It is 12:35am on 1/15, which is 5:35pm on 1/14. That is exactly one month since our flight left Charlotte.
It has been an exciting, boring, busy, frustrating, eye-opening, happy, worrying, hopeful, prayerful, and altogether wonderful month. We have our boys. They are already showing great love and affection as well as challenging us and throwing tantrums.
In other words, they are boys.
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
We Say Our Goodbyes to Lutugino
We got to the orphanage and had the boys called in. We had a new suitcase for each of them filled with a full set of new clothes. The boys were on cloud 9, spinning and squealing when they saw all the new stuff. They were so excited. I think they saw that the day to leave was finally here. I think their friends had been starting to wonder since we have been visiting for 4 weeks now.
We sent the boys off to change. Remember that they can't take any of their old clothes with them. Everything they had been wearing stays at the orphanage. While they were changing, we went in to see the director. We gave her an arrangement of orchids as well as a leather bound photo book. We had to sign about 10 final documents to get the boys paperwork complete there.
The director gave a wonderful speech to us about the children, her best and blessings and asked that we stay in touch. She said she could tell we were a good family and cared greatly for Colin and Claire as well as Ruslan and Valik by watching us interact. She then gave a gift to Nancy and me, one to Colin, and one to Claire. All had been made by children at the orphanage, so are very special to us. We got a candle in a nice festive arrangement. The candle is to represent a bright future for the children. She wants us to burn it one year from now to remember this day. To Claire she gave a small doll which she says has her (the director's) figure (It is round). She told Claire that as one of two females in a house with 4 boys, she would have a great responsibility. She gave Colin a Christmas tree as festive as his spirit.
We then gave her the gift to the orphanage. As is their custom, she did not open the card right away. But she got teary eyed and thanked us. She noted that their funding is always low, especially with the weak economy in Ukraine and especially in the local coal mining region. In addition, her budget is broken into different categories. She cannot use money from one category to spend in a different category. (In the Air Force, we used to call this different colors of money. For instance, we could not spend development money on travel, or travel money on operations. She has the same problem). She said she does not have enough money for sports equipment or games, so this gift would be a great help.
We also offered to make a small on-going donation on a monthly basis. She got very choked up about that offer. The monetary gift is welcome, but also expected. This was not. We told her that sending it directly was not a good option as we would not get a tax deduction for it (since they are not a US charity), so we could only send about 1/2 as much. Instead, we offered to send it through support to Bruce MacDonald's mission. We get the deduction, so can send more. Also, he has been trying to establish a relationship with the orphanage, but has been unable as he is Baptist and they are Orthodox. Hopefully, this will enable them to get to know and trust him so he can do even more with them.
After this, we took pictures with the boys and the director, and got our stuff together for the going-away party.
We brought cake, juice boxes, tangerines, and gifts to a classroom where Ruslan's group, Valik's group, and their supervisors were assembled. We had to keep it short as it was almost 5pm when we started. We passed out cake, juice, and tangerines to each child. This was also the only time we could take pictures of the other children, so we took a lot. Nancy took a picture of Valik with each child in his group (individually), and did the same with Ruslan's group.
Each child recited a poem for the boys.
Then we got the presents out. Originally, we were going to get each child a stuffed animal, but the director suggested we get a game for each group instead as it was a greater need. We found some good ones at the open air market this morning.
We got each group a game of "Tuectep" (Twister). We also got each group a small race track and cars (sort of like Hot Wheels).
Unfortunately due to the late hour, we had to cut it short. We got the boys and marched them out and received many blessings and well-wishes from the supervisors.
We buckled the boys into the car. They weren't too happy about that. Valik sat in Nancy's lap with a long buckle around. Then we drove off from Lutugino for the last time. The boys were ecstatic. As we drove past the orphanage, they kept saying "Bye-bye" over and over. I don't think they were the least bit sad.
I'll finish the story and add pictures later.
We sent the boys off to change. Remember that they can't take any of their old clothes with them. Everything they had been wearing stays at the orphanage. While they were changing, we went in to see the director. We gave her an arrangement of orchids as well as a leather bound photo book. We had to sign about 10 final documents to get the boys paperwork complete there.
The director gave a wonderful speech to us about the children, her best and blessings and asked that we stay in touch. She said she could tell we were a good family and cared greatly for Colin and Claire as well as Ruslan and Valik by watching us interact. She then gave a gift to Nancy and me, one to Colin, and one to Claire. All had been made by children at the orphanage, so are very special to us. We got a candle in a nice festive arrangement. The candle is to represent a bright future for the children. She wants us to burn it one year from now to remember this day. To Claire she gave a small doll which she says has her (the director's) figure (It is round). She told Claire that as one of two females in a house with 4 boys, she would have a great responsibility. She gave Colin a Christmas tree as festive as his spirit.
We then gave her the gift to the orphanage. As is their custom, she did not open the card right away. But she got teary eyed and thanked us. She noted that their funding is always low, especially with the weak economy in Ukraine and especially in the local coal mining region. In addition, her budget is broken into different categories. She cannot use money from one category to spend in a different category. (In the Air Force, we used to call this different colors of money. For instance, we could not spend development money on travel, or travel money on operations. She has the same problem). She said she does not have enough money for sports equipment or games, so this gift would be a great help.
We also offered to make a small on-going donation on a monthly basis. She got very choked up about that offer. The monetary gift is welcome, but also expected. This was not. We told her that sending it directly was not a good option as we would not get a tax deduction for it (since they are not a US charity), so we could only send about 1/2 as much. Instead, we offered to send it through support to Bruce MacDonald's mission. We get the deduction, so can send more. Also, he has been trying to establish a relationship with the orphanage, but has been unable as he is Baptist and they are Orthodox. Hopefully, this will enable them to get to know and trust him so he can do even more with them.
After this, we took pictures with the boys and the director, and got our stuff together for the going-away party.
We brought cake, juice boxes, tangerines, and gifts to a classroom where Ruslan's group, Valik's group, and their supervisors were assembled. We had to keep it short as it was almost 5pm when we started. We passed out cake, juice, and tangerines to each child. This was also the only time we could take pictures of the other children, so we took a lot. Nancy took a picture of Valik with each child in his group (individually), and did the same with Ruslan's group.
Each child recited a poem for the boys.
Then we got the presents out. Originally, we were going to get each child a stuffed animal, but the director suggested we get a game for each group instead as it was a greater need. We found some good ones at the open air market this morning.
We got each group a game of "Tuectep" (Twister). We also got each group a small race track and cars (sort of like Hot Wheels).
Unfortunately due to the late hour, we had to cut it short. We got the boys and marched them out and received many blessings and well-wishes from the supervisors.
We buckled the boys into the car. They weren't too happy about that. Valik sat in Nancy's lap with a long buckle around. Then we drove off from Lutugino for the last time. The boys were ecstatic. As we drove past the orphanage, they kept saying "Bye-bye" over and over. I don't think they were the least bit sad.
I'll finish the story and add pictures later.
A Whirlwind of Activity
Today has been non-stop action. In fact, it is not over yet.
