter's nap.

Day 4, More Fun and Games

Back to the internot (or detsky dom or orphanage) on Tuesday with Colin and Claire for more playtime.

Both boys are still very excited to see us. R shows it best. He has a smile from ear to ear when he sees us coming. He sees us from far off and waves non-stop until we see him. I guess he has been waiting for us outside. When he comes in the room to see us, he runs full speed and jumps the last 10 or 20 feet for us to catch him. Fortunately he is light. I guess I know how the Flying Wallendas feel. What a great kid. Of course, V is excited as well, but he smiles and hugs without barreling us over. His smile is much more mischievous.

Today's bribe, er gift, was a pair of rubber balls with eyes and tentacles. They also have a light inside that blinks when the ball bounces. You know, the kind designed to induce seizures. These were a big hit with both boys. Unfortunately, that night someone sat on V's ball and broke it.

We played another game of Candyland. It was interesting because V was the calmer one while R kept skipping to different colors. Quite the opposite of the first game (on Day 2). Still both were fun to play with.

We played more of the same games and began holding the boys by their arms and legs and swinging them. That is a new favorite, though my back is not too thrilled. It's a good thing they are small, or I would be laid up for a few days.

We went outside to play and had a great time. The internot has a large play area. One section is asphalt. When it snows the kids slide on it until there is a run of ice. they run and slide on that. There are 3 or 4 tracks of ice out there.

The kids did that several times. They watched me try it once. Then V saw my lack of skill and held my hand and slid backwards (like you do when teaching someone to ice skate). That was neat to see him want to teach me.

The kids love chewing gum. Nancy has them say "guhm pleez". They have learned that quickly.

Of course we played more hide and seek, hokey pokey, wheelbarrow races, etc.

We try to play with the kids while keeping the noise down as much as possible. The high school kids have a class in the next room. they are in the middle of exams and I know we are bothering them. One girl sees V and goes "Ay-yi-yi" like Ricky Ricardo. We just look sheepish. I'm sure it happens all the time with that many kids around.

As we were leaving, R leaned over to me and whispered something to me. I said "Ne znayu. Ye ne penimayu." ("I don't know. I don't understand"). I had him tell Natasha, so he whispered it to her. he said. "I want Papa to bring me a radio. The kind that plays the songs." You probably have seen them before.

Colin and I ran some Christmas errands that night in Lugansk. He got Nancy a charm for her bracelet. It is an icon of Jesus and Mary. Nancy wanted something Ukrainian, so that was perfect.

Thus ends Day 4

Day 3, Part 2. Colin and Claire meet the boys

After our meeting with the Director, we left with the boys for some intensive playtime to rectify the situation. Which basically means more attention, more candy, and fewer "nyet"s.

We introduced them to Colin and Claire. They hit it off right away. Claire says the boys are "adorable". Remember that both Colin and Claire picked these boys as their top choice when we were at the SDA last week (as did Nancy and I).

The boys really like Colin and Claire too, though they 1) still get their names confused (to them both names are babble so are not girl or boy names), and 2) can't quite pronounce their names. Colin can be Cohn, Cohlin, Clon, etc. And Claire can be Crar, Kaar, Clahr, etc. But they had been looking at their picture for several days and recognize them well.

We got the boys Spiderman action figures (Spiderman, Venom, Man-Spider, Doc Ock, and Green Goblin) and split them up between the boys and Colin. Playing with action figures with them is the same way Claire used to play Barbies. Bang, Bang, Wham (as one action figure slams into another).

We played more hokey pokey. Then, we played more London Bridge and Duck, Duck, Goose. Both are quite popular. The boys are very good about making sure everyone is picked in Duck, Duck, Goose as well as most games. They are emphatic about sharing. While energetic (to say the least), both boys really can show some good manners.

Since the boys had to go to lunch, we ducked out for the same. We ate at a nice restaurant by Lake Lutugino (really more of a large pond) just past some dachas on the east side of town. We were the only ones in the restaurant, and like most, the lights were out until we arrived. Even then, they only turn on the ones necessary for our use.

The restaurant really is geared for summer traffic at the lake with a sand patio and sort of tiki-style tables and huts outside.


We saw some men out ice-fishing on the lake. The lake is not totally frozen over yet though. It's a bit too early in the season.

