Thursday, January 1, 2009
Sorry for the delays...
Even so, I did manage to get a bunch of pictures into a draft the other night. Now I'll try to add a little commentary before the steam is shut off for the night.
The next few pictures show Valik and Ruslan on one of the sleds we bought for the school. This was when Valik was flipping the bird. He actually got one in a picture which I have edited strategically. It is after the one where he is doing the bat-tusi. You can see his hands are a blur as he tries to trick me in some pictures.
Notice how Ruslan is holding a bag in almost every picture? He brings his bag of stuff to every visit. It contains pretty much all the little gifts we have given him in the past 2 weeks, including the original packaging. When he is outside, he will not put the bag down.
A pretty good shot of Claire and me, even though I am having a bad hair day. It usually starts out good until the boys get hold of it. It's a lost cause after that, I actually need to get a haircut, but I am worried how it will come out here, since I can't explain myself.
Notice all the shots of the boys taking pictures. We try to take pictures of the boys as much as possible (since we were first allowed to on Christmas Day). However, it is difficult as 1) the boys are rarely still long enough when they are playing, 2) we are not allowed to have pictures of other children (as explained in an earlier post), and 3) once the boys see the camera, they want to take hold the camera and take pictures and do nothing else. We are slowly building a library of shots, but it takes a while.
In the inside pictures, you can see how excited the boys are about their glow-in-the-dark bugs we got them. They kept putting my coat over their heads and going "Wow!". I included a few of these even though most are blurry and over-exposed.
Soap bubbles were also a big hit.
The green building is where they sleep. Ruslan is in one wing of the building and Valik in another. We have not been in their room, though we got to see a representative bedroom (7' x 7' for 2 boys, including 2 short beds, a small dresser and wardrobe).
Nancy and I are not making peace signs. We are telling Ruslan he can take 2 more pictures before he has to give the camera back.
Our first picture of Ruslan. He is wearing his pig costume for the Christmas play
And a picture of Ruslan during his melt-down (when he thought we were only here to see Valik)
A Happy New Years Eve
The court hearing went well thanks to Natasha. She's terrific. I cannot convey fully my admiration and gratitude about this woman for how well she has handled our adoption paperwork, our travel necessities and us. She's a Christian woman who prayed with us and handled our introduction to Ukrainian culture with humor and aplomb. Thanks Natasha.
The judge spent more time talking to me than to Nick. This is unfortunate because Nick is a better spokesman. They must recognize that I'll initially spend more time with the boys after the adoption. Then he went so far as to ask my thoughts about President Yuschenko? "He's been spending a lot of time in America lately, what do you think of that?" I smiled and told him i thought Ukrainian politics were confusing. Lutugino is only 20 miles from Russia and their politics here are very pro Russian. "No comment" sounded too crisp, so I went with the "confusing" statement.
Then our boys arrived. I will always remember the door opening and their shining faces. Valik remembered to keep his hands by his sides and Ruslan's behavior was one of importance. After the verdict was read we gathered in the front office and gave the boys hugs and swings, wished everyone a Happy New Year passed out chocolates and gum. Valik even went over to the judge and gave him some gum.
Next we had to take the boys back to the orphanage. This was a big event for them because we rode in a car!!! "WOW!" the boys kept saying as we put them in their seats. More "WOW!" as we started driving through Lutugino. They even waved occasionally out the window. Valik didn't want to put on the seatbelt but we eventually compromised with a lap belt. I have a lot of work ahead to help him become accustomed to American ways.
In Ukraine, the big Christmas time holiday is New Years. This is when children receive their presents. After court we gave the boys their big gifts: REMOTE CONTROL DANCING TRUCKS! I think Nick and I could have disappeared and fallen off the planet, because nothing else mattered to these boys for a long time. The trucks spin, race, pop wheelies, and make noise. Wow!
Colin and Claire were overjoyed with the news when we returned. I don't think they ever doubted we'd eventually be a family.
Last night was New Years Eve Lugansk style. People celebrate the new year with fireworks in their back yards. Not little ones, mind you, but the big up in the sky powerful ones. We looked out the window at midnight marveling at a sight we'd never get to see in Charlotte because of their ridiculous firework safety laws. (There, I made a political comment, but seriously they are stupid and rarely enforced.) While we watched, pieces of fireworks fell over the top of our apartment building and landed in the snowy driveway. I'm sure there are many people in Lugansk nursing hangovers today, but nevertheless, we plan on going out to enjoy a walk later.
Happy New Year
Nancy
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
The verdict is in....
The boys said yes. The court said yes. So pending a 10 day waiting period (+ 2 days since it is on a weekend) for any family objections, the boys are ours.
So who are they?
Well, R (formerly known as Ruslan Igorovich Burlachenko) is now Thomas Ruslan Combs, born 01/27/99.
V (formerly known Valentin Igorovich Podolyak) is now Robert Valentin Combs, born 11/04/2001.
We chose their American names after Tom Combs (my dad) and Robert Steel (Nancy's dad). We definitely wanted to keep their Ukrainian names, but felt they should have an American name so they won't seem out of place. As far as I am concerned (for now at least), we will use Ruslan and Valik (the diminutive form of Valentin)
From BehindtheName.com
Gender: Masculine
Usage: Scandinavian, German, French, Czech, Russian, Bulgarian, Slovene, Romanian
Other Scripts: Валентин (Russian, Bulgarian)
Pronounced: VAH-len-teen (German), vah-lyen-TEEN (Russian), vah-leen-TEEN (Russian) [key]
All that said, here is the first official picture (with lots more to follow). That's Valik on the left and Ruslan on the right.
The long arm of the law....