Natasha went to Lutugino to work on the passport issue. She was able to secure us the old form passport. That was a big deal. The old form is processed in one day. The new form of passport (which is being phased in) takes 10 days to process if expedited. We were lucky to be in a district that still has a few old form passports.
While she worked on that, Nancy and I went with Sergei (our driver) to an open air market to get some last minute items for the boys. We bought a couple of sweaters and socks. We also found a CD of children's songs that the boys would know, 2 small suitcases, and toys for their class for their going away party.
Natasha called as she needed more signatures from me for the passport. She drove from Lutugino back to Lugansk to meet me and get the signatures, then returned to Lutugino (about 1 1/2 hour round trip).
I got a really good pork gyro sort of thing. Very messy and very good. Nancy got a pork kabob.
Afterward, we went to a bakery to get some cakes for the party. It was in the basement of an apartment block behind an unmarked door. We got two large, very nicely-decorated cakes for 130 hryvnia (or about $15).
I went home to clean the flat, to finish packing the boys things, to get the gifts for the ladies at the orphanage, and to get our monetary gift for the orphanage ($1000, $500 for each boy). Meanwhile, Nancy went to get some flowers and a photo album for the orphanage director.
Finally, we scrambled off to see the boys at 3:30.
Natasha went to Lutugino to work on the passport issue. She was able to secure us the old form passport. That was a big deal. The old form is processed in one day. The new form of passport (which is being phased in) takes 10 days to process if expedited. We were lucky to be in a district that still has a few old form passports.
While she worked on that, Nancy and I went with Sergei (our driver) to an open air market to get some last minute items for the boys. We bought a couple of sweaters and socks. We also found a CD of children's songs that the boys would know, 2 small suitcases, and toys for their class for their going away party.
Natasha called as she needed more signatures from me for the passport. She drove from Lutugino back to Lugansk to meet me and get the signatures, then returned to Lutugino (about 1 1/2 hour round trip).
I got a really good pork gyro sort of thing. Very messy and very good. Nancy got a pork kabob.
Afterward, we went to a bakery to get some cakes for the party. It was in the basement of an apartment block behind an unmarked door. We got two large, very nicely-decorated cakes for 130 hryvnia (or about $15).
I went home to clean the flat, to finish packing the boys things, to get the gifts for the ladies at the orphanage, and to get our monetary gift for the orphanage ($1000, $500 for each boy). Meanwhile, Nancy went to get some flowers and a photo album for the orphanage director.
Finally, we scrambled off to see the boys at 3:30.
Hurry Up and Wait
Monday we sat on our hands all morning. Natasha worked with the court to get final paperwork done to take the boys. We had hoped to visit the boys in the afternoon. But we got a call in the afternoon from Natasha of a new problem.
Supposedly, the boys were not properly registered at the orphanage, at least according to one office in Lutugino. So as far as this one office was concerned, the boys had lived on the street for 3 years.
Obviously, this was not the case. I am not sure whether there was missing paperwork, or an error in this office or what. But it added another day to the process.
We scrambled around from about 11am until 5pm from one office to another signing documents, waiting for documents, and signing others. Finally, at 5pm, we got to see the boys for just a minute. We told them we were working on documents and would be able to get them either tomorrow (Tuesday) or the next day (Wednesday).
Tuesday was the real mad dash. We got up early so we could get to the birth certificate office as soon as it opened at 8am. We got there a couple of minutes late and were behind several babushkas. As more came, they got ahead of us. They were not cutting in line. It turns out the office that does birth certificates also certifies death certificates. The death certificate is required for burial, so they get priority.
We finally got in after 1 1/2 hours. After half hour we left as they needed some documents notarized. Then we went to work on the woman who does passports. Back and forth all day from the birth certificate office to the notary to the passport office.
Finally, the day was over and we headed home. We never got to see the boys, but found that we should be able to get them on Wednesday.
Supposedly, the boys were not properly registered at the orphanage, at least according to one office in Lutugino. So as far as this one office was concerned, the boys had lived on the street for 3 years.
Obviously, this was not the case. I am not sure whether there was missing paperwork, or an error in this office or what. But it added another day to the process.
We scrambled around from about 11am until 5pm from one office to another signing documents, waiting for documents, and signing others. Finally, at 5pm, we got to see the boys for just a minute. We told them we were working on documents and would be able to get them either tomorrow (Tuesday) or the next day (Wednesday).
Tuesday was the real mad dash. We got up early so we could get to the birth certificate office as soon as it opened at 8am. We got there a couple of minutes late and were behind several babushkas. As more came, they got ahead of us. They were not cutting in line. It turns out the office that does birth certificates also certifies death certificates. The death certificate is required for burial, so they get priority.
We finally got in after 1 1/2 hours. After half hour we left as they needed some documents notarized. Then we went to work on the woman who does passports. Back and forth all day from the birth certificate office to the notary to the passport office.
Finally, the day was over and we headed home. We never got to see the boys, but found that we should be able to get them on Wednesday.
We get the boys today (finally) !!!
Just a quick note as we have to leave for the orphanage soon (I'll fill in more later, and Darla and Paul I owe you a note as well, and will try to do so this evening if possible).
We are leaving for the orphanage at 3pm. We will have a party with their friends and then pick up Valik and Ruslan. Afterward, we are going for pizza with the MacDonalds.
Tomorrow, we leave for Kiev. More soon.
We are leaving for the orphanage at 3pm. We will have a party with their friends and then pick up Valik and Ruslan. Afterward, we are going for pizza with the MacDonalds.
Tomorrow, we leave for Kiev. More soon.
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Another crazy day
Well, now I'm a parent without children. I legally have custody of Valik and Ruslan but am not allowed to take them with me until I finish more paper work. Have mercy! We finally finished the paperwork this evening except for the passport. More on that later. The good news is we plan on having a party at the orphanage and then leave with our sons tomorrow around 3! and if our passport plans works correctly, then we plan on leaving beautiful Lugansk for Kiev on Thursday. Wow!
Okay, there are two types of passports we can get for the boys to take them home. One passport (the newest and most common) is already paid for and takes as much as 10 working days to receive. The other costs extra but we can get it right away. Can you guess which one we are getting? I'll bet you can.
We are looking forward to returning to Kiev. Even if we could return home immediately, we still want to extend our stay long enough to sight see a little. We didn't get to site see during our first trip to Kiev, so we don't want to leave without some of the culture. I want to see a Cossack dance!
Okay, there are two types of passports we can get for the boys to take them home. One passport (the newest and most common) is already paid for and takes as much as 10 working days to receive. The other costs extra but we can get it right away. Can you guess which one we are getting? I'll bet you can.
We are looking forward to returning to Kiev. Even if we could return home immediately, we still want to extend our stay long enough to sight see a little. We didn't get to site see during our first trip to Kiev, so we don't want to leave without some of the culture. I want to see a Cossack dance!
Monday, January 12, 2009
Waiting and praying for pick up
Hi,
Well, we might have another delay on the pick up time. It all depends on the director and what she will do. Tomorrow is when the office for reissuing birth certificates is open and we need that to officially get the boys. I can't wait to bring them here with us! I want to see their shining faces when they enter our flat and see all the clothing we have for them. "Wow!" is what I'm sure they'll say. But if we must wait, then God is in control for a reason.