On the way back we stopped at a hill where there is a large monument to locals who died in the Great Patriotic War (aka World War II). I'd guess there were about 1000 names on the plaques. The red crest on the spire (too small to be seen in the picture is a hammer and sickle).

There is a very nice 360 degree view from the monument. At least it looks like a great view in the spring and summer. It was a bit bleak (and cold and windy) today.

I finally got a good shot of the main building at the orphanage.

We got back with more gum and cookies for the boys (and some sort of small toy) for the boys. They came in just as happy as ever, with big smiles and big hugs for all of us. You'd never know V had said no to us just a couple of hours before.

R and V both come in carrying their bags with all the goodies they have received so far. All are neatly tucked into the bag. Anything that comes out of the bag goes back in exactly as it came out. (I hope they can keep their rooms as neat). They still have all the packaging for every toy as well. And no one else but the owner is allowed into their bag, including Mama and Papa.

We had the boys demonstrate their budding mime skills again. They love the attention. We couldn't get them to sing with us. Of course, they don't know our songs, but they seem to sing or at least chant some Ukrainian songs and rhymes. I think we have some performers in our midst.

We looked at pictures of our house and family again. They love to do that.

We played outside briefly, but it was too cold to stay long, and our afternoon visit was relatively short.

That was about it at the orphanage that day.

We got back to Lugansk and tried to find a good place to exchange some more cash. The government of Ukraine has begun selling dollars and buying hryvnia to support their currency. The rate changed from about 8.50 hryvnia / dollar (and over 9 hryvnia / dollar on the street Friday) to 6.50. We had seen that on Sunday, but that day the banks would not even accept any dollars. We finally found a place to exchange for 7.50 so that was pretty good. We didn't exchange too much though. I never have seen government currency support to work for long. Usually they end up supporting for a few days, using up cash, then seeing a resumption of the decline.

More cabbage rolls at the mall restaurant and we were done for the day.

Another good one, all in all, despite the early morning rejection. Of course, I went to high school so I already know how to handle rejection.

Moda Ukrainian

Remember what the Beatles said:
"The Ukraine girls really knock me out, they leave the west behind."

It's true! The women here are very attractive. Especially in Kiev they are also very slender. I asked Natasha about this (who is also very slender and attractive herself) and she said that Kiev women walk alot. It's true. Now here in Lugansk the gals are still slender, but not as much as Kiev. Plus they do all this walking in high heels! Stilettos even!

A note to my dear friend who offered me her fur coat before I left. Boy did I make a mistake turning you down. This part of the world has tons of fur coats. Even women who don't have fancy lifestyles have fur coats. When we get back to Kiev, Natasha will tell me where to find a reasonable one. Well see if I get one or not.

love to all

Nancy

Day 3, Part I: V's Surprise

It's getting late, but I need to leave you with some suspense.

Knowing we wanted to adopt R and V, we went to the Director's office on Monday morning. Today, Colin and Claire were supposed to meet the Director and get approval to meet the boys. We had not yet told Colin and Claire (or Natasha) of our decision. The inspector and his assistant were there. The Director was concerned about some of our questions from the previous day (word travels fast) about size, but went over health and academic questions. We tried to assure her these were not concerns, but were information we needed to know.

Suddenly, the boys were ushered in. The Director said a lot. I picked up about 3 or 4 words and figured out she was asking R if he wanted to come to live with us in America. "Da". More questions. Each time, an emphatic "Da".

She asked the same questions to V. "Nyet". More questions. "Nyet". More that seemed to be "Why?". Silence.

Without knowing fully what had been said, it was clear that V had turned us down. It sounded to me like the way a little kid (2 or 3 year old) will say "No" to every question. "Do you like ice cream?" "No".

But even if that is the case, it is enough to throw up a road block. The law requires that the boys must agree to be adopted. That's the way it should be of course. But we were definitely taken aback. Unless he was just playing around, we think it is because we disciplined him the day before. The inspector suggested we hold off on that. The Director said we should take a day and the reconvene.

More of Day 3 later, but it is 1am. Besides, everyone likes a good cliff-hanger

Day 2 with the Boys

Trying to catch up, I really am.

We went to the orphanage (or detsky dom) on Sunday, and had a repeat of our playdate from the day before. More hide and seek, more samolyat.

We also played "hokey pokey" and "duck, duck, goose". Duck, Duck, Goose is an especially big hit.