Nancy
Well, we might have another delay on the pick up time. It all depends on the director and what she will do. Tomorrow is when the office for reissuing birth certificates is open and we need that to officially get the boys. I can't wait to bring them here with us! I want to see their shining faces when they enter our flat and see all the clothing we have for them. "Wow!" is what I'm sure they'll say. But if we must wait, then God is in control for a reason.
Nancy
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Clothes shopping at a sub-freezing open air market
Peter (Nikolai and Nadia's son) took Nancy and me clothes shopping this morning (Sunday 01/11). We needed to get clothes for the boys since they must leave all their existing clothes with the orphanage. We hadn't realized that until shortly before Natasha left last week. We thought they owned the clothes they wore, and perhaps a few toys. But Natasha said the clothes are from a common supply at the orphanage and would be needed there. It is quite possible that they boys own literally nothing other than the toys we have given them.
Nancy got a tape measure last week and did her best to measure the boys. Of course, they are so squirmy that is not an easy task. But (we hope) she got some decent measurements; at least good enough to get clothes to last them until we get back to Charlotte.
The open air market was outside (of course) in an enclosed area. So at least there was no wind to contend with. But the dark closed area acts like a refrigerator. We were able to be there for about an hour before Nancy's fingers started hurting and we had to leave.
There were lots of women's clothes, boots (of course), men's sweaters, and coats. Prices were good although we now here there was a better one a couple of blocks away. Bartering is possible, but it was so cold we only did a little bit.
After we had to leave there, we went to a kids' store called CKA3A (Skazah), or something like that. No bartering in the store of course. They had a pretty good selection. Prices were higher though. But the prices on boots were much higher.
We scrambled back to a toy store in the Lugansk City Centre (a mall) and got some cheapo snow boots (about $15) Nancy had seen. We don't need them in Charlotte, so saw no value in paying more. They only need to last 2-3 weeks. The next price level up was $50.
We bought 110 size (5 year old) for our 7 year old Valik), and 122 size (7 year old) for our 10 year old (in 2 weeks) Ruslan. We have not yet tried them on the boys, but they look about right if not too big.
In all we spent about $280 for a full set of clothes for both boys. I'll list them for educational purposes. For each boy:
- 2 pairs pants
- 4 pairs underwear
- 2 pairs tights (boys wear tights here. I guess that's why so many boys are willing to take ballet)
- 2 turtlenecks
- 1 sweater
- 1 pair gloves
- 1 heavy coat
- 1 stocking hat
- 1 scarf
- 1 pair pajamas
- 1 pair snow boots
Not bad for the price. We still have to get socks and toothbrushes, but we are just about set.
I started feeling worse, and so bowed out of going to church. Bruce took Nancy and the kids to a 3pm Baptist service at a dance studio in Lutugino. As I mentioned before, if you are not Orthodox, it is hard to get space for a church.
My temp only got up to 99.4, but my normal temp is 96.8, so it was high for me (no . Mostly upset stomach and bodyaches. Feeling better today though only at about 85%.
Natasha returns from Kyiv tomorrow. We begin the paperwork process to get the boys (either Monday or Tuesday). I think we can Monday, but we will be running around a lot, so need to discuss with Natasha. We are also thinking of throwing a little party for the boys classmates, but not sure yet.
Nancy got a tape measure last week and did her best to measure the boys. Of course, they are so squirmy that is not an easy task. But (we hope) she got some decent measurements; at least good enough to get clothes to last them until we get back to Charlotte.
The open air market was outside (of course) in an enclosed area. So at least there was no wind to contend with. But the dark closed area acts like a refrigerator. We were able to be there for about an hour before Nancy's fingers started hurting and we had to leave.
There were lots of women's clothes, boots (of course), men's sweaters, and coats. Prices were good although we now here there was a better one a couple of blocks away. Bartering is possible, but it was so cold we only did a little bit.
After we had to leave there, we went to a kids' store called CKA3A (Skazah), or something like that. No bartering in the store of course. They had a pretty good selection. Prices were higher though. But the prices on boots were much higher.
We scrambled back to a toy store in the Lugansk City Centre (a mall) and got some cheapo snow boots (about $15) Nancy had seen. We don't need them in Charlotte, so saw no value in paying more. They only need to last 2-3 weeks. The next price level up was $50.
We bought 110 size (5 year old) for our 7 year old Valik), and 122 size (7 year old) for our 10 year old (in 2 weeks) Ruslan. We have not yet tried them on the boys, but they look about right if not too big.
In all we spent about $280 for a full set of clothes for both boys. I'll list them for educational purposes. For each boy:
- 2 pairs pants
- 4 pairs underwear
- 2 pairs tights (boys wear tights here. I guess that's why so many boys are willing to take ballet)
- 2 turtlenecks
- 1 sweater
- 1 pair gloves
- 1 heavy coat
- 1 stocking hat
- 1 scarf
- 1 pair pajamas
- 1 pair snow boots
Not bad for the price. We still have to get socks and toothbrushes, but we are just about set.
I started feeling worse, and so bowed out of going to church. Bruce took Nancy and the kids to a 3pm Baptist service at a dance studio in Lutugino. As I mentioned before, if you are not Orthodox, it is hard to get space for a church.
My temp only got up to 99.4, but my normal temp is 96.8, so it was high for me (no . Mostly upset stomach and bodyaches. Feeling better today though only at about 85%.
Natasha returns from Kyiv tomorrow. We begin the paperwork process to get the boys (either Monday or Tuesday). I think we can Monday, but we will be running around a lot, so need to discuss with Natasha. We are also thinking of throwing a little party for the boys classmates, but not sure yet.
Discipline steps up as we prepare to get the boys
We had several adventures with the boys (as Nancy mentioned earlier) on Friday (01/09) and Saturday (01/10). We had Gabby (as well as Colin and Claire) with us both days to help with translation.
We are slowly (too slowly?) ramping up our discipline with the boys as we prepare to bring the, home with us. We don't want to do too much too quickly as we think it (the change in our response to them) will confuse them. But it is becoming more and more clear that we need to be more strict. This began in earnest on Friday.
Early in the visit Friday went well. The boys asked if I was better (having been home sick on Thursday) and asked if I had gone to the hospital. We had a good time playing games, especially perennial favorites "Stop - Go" and "Hide and Seek".
Ruslan brought his car in because it wasn't working. It turns out that the battery pack had been removed. He didn't know where it was. At first we thought that some other kid may have taken it, perhaps being jealous of the car or of Ruslan being adopted. That is still possible, but Natasha (when we spoke to her on the phone) suggested that a supervisor may have taken the batteries if Ruslan was making too much noise with the car (a distinct possibility. That toy is loud). No answer to that mystery yet.
Valik also brought his, and we set it up on the one outlet in the room to charge the battery as it was very low.