We got to see a bit more of the orphanage as we went to the sleeping house. We did not get to see their bedrooms, but did see someone's room. It is about 7' x 7' and has 2 very small beds in it, maybe 4' long.

The building is old, but they seem to do their best to keep it clean and in good repair. The floors are very worn and badly need some stain and polyurethane. They are bare, grey wood. The walls are clean and have been painted many times. I think the paint is literally about an inch thick in some places. Kind of like Queen Elizabeth's makeup. Most paint is institutional green.

Like most places in Ukraine, the lights are out unless the room is in use, and often out even then. They do not waste electricity. Often times in a restaurant the room is totally dark when we arrive, then a few lights are turned on for our benefit. I think they turn on the heat then too. The waitresses always look cold.

One high compliment I must pay is to whomever teaches the children art. There is a lot of student art on the walls and some is very good. There are lots of letters to Father Frost (who brings toys, as opposed to Santa Claus who is just St. Nicholas. I don't honestly understand the difference, but there is one). Anyway, the letters to Father Frost (from all ages) are decorated with drawings. All were quite good, many creative, and some excellent. I wish I could take some pictures, but they are forbidden.

We got to go to the pre-school (kindergarten) class where V attends. It too is very small, perhaps 12' x 12'. There are 4 rows of 4 desks with a passage down the middle. The desks are pushed together so there is just enough room to slide in.

At the same time, the room was neat and had plenty of books, maps, etc. though it looks like the material is old. But let's face it, not much really changes from year to year at that level.

Nancy did more mime, and the boys showed us their skills some more.

We decided to try to do more quiet things as well as we could to see how V would react. Honestly, at the beginning I was more worried as he was rolling around and making noise, and being very squirmy.

I brought "How the Grinch Stole Christmas" (probably my favorite book) to read to them. We decided it would best if I paraphrased the book (since the rhymes wouldn't translate anyway) and Natasha would translate.

So I would say things like, "The Grinch was a very mean guy who didn't want children to have fun at Christmas...When the Who's started singing he would cover his ears because he hated to hear them having a good time". Then Natasha would translate. I have no idea what she said, but it was usually about 2-3x longer than what I said. (Yes, I did get a bit choked up while reading this. Read Nancy's post for that).

Anyway, they seemed to be enjoying it (R definitely was). But about halfway through V began laying down on his desk and rolling around. I guess the story was too long for him. We decided we could not let him disrupt and so stopped the story until he could sit. After a staring contest, we decided he would have to go to his room if he could not listen. Then he wouldn't hear the rest while we read to R (who sat perfectly still the whole time). He sat pretty still after that, so we were pretty proud of ourselves.

One of the supervisors (women who are not teachers but handle most other activities) came in and said we could ask her questions. We barraged her with questions about his schoolwork, behavior, activities with friends, etc. She said he was a pretty good student, probably about average. He likes to stay active but is good with completing tasks when assigned. He also encourages others to help as well. She mainly emphasized he was a very good boy. And I must say that watching him with the supervisors and watching his behavior when he was packing to leave always bore that out.

We asked several questions about his size, and she said he was on the small side of average for the kids they see. That gave us a lot of comfort.

We finally introduced the boys to Candyland. It is a great game for little kids as it is very simple and colorful and needs no directions. And we brought a few pieces of candy for the winner. We play Candyland for blood in our house. Seriously. There is a lot of trash talk the whole game. Somehow, since Claire was very small, I always ended up losing in this completely random game. But that has become a source of fun for us.

The boys caught on quickly and followed the rules well. As always, I ended up at the back of the pack. V won, with R close behind. They got extremely excited (in a good way) as they got closer to the Candy Castle (the finish line). It was pretty cool.

Soon after, we had to pack up. More hugs and "Da svedaniyas" and we were off again.

As I mentioned yesterday, I was about 80-85% positive after Day 1. On the first half of Day 2 I was a bit lower as I was worried about V's behavior. But seeing how he responded to some light discipline made me feel even better. But I was still not sure. (Nancy was feeling positive too, but was less sure than I the whole time, but I will let her comment on that.) After all, it was only 2 days. But I definitely was feeling pretty good about these kids.

Claire wanted to go shopping since she and Colin had been cooped up for 2 days at the flat (since they could not yet meet the boys). We went to a small mall in town, but it was only open for a few more minutes. And like most shopping in Ukraine I think, seemed to consist only of black high heel boots and women's underwear (not at the same place of course. It's not that kind of mall). We left soon and tried to find a restaurant.





After about half an hour of ducking in and out of the cold, we finally found a restaurant ("X. O" I have no idea what that means, but that was the name). Quite good, and we all ate for about $50. Not bad for a full service meal for 4. I had some amzing pork with mushrooms and cheese.

It turns out pork is very popular in Ukraine (another sign I was in the right place). Apparently Ukraine has been attacked by Turks many times in the past. Each time, they would loot all the gold, silver, animals, etc. But they would always leave the pigs since the Muslims consider them unclean. But as Mom would say, "That just means there's more for me". So pork became a traditional meal. They do a great job with it.

Claire was pretty excited to find out that the restaurant had a "squat toilet". 'Nuff said.


As Nancy mentioned earlier, we watched Patrick Stewart's version of "A Christmas Carol" on DVD (we brought all our Christmas DVDs). Hearing Jacob Marley talk about "Mankind was my business", and The Ghost of Christmas Past speak of brought so much joy to his workers for just a few pounds was really getting to me. Then as we saw young Ebeneezer Scrooge let his fiance leave him while old Scrooge (in ghost form) was telling him not to be afraid and not to let her go was getting to me.

God speaks to us in many ways. I suddenly realized that I wanted these boys to come home. I had no more doubt. I told Nancy, and she agreed. We were ready to let the Director know.

More on that in Day 3.

[FYI, Patrick Stewart was excellent in A Christmas Carol, as he always is. I am a huge fan of Star Trek: The Next Generation and own all 7 seasons on DVD. Highly recommended. He gave an even better performance in his guest shot on "Extras", the Ricky Gervais series on HBO a couple of years ago. [If you don't know, Gervais is the originator of "The Office" on BBC which gave birth to the American version on NBC, which happens to be the best show on TV]. To see Patrick Stewart on "Extras", see Episode 6 of Season 1. His scene is hilarious, but is not for kids.]

Nick is such a softee

And the Grinch realized something he hadn't before,
Maybe, he thought, Christmas doesn't come from a store.
Maybe, he thought, Christmas means a little bit more.


I am married to the sweetest guy! Sometimes I forget how compassionate he is and then there are moments like these.

Two days ago, while we played with the boys, the supervisors let us inside a small classroom. It was very old, but not dirty, with litttle Ukrainian pictures on the walls and some of the children's art work. We decided to read a story outloud to them with Natasha interpreting. Nick read "The Grinch That Stole Christmas", but shortened the story to match their attention span (especially since we are reading to them in a foriegn language.) Well, the old softee said "the Grinch realized that Christmas was something more than just toys." And his eyes misted over as he thought about how these boys didn't have a lot of toys or much of anything really. Then his eyes met mine and he blushed while I giggled. Only Nick could get misty eyed while reading "The Grinch."

That evening we watched "A Christmas Carol," starring Patrick Stewart. It's a classic. When Jacob Marley said to Scrooge, "Business? Mankind was my business. The common welfare was my business." Nick was again touched to his very soul. Later that night (misty eyed again) he told me he definately wanted to adopt these boys and how they need a father and mother and how he would regret not meeting their need. So I reminded him that there are other orphaned children. Was he sure these are the very ones? He said "yes."

Now, to finish this story I must take you back to the morning before we left to visit the boys and read them Dr Seuss. I'd been having devotionals online, and almost every site spoke of the Christmas story and how Jesus' birth was a sign from heaven. Well, my very prayers had been for a sign to affirm my desire to adopt these boys was also God's will. And as I held my teary husband in my arms I realized my prayers were answered.

Day 1 with the Boys

Sorry for the delay. It has been a very busy 4 days. I'll fill in a day at a time.

I realize this is long (as it is a diary as well as news). You can skim it, or wait for the Cliff's Notes, if pressed for time.

Day 0:

We arrived in Lugansk (as I mentioned earlier). We checked into a very nice flat owned by Nikolai and Nadia. Nikolai and I hit it off well given our names (and that it was St. Nicholas' Day).

That afternoon, we went to a small town called Lutugino (loo-too-geen'-oh). At least that's the closest English spelling I can think of. The Cyrillic is

Лутугине.

It is a small city of about 80,000 about 1/2 hour south of Lugansk.