I had Ruslan teach me some Russian words and I told him the English equivalents. He definitely shows more interest in that than Valik. I think Valik's attention span is too short for that right now.
While I was doing that, Nancy was working with Valik on the 24 piece puzzle.
That was the first time Valik did that. He apparently needed some help, but did pretty well. Valik came running out to the stairwell where Ruslan and I were talking. He was very proud and pulled me in to show me that he had completed the puzzle. I think Ruslan began to get jealous (he had done the puzzle the other day). He began saying that Valik must have had help and he couldn't do it by himself. Clearly, he was getting jealous of the attention Valik got (though we had praised Ruslan before when he did the puzzle).
After that, we played Candyland. Both boys like to deal cards to us now, even more than they like to play. We did "one potato, two potato" to choose who would deal. Valik won. Ruslan took a playing piece, but did not want to play. He just laid on the floor, but didn't seem too upset. Just like we have begun to do with Valik on several occasions, we let him know he is welcome to play, but ignored him as he lay there.
He got up to watch after a while, and saw me get 2 face cards in a row (Jolly and Princess Lolly for aficionados of the game). He began a big speech where he clearly was accusing Valik of cheating (both boys have stacked the deck before, but that was not the case this time). Ruslan would hear none of it.
He started yelling at Valik and said he was leaving. He put on his clothes. We told him we would like to play with him tomorrow if he behaves. He walked by Valik's car, and knocked it to the ground, breaking the cable for the charger in the process. We should have stopped him right then, but didn't. I said "Da svedaniya". I thought he said "Da svedaniya, papa" as he slammed the door. But Gabby told us he said, "Da svedaniya, cacatchka", meaning "Goodbye turds".
She had pointed out earlier that the boys were saying some mildly naughty words like that, as well as stupid and such. We also heard from Gabby that Ruslan told Valik we are only taking him (Valik) to America to kill him. It is a horrible thing to say. But I also know it is a rumor that goes around in the orphanages. The kids (and I have heard supervisors on some other blogs) say that people are adopting kids so they can sell their organs.
I guess it is jealousy that does that. We assured Valik that we love him and Ruslan and are going to take good care of him until he is all grown up. He got kind of quiet. It's just a matter of time of course, but we have to build trust with them.
We resolved to deal with that on Saturday.
In the meantime, Valik was enjoying his brother getting in trouble, I think. He really brightened up. Bruce called Gabby around then and Valik commandeered the phone (but see Nancy's earlier post "Trading Places" for that). But he was really well behaved after that.
After the visit, we resolved to get more firm with both boys and give them a good talking to, and to be a little intimidating as we did so, in the future. I hate to sound wimpy in all this, but when you are caught off-guard and can't communicate one-on-one being a strict disciplinarian is hard. Nancy and I agree though that I need to be the bad cop as that fits their cultural expectations better.
After we left, we went to the MacDonald's house to watch a movie. They have a projector for their computer so we were able to watch a 7ft diagonal movie. We saw "Flywheel", a film about a used car salesman made by a church in Georgia for $20,000. This was the same group that later made "Facing the Giants" and "Fireproof". Production values were not what you would normally expect, but for a $20,000 film were amazing. The acting (with the exception of the wife who was not very good) was at least as good as most TV sitcoms and several were much better. Also, the plot had several unexpected twists and turns. Really a pretty good film and quite enjoyable.
We borrowed "The Last Starfighter" from them and left them with "How the Grinch Stole Christmas" which they had not seen before(!!!)
We returned to see the boys on Saturday (1/10). We took Gabby with us and decided to see Ruslan first. Not as a reward for his bad behavior but to give him some special time and also to have a talk to him about his behavior. then we would send Ruslan off and play with Valik.
Ruslan came in all happy and we played with him for a while. He likes to wear my watch (and is very good about returning it, thankfully). We played Stop - Go. I also pulled out a really good Russian to English book that Disney put together. It shows a little cartoon picture with an English word, the pronunciation of the English word if it were written in Cyrillic letters, the Russian equivalent of the word and a sentence. It is quite good, and kept Ruslan's attention pretty well.
Ruslan liked the attention and burst into all his gymnastic feats. He likes to show off.
We also gave him a little Matchbox car to play with. He had fun with that for a few minutes, and then ran off to get Valik so he could have his as well. We tried to explain to him that we were going to play with Valik later, but he dashed off. In a way, it was nice that he wanted to share with his brother, but we were not happy that he didn't obey.
He came back 5 minutes later, and we gave him his lecture. I stood towering over him and told him that we love him, BUT, we were not happy with his behavior. he was being disrespectful and disobedient. He must listen to what we say and obey immediately. Our job is to keep him safe and we can't do that if he doesn't obey. He smirked a bit, but was also chastened. I made him look me in the eye. He didn't take it perfectly, but after that his behavior was pretty good, so I think it was effective. There will be a lot more of this. Probably every day for a while as we establish authority.
Valik showed up and we played more of the same. We played with the little cars, and Hide and Seek. We showed the language book to Valik. He was somewhat interested, but it didn't keep his attention for as long.
We also showed the boys how to juggle. They were marginally interested, but mainly wanted to play catch. After a few minutes, the director's assistant came up and told us we would have to play outside as the boys were too loud.
We got a sled and dragged the boys around for a bit. But after about 20 minutes it was too cold for the boys and we went back in, promising to stay quiet.
Both boys did the puzzle and we cheered for both. They are improving in their puzzle skills.
I carried Valik around on my shoulders and asked him various words. I asked him the word for cat. At first he said kohshka (the correct word). Then he tried to trick me by saying kakatchka (or something like that) which means turd. He thought I wouldn't know. I told him right out that those words are not allowed. He giggled and kept starting the first syllable. I caught him again and pulled him off my shoulders. And set him down on the sofa. He tried to get out, but I put him back. I gave him a lecture on bad words.
He stood up and pulled on his coat and stormed out. We decided to let him leave. After about 30 seconds, he came back and behaved well the rest of the visit.
So, as you can see, we are slowly ramping up the discipline. It is still less than they need, and less than we normally would do. But the amount they need would be too sudden a change.
And we are beginning to see the results. I think it will work. Their behavior is beginning to improve.
We are slowly (too slowly?) ramping up our discipline with the boys as we prepare to bring the, home with us. We don't want to do too much too quickly as we think it (the change in our response to them) will confuse them. But it is becoming more and more clear that we need to be more strict. This began in earnest on Friday.
Early in the visit Friday went well. The boys asked if I was better (having been home sick on Thursday) and asked if I had gone to the hospital. We had a good time playing games, especially perennial favorites "Stop - Go" and "Hide and Seek".
Ruslan brought his car in because it wasn't working. It turns out that the battery pack had been removed. He didn't know where it was. At first we thought that some other kid may have taken it, perhaps being jealous of the car or of Ruslan being adopted. That is still possible, but Natasha (when we spoke to her on the phone) suggested that a supervisor may have taken the batteries if Ruslan was making too much noise with the car (a distinct possibility. That toy is loud). No answer to that mystery yet.
Valik also brought his, and we set it up on the one outlet in the room to charge the battery as it was very low.