We met Friday afternoon with the inspector, a very friendly fellow by the name of Andre. I think I mentioned all this earlier. Here is the outside of the building at the main square of Lutugino.

So on to Saturday (Day 1):

We got to the orphanage ("Lutugino Internot" or "Lutigino Boarding House") at about 9am. They had had several parties for St, Nicholas Day on Friday, so the place was well decorated for Christmas. Unfortunately (but understandably), they do not allow photography in the orphanage so I cannot show them to you. But I do have one I took of the outside of the orphanage. It consists of 2 buildings (1 for bedrooms, and the other for schoolrooms and administration) as well as playgrounds.

Here is the building for sleeping.

We met the orphanage director at 9am. She was a pleasant lady in her 50s. Like the inspector meetings the day before, we mainly sit there with smiles on our faces while they converse in Russian with our facilitator Natasha. After about 5 minutes she turns to us and asks a rash of questions. Pretty much the same as before. She asked several questions with regard to our ability to afford to raise two additional children. Apparently, she was satisfied.

We were expecting more questions when suddenly, in walked R and V (as mentioned before, we feel it best to withhold their names until our court date makes everything official).

They are tiny little guys. We had thought their SDA pictures were a couple of years old (as is typical). It turns out, they must have been very recent. At 10 (as of 01/09) and 7, the boys could easily pass for 6-7 and 4-5. They both walked in as shy polite kids with huge smiles. They have blond hair, gappy teeth, and great big grins. They are buttons (as in "cute as...").

She told them we were coming because we wanted to take them to live with us in America and was that ok with them. They both nodded. We were a bit taken aback, as we thought it was a bit too early for that question (more on that later), as it would increase the trauma if we were to say "no" to them for some reason. On the other hand, they probably knew why we were there anyway, so I guess it doesn't matter. Anyway, what's done is done. So from then on, we were "Mama" and "Papa".

We sat them on our laps and pulled out the Lego presents. That was a huge hit. They opened all the bags and smashed a few lego pieces together. But mainly, they wanted to put together the Lego people and play with decals and the little guns that came with it. Not knowing the boys yet (and based on the suggested age on the box of 6+), we got Lego sets with about 350 pieces. That was way over their heads and attention spans. On the other hand, they loved it, so the gifts were a success.

We played together with the boys in the Director's office for about 10 minutes. Satisfied with our introduction, she allowed us to go into a common area of the orphanage with the boys to get better acquainted. Let's just say they feld pretty comfortable with us right away.

As Nancy mentioned, R (the 10 year old) is a very polite, very meticulous boy. He puts his things away neatly. Actually, he tried to put everything away exactly as he found it. With each toy piece back in its original slot in the marketing package. He talks a lot, is trying hard to learn English words (with a very cool accent), and is very polite. At the same time, he is very energetic and leaps (literally) into my arms every couple of minutes. I haven't dropped him yet, but since he gives no warning, it is bound to happen sooner or later. He can sit quietly for a long time as well when he must, and seems very diligent. He tries to take care of his things, and would not put his Lego set down (or let anyone hold it) on the playground for fear it might get dirty. He clearly gets along well with his brother V and I can see that they play, wrestle, laugh, argue, and fight. In other words, they are brothers.

V (the 7 year old) is a younger clone of R, though with a somewhat different personality. He is careful with his things, but not as much. He is demonstrative like R, but moreso. He has an incredible amount of energy. He got a bit overexcited the first day and did a lot of yelling (which was a bit concerning). But he also is loving, fun, and creative. He can sit still but for shorter periods (and he is younger after all). He does respond well to his caregivers so clearly is not out of control (in case you are wondering).

Both boys are agile. They do lots of somersaults and roundoffs. R can almost stand on his hands. V is better with the somersaults. They also like wheelbarrow races. So despite their size, they are strong.

We played Airplane (or "samolyat" in Russian) for about 2 hours I think. Nancy and I lie on our backs and put our feet on their stomachs, hold their hands, and launch them into the air. V will let go and make wings with his arms. R really doesn't. Instead he tries to do a handstand on my hands. I know we are going to bump heads soon.

Hide and Seek is also big. That was probably another hour. There were only about 5 places to hide in the room, but we mix it up as well as we can.

After these games, V was pretty wound up. He started leaving the room (which apparently they can do at will most of the time, but he was supposed to stay in while we were there). While herding him back up the stairs after one of his jaunts, he suddenly turned around and launched through the air down 4 steps into my arms. He knew I would catch him. These boys give me a lot more credit than I probably deserve, but I did get him.

The boys showed us around the room at the artwork of the students on the walls. Sometimes, it was to tell us the Russian name for Cat or Dog, or to show us the various Ukrainian symbols as we walk by each. V would point at each and say "Ooo-krah-ee-nah. Ooo-krah-ee-nah. Ooo-krah-ee-nah." as we walked by each. They also pointed out cossacks on the murals. Then they would count things for us. They like to show off.

When the ladies announced it was time to go, the boys carefully packed up their toys, gave us HUGE hugs, put on their coats, said "da svedaniya" and left. They really can follow a regimen when they know what to expect.

We ate lunch at a nearby cafe and discussed the morning.

We saw they were pretty cool kids and a lot of fun. The only real area of concern was V's shouting. Not continuously shouting of course, but very often. Need to learn more. We were hoping that a chance to calm down might make him a little less rambunctious.

Not really. The afternoon was a continuation of the morning. More hide and seek. More samolyat. More standing in the window shouting "I've got a papa. I've got a mama".

I don't mean to make that sound too negative. There was lots of very good behavior. But while both boys are energetic, V is in a class by himself.

One huge hit was Nancy's mime. For those that don't know, Nancy studies mime extensively in high school and is very good. She has one routine about making masks. She mimes painting the masks and putting them on and off, changing very silly faces.

Actually, we did that in the morning. In the afternoon, the boys suddenly jumped up in front of us and wanted to perform the mask routing for us. It was really neat. They both make great faces. R seems to do it a bit better, but V has more creative faces he makes.

We played for about an hour and a half, then repeated the big hugs, carefully putting away toys, putting on coats and boots, waving, and saying "da svedaniya". And out they went.

As it was about 3:30 and pitch black (we're 47 degrees north latitude and are at the far eastern end of our time zone), we went back to Lugansk.

It was a busy, tiring day, but great fun. We like the boys very much, but definitely want to see them in different environments to see behavior and hear more from caregivers and teachers. Still, I'd have to say I was about 80-85% sure these were the kids after the first meeting. Pretty good odds, I thought.

I'll catch up with Day 2 tomorrow.

My first visit

I saw the first group of orphans today. They are very active. It was intresting. Something weird though, many children have a developmental delay. They act younger than other children from a family. We were expecting this but it was still intresting to see. They, two brothers, are really nice. We got to play games with them like Candyland, Redlight Greenlight, and Hide and Go Seek. This should be fun.

hey guys

ya well for the past two days i've been in our flat most of the time and been sleeping and stuff so ya its not that bad. mom and dad have been going to see two boys that we might be bringing back with us and i am going to meet them tomorrow. thanks to those of u who commented in the blog ( ahem jamie) and i miss u and cant wait to come home. its tooo cold here!!!!!

Hello everyone. We are now in Ulgansk. My parents saw the first "contenders" last Saturday. Claire and I still haven't been able to meet them yet, but we get to hear what Mom and Dad say. So for the last two days me and my sister have just been home alone. While we are home, or at our flat, we just hang around, get on the computer, or read. Not much happening right now for me recently. Hopefully tomorrow we will be able to meet them.

opening and closing doors

We arrived in Lugansk after we decided to meet two boys here. I had prayed God would open windows and close doors. My facilitator inquired about the other two siblings we looked at and those doors were quickly shut for various health reasons. So it was on to Lugansk to meet R and V (abbreviated names for privacy).

Nick and I have met with them three times now and find them endearing. R and V are very opposite in personality. R is calm obedient and thoughtful. V is high energy and already testing us to see who is boss. Both children are unbelievably small and can easily pass for two years younger then their birth age. Institutionalization does delay their physical social and emotional development but the studies show that a loving family and proper nutrition catches them up remarkably fast, although not always 100%.

I wish I could send you a pictures of their smiles when they see us coming. Their eyes looked like saucers when we handed them lego kits at first meeting. R wouldn't put it down during playground time because he worried the box would get dirty. V reminds me of the Road Runner - "beep beep zip tang"! They are a package deal, so I must be sure that I have enough energy in me to properly parent both these boys. Please pray for our decision.

love to all
Nancy