I had Ruslan teach me some Russian words and I told him the English equivalents. He definitely shows more interest in that than Valik. I think Valik's attention span is too short for that right now.
While I was doing that, Nancy was working with Valik on the 24 piece puzzle.
That was the first time Valik did that. He apparently needed some help, but did pretty well. Valik came running out to the stairwell where Ruslan and I were talking. He was very proud and pulled me in to show me that he had completed the puzzle. I think Ruslan began to get jealous (he had done the puzzle the other day). He began saying that Valik must have had help and he couldn't do it by himself. Clearly, he was getting jealous of the attention Valik got (though we had praised Ruslan before when he did the puzzle).After that, we played Candyland. Both boys like to deal cards to us now, even more than they like to play. We did "one potato, two potato" to choose who would deal. Valik won. Ruslan took a playing piece, but did not want to play. He just laid on the floor, but didn't seem too upset. Just like we have begun to do with Valik on several occasions, we let him know he is welcome to play, but ignored him as he lay there.
He got up to watch after a while, and saw me get 2 face cards in a row (Jolly and Princess Lolly for aficionados of the game). He began a big speech where he clearly was accusing Valik of cheating (both boys have stacked the deck before, but that was not the case this time). Ruslan would hear none of it.
He started yelling at Valik and said he was leaving. He put on his clothes. We told him we would like to play with him tomorrow if he behaves. He walked by Valik's car, and knocked it to the ground, breaking the cable for the charger in the process. We should have stopped him right then, but didn't. I said "Da svedaniya". I thought he said "Da svedaniya, papa" as he slammed the door. But Gabby told us he said, "Da svedaniya, cacatchka", meaning "Goodbye turds".
She had pointed out earlier that the boys were saying some mildly naughty words like that, as well as stupid and such. We also heard from Gabby that Ruslan told Valik we are only taking him (Valik) to America to kill him. It is a horrible thing to say. But I also know it is a rumor that goes around in the orphanages. The kids (and I have heard supervisors on some other blogs) say that people are adopting kids so they can sell their organs.
I guess it is jealousy that does that. We assured Valik that we love him and Ruslan and are going to take good care of him until he is all grown up. He got kind of quiet. It's just a matter of time of course, but we have to build trust with them.
We resolved to deal with that on Saturday.
In the meantime, Valik was enjoying his brother getting in trouble, I think. He really brightened up. Bruce called Gabby around then and Valik commandeered the phone (but see Nancy's earlier post "Trading Places" for that). But he was really well behaved after that.
After the visit, we resolved to get more firm with both boys and give them a good talking to, and to be a little intimidating as we did so, in the future. I hate to sound wimpy in all this, but when you are caught off-guard and can't communicate one-on-one being a strict disciplinarian is hard. Nancy and I agree though that I need to be the bad cop as that fits their cultural expectations better.
After we left, we went to the MacDonald's house to watch a movie. They have a projector for their computer so we were able to watch a 7ft diagonal movie. We saw "Flywheel", a film about a used car salesman made by a church in Georgia for $20,000. This was the same group that later made "Facing the Giants" and "Fireproof". Production values were not what you would normally expect, but for a $20,000 film were amazing. The acting (with the exception of the wife who was not very good) was at least as good as most TV sitcoms and several were much better. Also, the plot had several unexpected twists and turns. Really a pretty good film and quite enjoyable.
We borrowed "The Last Starfighter" from them and left them with "How the Grinch Stole Christmas" which they had not seen before(!!!)
We returned to see the boys on Saturday (1/10). We took Gabby with us and decided to see Ruslan first. Not as a reward for his bad behavior but to give him some special time and also to have a talk to him about his behavior. then we would send Ruslan off and play with Valik.
Ruslan came in all happy and we played with him for a while. He likes to wear my watch (and is very good about returning it, thankfully). We played Stop - Go. I also pulled out a really good Russian to English book that Disney put together. It shows a little cartoon picture with an English word, the pronunciation of the English word if it were written in Cyrillic letters, the Russian equivalent of the word and a sentence. It is quite good, and kept Ruslan's attention pretty well.
Ruslan liked the attention and burst into all his gymnastic feats. He likes to show off.
We also gave him a little Matchbox car to play with. He had fun with that for a few minutes, and then ran off to get Valik so he could have his as well. We tried to explain to him that we were going to play with Valik later, but he dashed off. In a way, it was nice that he wanted to share with his brother, but we were not happy that he didn't obey.
He came back 5 minutes later, and we gave him his lecture. I stood towering over him and told him that we love him, BUT, we were not happy with his behavior. he was being disrespectful and disobedient. He must listen to what we say and obey immediately. Our job is to keep him safe and we can't do that if he doesn't obey. He smirked a bit, but was also chastened. I made him look me in the eye. He didn't take it perfectly, but after that his behavior was pretty good, so I think it was effective. There will be a lot more of this. Probably every day for a while as we establish authority.
Valik showed up and we played more of the same. We played with the little cars, and Hide and Seek. We showed the language book to Valik. He was somewhat interested, but it didn't keep his attention for as long.
We also showed the boys how to juggle. They were marginally interested, but mainly wanted to play catch. After a few minutes, the director's assistant came up and told us we would have to play outside as the boys were too loud.
We got a sled and dragged the boys around for a bit. But after about 20 minutes it was too cold for the boys and we went back in, promising to stay quiet.
Both boys did the puzzle and we cheered for both. They are improving in their puzzle skills.
I carried Valik around on my shoulders and asked him various words. I asked him the word for cat. At first he said kohshka (the correct word). Then he tried to trick me by saying kakatchka (or something like that) which means turd. He thought I wouldn't know. I told him right out that those words are not allowed. He giggled and kept starting the first syllable. I caught him again and pulled him off my shoulders. And set him down on the sofa. He tried to get out, but I put him back. I gave him a lecture on bad words.
He stood up and pulled on his coat and stormed out. We decided to let him leave. After about 30 seconds, he came back and behaved well the rest of the visit.
So, as you can see, we are slowly ramping up the discipline. It is still less than they need, and less than we normally would do. But the amount they need would be too sudden a change.
And we are beginning to see the results. I think it will work. Their behavior is beginning to improve.
Now who would have thought you could find truth in "Pravda"?
Students of the Cold War will recall that "Pravda" (the Russian word for "truth") was the official mouthpiece of the Communist Party in the USSR. The newspaper is still around and still presents the news from the Russian point of view.
I was poking around on their website (www.english.pravda.ru) tonight. Amidst the articles on why Russia's power is ascending, why US power is in decline, and why Ukraine is nuts I found this article: "Why God Didn't Have a Beginning?".
Students of apologetics will recognize this argument, but some of you may not have seen this before. But most interesting of all was finding it in the pages of Pravda.
There is some truth after all....
I was poking around on their website (www.english.pravda.ru) tonight. Amidst the articles on why Russia's power is ascending, why US power is in decline, and why Ukraine is nuts I found this article: "Why God Didn't Have a Beginning?".
Students of apologetics will recognize this argument, but some of you may not have seen this before. But most interesting of all was finding it in the pages of Pravda.
There is some truth after all....
Orthodox Christmas and a day to relax
Wednesday, 01/07 was Orthodox Christmas. The orphanage was closed for business that iday (o.e., no visitors) so we stayed home. Originally we intended to go to an Orthodox service, but quite honestly, we just vegged out that day. We also were still trying to warm up from our walk home in sub-zero weather the night before. We watched lots of "24" (wrapped up Season 4) and "Mystery Science Theater 3000". We also saw bits of various kids movies in Russian, like "Ratatouille". And for a real treat saw "Blue Lagoon". You know Brooke Shields seems a lot more intelligent in that movie when you can't understand what she says. Not much else to say.
(Hi, Nancy here, and I'd just like to state for the record that I turned off Blue Lagoon as the two young teens awakened to their sexuality! I know it is a best selling book and all but Hollywood over glamorizes this stuff and I turn it off.)
On Thursday, 01/08, I stayed home as I was sick. Not real bad off, but enough that I was worried I would get worse. Just a simple head cold. Got over it soon enough. I spent the day trying to format pictures and post on the blog. Got to catch up soon....
(Hi, Nancy here, and I'd just like to state for the record that I turned off Blue Lagoon as the two young teens awakened to their sexuality! I know it is a best selling book and all but Hollywood over glamorizes this stuff and I turn it off.)
On Thursday, 01/08, I stayed home as I was sick. Not real bad off, but enough that I was worried I would get worse. Just a simple head cold. Got over it soon enough. I spent the day trying to format pictures and post on the blog. Got to catch up soon....
Christmas Pageants
On Monday and Tuesday (1/5 and 1/6), we got help from two of the MacDonald kids. Gabby (16) helped out on Monday, followed by Ben (17) on Tuesday. Both are really nice and were very helpful to us. Both are planning on joining the Army after they finish high school. And let's face it, without MacDonald kids in the Army, the US fighting forces would be down by about 25%.
On Monday we started playing with Ruslan and Valik. But after a few minutes, Ruslan heard music downstairs and pulled me down with him. There was yet another Christmas pageant. This time, it was for the middle schoolers. But they also were wearing costumes (including pig, Batman, and chicken) just like the kids. Ruslan can not resist watching a performance, so we watched that one while he sat on my lap.
After that, we went back upstairs. We played more Hide and Seek and had Ruslan put together a 24 piece puzzle of a cat and mouse. He is slowly getting better on puzzles, but is just starting to figure them out.''Nancy, Colin, and Claire played with Valik most of the time, while I played with Ruslan (though we both played with each of them of course).
Ruslan was very affectionate today and wanted to hide with me while we played Hide and Seek.
On Tuesday, we returned with Ben to help out. Ruslan was first again as Valik was having a nap. He arrived after about 1/2 hour looking very dazed. We thought at first it was because he had just woke up. However, I think he was a little bit sick. He was very cranky and unenergetic the whole day. His eyes were a bit glassy too, but he had no fever, fortunately.
We were playing with the boys, when Ruslan suddenly said something and dashed off. He was supposed to be in a Christmas pageant. He returned a few minutes later in pink tights and pig costume. We took Valik downstairs to watch the Christmas Eve pageant.
This one was very long (almost 2 hours). it started off interesting as they were showing traditional Ukrainian dinner celebration and recognition of the icons.
After that though, it was a procession of every kid there (about 60) reciting one at a time. This was too long for me, and the kids were getting squirmy as they wanted the candy that was coming at the end. They straightened up though when the regional director arrived.
Valik had a tough time though. His group wasn't in the pageant, he was bored, and not feeling well. he kept trying to sneak out, but the hall monitor (a little girl about 9) kept barring the door, at least when he got past me. We consoled him as well as possible.
After the show we headed out. We decided to go out for dinner and went to Cem's Ctek Xayc (Sam's Steak House). Sergey dropped us off at about 5:30. There were only 4 other people there (in a restaurant that seats about 150). Billboard picture below.
I got a rib-eye, Claire got her beloved chicken caesar salad, and Nancy and Colin got a burger and fries. The food was good. Not amazing, but quite good. And the whole thing came to about $55 so we can't complain.
On the way out, I spoke to the coat check guy who spoke English well. I noted that we were very early for dinner and it was Christmas Eve, so I assumed that's why it was so empty. He said, no they get a good lunch crowd, but at night only get a few people after 9pm mostly. Business seemed pretty bad to me. The place is very big.
He had stayed in Kentucky for about 8 months. He also lived in Adelaide, Australia for about a year. Turns out he is a veterinarian and likes working with horses. We asked if he was going back to US anytime. He looked wistful and said he would like to, but cannot get licensed in the US unless he goes to vet school all over again. He said US only accepts college credits from UK and Australia. Seems dumb to me. I felt bad and apologized on behalf of US for the bureaucracy.
We went to a very nice toy store next to the restaurant. I found a few very nice books for the kids and most important of all - a deck of cards! They are hard to find in Ukraine.
After that, we bundled up for a 1 1/2 mile walk home. As we were driving back to Lugansk, the temperature was -7 F, but warmed up to about 5 F in the city. But it cooled off while we were at the restaurant to about -2 F (with a windchill of about -8 F).
We ducked in to a store about every 1/4 mile and were able to make it home, but it was getting painful. The odd thing was that Nancy was fine. Usually she gets in serious pain before I even get chilled. So we were glad that worked out.
Another Mystery Science Theater 3000 ("Werewolf") ended the day.
On Monday we started playing with Ruslan and Valik. But after a few minutes, Ruslan heard music downstairs and pulled me down with him. There was yet another Christmas pageant. This time, it was for the middle schoolers. But they also were wearing costumes (including pig, Batman, and chicken) just like the kids. Ruslan can not resist watching a performance, so we watched that one while he sat on my lap.
After that, we went back upstairs. We played more Hide and Seek and had Ruslan put together a 24 piece puzzle of a cat and mouse. He is slowly getting better on puzzles, but is just starting to figure them out.''Nancy, Colin, and Claire played with Valik most of the time, while I played with Ruslan (though we both played with each of them of course).
Ruslan was very affectionate today and wanted to hide with me while we played Hide and Seek.
On Tuesday, we returned with Ben to help out. Ruslan was first again as Valik was having a nap. He arrived after about 1/2 hour looking very dazed. We thought at first it was because he had just woke up. However, I think he was a little bit sick. He was very cranky and unenergetic the whole day. His eyes were a bit glassy too, but he had no fever, fortunately.
We were playing with the boys, when Ruslan suddenly said something and dashed off. He was supposed to be in a Christmas pageant. He returned a few minutes later in pink tights and pig costume. We took Valik downstairs to watch the Christmas Eve pageant.
This one was very long (almost 2 hours). it started off interesting as they were showing traditional Ukrainian dinner celebration and recognition of the icons.
After that though, it was a procession of every kid there (about 60) reciting one at a time. This was too long for me, and the kids were getting squirmy as they wanted the candy that was coming at the end. They straightened up though when the regional director arrived.
Valik had a tough time though. His group wasn't in the pageant, he was bored, and not feeling well. he kept trying to sneak out, but the hall monitor (a little girl about 9) kept barring the door, at least when he got past me. We consoled him as well as possible.
After the show we headed out. We decided to go out for dinner and went to Cem's Ctek Xayc (Sam's Steak House). Sergey dropped us off at about 5:30. There were only 4 other people there (in a restaurant that seats about 150). Billboard picture below.
I got a rib-eye, Claire got her beloved chicken caesar salad, and Nancy and Colin got a burger and fries. The food was good. Not amazing, but quite good. And the whole thing came to about $55 so we can't complain.
On the way out, I spoke to the coat check guy who spoke English well. I noted that we were very early for dinner and it was Christmas Eve, so I assumed that's why it was so empty. He said, no they get a good lunch crowd, but at night only get a few people after 9pm mostly. Business seemed pretty bad to me. The place is very big.
He had stayed in Kentucky for about 8 months. He also lived in Adelaide, Australia for about a year. Turns out he is a veterinarian and likes working with horses. We asked if he was going back to US anytime. He looked wistful and said he would like to, but cannot get licensed in the US unless he goes to vet school all over again. He said US only accepts college credits from UK and Australia. Seems dumb to me. I felt bad and apologized on behalf of US for the bureaucracy.
We went to a very nice toy store next to the restaurant. I found a few very nice books for the kids and most important of all - a deck of cards! They are hard to find in Ukraine.
After that, we bundled up for a 1 1/2 mile walk home. As we were driving back to Lugansk, the temperature was -7 F, but warmed up to about 5 F in the city. But it cooled off while we were at the restaurant to about -2 F (with a windchill of about -8 F).
We ducked in to a store about every 1/4 mile and were able to make it home, but it was getting painful. The odd thing was that Nancy was fine. Usually she gets in serious pain before I even get chilled. So we were glad that worked out.
Another Mystery Science Theater 3000 ("Werewolf") ended the day.
Christmas Service at local Church
On Sunday (1/4), Bruce picked us up to take us to church in Lutugino (about 1 1/4 hour round trip so it is much appreciated). The church is actually about 5 miles out of Lutugino in a smaller town still (but I don't recall the name). The church was an evangelical church (I think it is not aligned with any denomination) run by Pastor Roman (Roh - mahn'). I don't recall his last name. We met him briefly at Bruce's the previous Friday.
We had to stop at Bruce's house on the way to get his generator as the power had gone out in the local area (which apparently is fairly common). The church is in a small building about the size of a store. The church bought it a couple of years ago for about $5000. With some improvements they have made (and an increase in real estate prices), it is worth about $20,000. The neat thing about that to me is that a small amount of money can make a huge difference here.
It is especially hard (so I am told) for non-Orthodox churches to be established. Getting zoning approvals is difficult, supposedly due to Orthodox church complaints. But if you own the building already, it is easier to get approvals.
The church has about 85 or 90 members and seems to be full each week. Many of the members are at a rehabilitation center (for alcohol) that the church supports. Bruce told us there were several thieves and murderers there, but had all been changed as they gave their life to the Lord. The age range was well balanced between young families with children and babushkas and dyedushkas. The service was similar in many ways to an evangelical service in the South, but longer. A typical service is about 2 hours. This one was longer as the children did their Christmas presentations (recall that in Ukraine, they celebrate Christmas on 01/07).
Pastor Roman introduced our family and told them we were adopting 2 boys. The entire church prayed for us very vocally. It was really great.
We also got to hear a service we understood by chance. The service was in Russian (though Bruce translated for us). There was a visiting pastor (Terry Burns of Burns Mission) from Kyiv who gave the sermon (in English, then translated into Russian). He was Canadian, but we could understand him once we deleted all the "eh"s he said. Terry runs the mission at the link above, but also teaches 8th grade literature at the US - Canadian State Department School in Kyiv. Mom, I think you were looking into these for a while as I recall. Apparently the school is filled with kids of ambassadors (US and CN), military liaisons (US and CN), and wealthy Ukrainians. Terry and his wife are very nice and have invited us to dinner when we return to Kyiv.
The children's presentation was cute and has some very pretty little girls. As I understand it, in Ukraine, kids always have to recite some poem during Christmas, and then they get their gift. Here are some pictures of the kids (not ours. We can't take them anywhere yet).
After church, we decided to go to Bruce's for lunch and again ended up staying there for about 6 or 7 hours. Pastor Roman and Terry Burns and his wife were there as well. The kids enjoy visiting there as they like Bruce and Pia's kids (Claire really hit it off with Gabby, and Colin enjoys showing the boys all his favorite websites, like Legendary Frog).
We had to stop at Bruce's house on the way to get his generator as the power had gone out in the local area (which apparently is fairly common). The church is in a small building about the size of a store. The church bought it a couple of years ago for about $5000. With some improvements they have made (and an increase in real estate prices), it is worth about $20,000. The neat thing about that to me is that a small amount of money can make a huge difference here.
It is especially hard (so I am told) for non-Orthodox churches to be established. Getting zoning approvals is difficult, supposedly due to Orthodox church complaints. But if you own the building already, it is easier to get approvals.
The church has about 85 or 90 members and seems to be full each week. Many of the members are at a rehabilitation center (for alcohol) that the church supports. Bruce told us there were several thieves and murderers there, but had all been changed as they gave their life to the Lord. The age range was well balanced between young families with children and babushkas and dyedushkas. The service was similar in many ways to an evangelical service in the South, but longer. A typical service is about 2 hours. This one was longer as the children did their Christmas presentations (recall that in Ukraine, they celebrate Christmas on 01/07).
Pastor Roman introduced our family and told them we were adopting 2 boys. The entire church prayed for us very vocally. It was really great.
We also got to hear a service we understood by chance. The service was in Russian (though Bruce translated for us). There was a visiting pastor (Terry Burns of Burns Mission) from Kyiv who gave the sermon (in English, then translated into Russian). He was Canadian, but we could understand him once we deleted all the "eh"s he said. Terry runs the mission at the link above, but also teaches 8th grade literature at the US - Canadian State Department School in Kyiv. Mom, I think you were looking into these for a while as I recall. Apparently the school is filled with kids of ambassadors (US and CN), military liaisons (US and CN), and wealthy Ukrainians. Terry and his wife are very nice and have invited us to dinner when we return to Kyiv.
The children's presentation was cute and has some very pretty little girls. As I understand it, in Ukraine, kids always have to recite some poem during Christmas, and then they get their gift. Here are some pictures of the kids (not ours. We can't take them anywhere yet).
After church, we decided to go to Bruce's for lunch and again ended up staying there for about 6 or 7 hours. Pastor Roman and Terry Burns and his wife were there as well. The kids enjoy visiting there as they like Bruce and Pia's kids (Claire really hit it off with Gabby, and Colin enjoys showing the boys all his favorite websites, like Legendary Frog).
Yet more catch-up (1/2 - 1/3)
Was feeling better yesterday (1/10), but feeling odd again today. So while everyone else is at church today (for a 3pm service), I am staying home.
Unfortunately, the days are starting to run together a bit, but I'll do my best to keep them straight.
We went back to the orphanage on Friday of course. We are now in our 10 day waiting period (which is 12 days since the 10 days ends on a Saturday). This was our first visit without Natasha there to translate for us. It was a bit of a struggle, but we got through it.
The women at the orphanage know what to do when we see them, so that is no problem. The boys were happy to see us. Valik thought his car was broken, but he just didn't understand how to charge the batteries. I saved the day on that one.
We got a 24 piece puzzle (with large pieces) for the boys to practice their puzzles. Valik was not interested, but Ruslan was happy to try it. He needed a little help (he still doesn't understand the concept of edge pieces), but he got it. He was pretty proud about that.
We played more of the same games in the same room. While they are fun, they are getting a little old to us. There are, after all, only about 6 hiding places in that big room, and they are all well known. Still, the boys like it (hide and seek is still their favorite) and so we have fun with them.
I bought several books for the boys a couple of days ago, but we decided to hold those for the train.
We are now in the slowly phasing in discipline and slowly phasing out presents part. But we see this as a couple month process really.
We also decided to only visit the boys for a couple of hours a day to try to keep them fresh and to minimize any problems. We also try to visit the boys separately when possible to keep the sibling rivalry down.
After a couple of hours, we went to visit the MacDonalds. We had heard of them from some friends and met them briefly on Christmas Day. But this was our first chance to spend any time with them.
They are (most recently) from Chattanooga, TN. They have been here for almost 4 years as missionaries (On Point for Christ) supported by several churches in their area. Bruce retired from the Army after 30 years as a Russian linguist then a recruiter. He and his wife Pia have 12 kids. 5 are in the Army with all in, or soon to be in, Iraq or Afghanistan. Their other 7 live in Lutugino and range from 17 to 1 1/2.
They bought an (unfinished) house for about $8500 a few years ago. There are lots of unfinished houses in the area that had been started in the 1990s (I think) when the economy was better. When the economy fell, the houses were abandoned and mostly sit empty though the ones in their area seem to be used. But there are hundreds of very large and nice houses in Lugansk that have been empty for years. They have done pretty well on that one since then though and are just finishing up the last room inside.
We ended up staying there for about 5 or 6 hours (and so did not return to the orphanage as we had planned). They have a tough mission here but are making some headway in town. It is difficult to make inroads as most in the area are Orthodox or atheist (or simply not interested). However, there are a couple of churches in the area that have welcomed their assistance. They also work in the summer with visiting teams and assist with a Christian camp. They also help raise money for local hospitals and schools and run eyeglass clinics for locals which are very well received. From the comments of others I have heard as well as their relationship with the mayor of Lutugino, I think they are making good headway.
They certainly are doing a good job with their kids. All are intelligent, polite, and well-behaved. We had a great visit and intend to go to church with them on Sunday.
Saturday (1/3), I saw lots of babushkas outside our front door. I thought they were here to yell at us for Colin and Claire not buttoning their coats all the way. But as it turns out there was a funeral right outside our front door. A woman on the first floor of our building had died we found out. The tradition here is to have an open casket service outside the home of the deceased, then process to the graveyard. As Nancy mentioned earlier, the funerals often involve lots of drinking as with all the atheism in the country, they don't have a lot of hope for the deceased or for themselves.
We weren't sure of the proper etiquette, but did not think it would be appropriate to walk right by the casket while services were going on, so we waited. But I did take a few surreptitious photos from our window. So at the risk of being crass, I will post those. I hope this doesn't bother anyone.
Unfortunately, the days are starting to run together a bit, but I'll do my best to keep them straight.
We went back to the orphanage on Friday of course. We are now in our 10 day waiting period (which is 12 days since the 10 days ends on a Saturday). This was our first visit without Natasha there to translate for us. It was a bit of a struggle, but we got through it.
The women at the orphanage know what to do when we see them, so that is no problem. The boys were happy to see us. Valik thought his car was broken, but he just didn't understand how to charge the batteries. I saved the day on that one.
We got a 24 piece puzzle (with large pieces) for the boys to practice their puzzles. Valik was not interested, but Ruslan was happy to try it. He needed a little help (he still doesn't understand the concept of edge pieces), but he got it. He was pretty proud about that.
We played more of the same games in the same room. While they are fun, they are getting a little old to us. There are, after all, only about 6 hiding places in that big room, and they are all well known. Still, the boys like it (hide and seek is still their favorite) and so we have fun with them.
I bought several books for the boys a couple of days ago, but we decided to hold those for the train.
We are now in the slowly phasing in discipline and slowly phasing out presents part. But we see this as a couple month process really.
We also decided to only visit the boys for a couple of hours a day to try to keep them fresh and to minimize any problems. We also try to visit the boys separately when possible to keep the sibling rivalry down.
After a couple of hours, we went to visit the MacDonalds. We had heard of them from some friends and met them briefly on Christmas Day. But this was our first chance to spend any time with them.
They are (most recently) from Chattanooga, TN. They have been here for almost 4 years as missionaries (On Point for Christ) supported by several churches in their area. Bruce retired from the Army after 30 years as a Russian linguist then a recruiter. He and his wife Pia have 12 kids. 5 are in the Army with all in, or soon to be in, Iraq or Afghanistan. Their other 7 live in Lutugino and range from 17 to 1 1/2.
They bought an (unfinished) house for about $8500 a few years ago. There are lots of unfinished houses in the area that had been started in the 1990s (I think) when the economy was better. When the economy fell, the houses were abandoned and mostly sit empty though the ones in their area seem to be used. But there are hundreds of very large and nice houses in Lugansk that have been empty for years. They have done pretty well on that one since then though and are just finishing up the last room inside.
We ended up staying there for about 5 or 6 hours (and so did not return to the orphanage as we had planned). They have a tough mission here but are making some headway in town. It is difficult to make inroads as most in the area are Orthodox or atheist (or simply not interested). However, there are a couple of churches in the area that have welcomed their assistance. They also work in the summer with visiting teams and assist with a Christian camp. They also help raise money for local hospitals and schools and run eyeglass clinics for locals which are very well received. From the comments of others I have heard as well as their relationship with the mayor of Lutugino, I think they are making good headway.
They certainly are doing a good job with their kids. All are intelligent, polite, and well-behaved. We had a great visit and intend to go to church with them on Sunday.
Saturday (1/3), I saw lots of babushkas outside our front door. I thought they were here to yell at us for Colin and Claire not buttoning their coats all the way. But as it turns out there was a funeral right outside our front door. A woman on the first floor of our building had died we found out. The tradition here is to have an open casket service outside the home of the deceased, then process to the graveyard. As Nancy mentioned earlier, the funerals often involve lots of drinking as with all the atheism in the country, they don't have a lot of hope for the deceased or for themselves.
We weren't sure of the proper etiquette, but did not think it would be appropriate to walk right by the casket while services were going on, so we waited. But I did take a few surreptitious photos from our window. So at the risk of being crass, I will post those. I hope this doesn't bother anyone.
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