We were just leaving, so scrambled to Lutugino as fast as possible. We had to have a driver go to the train station for us to pick up some documents that were sent overnight from Kyiv. Only one of 2 required documents was ready (and on the train). the other still lacked a signature from the SDA, so we were hoping the judge would give us some leniency.
Natasha had briefed us well on the court procedure, so we were ready for the judge's questions. In many ways, at this point the procedure is a formality. However, there was always the possibility of 1) the judge requiring the missing paperwork from the SDA, 2) our making some horrible breach of etiquette, 3) someone protesting the adoption itself, or 4) one of the boys deciding he did not want to be adopted by us. We said many prayers, but left it in God's hands, so felt confident.
We arrived at the court at 10am and scrambled into the judges chamber. In the room were Nancy and I, Natasha, the judge, a court reporter, the assistant inspector, the assistant director of the orphanage, the prosecutor, and 2 witnesses. The boys were not yet in the chamber. We also decided it best to leave Colin and Claire at the flat, but had them on call in case the judge requested their appearance.
The hearing began very formally and the judge seemed rather harsh. I think he was a bit perturbed as he had been expecting us earlier, and they were all trying to get out for the New Year's holiday. However, he very quickly warmed to us, and within minutes was quite jovial.
The hearing began with some legal talk for the record, and stated for the record the status of the biological parents. Then we each stated our name, date, and place of birth. To minimize time, the judge read our petition which requested several things:
- That we be allowed to adopt the boys,
- That their last name be changed to Combs
- That their first and middle name be changed and the patronymic named dropped
- That we be named their parents
- That their birthdate and place remain unchanged
- That their birth certificate be reissued with their new names
With preliminaries out of the way, the judge asked a series of questions.
- Why are we adopting?
- Why are we adopting from Ukraine?
- Why not adopt from Nicaragua, America, or somewhere else?
- Describe ourselves and our family
- How do our children and family feel about the adoption?
- Describe our education and professional history
- Describe our income
- What taxes did I pay on my income last year?
- What does the average family in the US make?
- Do we have any cattle?
- How much does the US government spend on support for the poor and homeless?
- Do we know what the average person in Ukraine makes and what the tax rate here is?
- What do we think about Ukrainian politics?
- Do we think we are prepared to be parent to 4 children and understand the difference of raising adopted children?
- What are our views on discipline? Do we intend to torture the children?
- Do we intend to treat the new children differently?
We were each to stand as we were addressed by the judge. Nancy was asked questions first, and the judge did not dismiss her. So rightly, or wrongly, she was asked most of the questions (except the tax questions). Perhaps I should have stood up to answer, but I did not want to breach protocol. Besides, she was doing a great job, so I got to sit back and admire her effort.
The Nicaragua question came up as we had shown the judge and witnesses our picture book. For those that may read this in the future, you absolutely should make a picture book and show it to as pretty much every official you see. Ukrainians do love to share pictures and it really helps develop a bond. We saw the demeanor of everyone soften each time they saw the book. Ours happened to be 1/2 of our home and family and 1/2 of a short-term mission trip we took to Nicaraguan orphanages about 4 years ago.
The taxes and average income questions I think raised from the judges desire to make sure we understood cultural differences. He said my tax rate in Ukraine would have been about 80%. Yikes. Also, I think it was to see how we reacted to the average salary in Ukraine in comparison to the US. I mentioned being from a small town and below-average income growing up. the political questions were to make a point along the lines of, "we are very much alike (Americans and Ukrainians), and are family-oriented. Don't believe everything you hear". Nancy and responded (masterfully, and truthfully) to the question on Ukrainian politics, saying "Honestly, I don't always understand it." Not only did it avoid any Ukrainian vs Russian issues (the country is very proud of its heritage, but the eastern portion is also very pro-Moscow), but I think they appreciated the humility and recognition of the complexities of political life.
The cattle question I think was a little tongue in cheek as a result of their looking at the pictures of our back yard (which is fairly large).
I assume every question or rule arises for a reason. So the question about torture was interesting. Apparently, someone adopted a Russian child a few years ago and they were abused and murdered. Obviously, our answer was no. We emphasized the key was to have rules and to ensure the children understand the rules and the consequence (lost privilege) of breaching them.
Finally he asked some more formalities such as do we support the petition, are we aware of the children's medical records, are we aware of our responsibilities as parents.
Satisfied with those responses, the boys were escorted in. They stood at attention, with big grins on their faces. R was asked questions first. Meanwhile V got a little squirmy on the seat.
"Do you want to go to the America with the Combs'?" "Da"
"Are you ready to leave the orphanage and Ukraine?" "Da"
"What will you do in America?" "I will help Mama and Papa." (I meant to get a recording of that for future use, but forgot).
V straightened up when it was his turn. Same questions, same answers.
After a short recess, we were read the verdict....
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Court is tomorrow (Wednesday)!
The boys must consent as well. They seem excited about being adopted by us. I think we have a great connection, but you never know with little boys. Please keep us in your prayers. We hope that their answer is use, but simply pray that God's will be done.
Today we visited the boys for a couple of hours. We bought sleds for R and V's classes and delivered them. We gave the sleds a good trial on the playground. The boys gave me a good workout.
We also got their passport photos done. The boys behaved perfectly. They wanted to get to the toy store, but Natasha told them "Business first". R said, "I understand business first, but after that can we look at toys?" They both sat up straight and gave killer smiles for their photo. They may be the first people in history to have a good passport photo. (My recent one is not horrible. My previous one made me look like a thug).
The boys also made a special request for a New Year's present. We got them each a remote controlled truck that does wheelies and lights up. It also makes a loud obnoxious noise. I won't be surprised to see the speakers get mysteriously damaged.... Father Frost will be making that delivery tomorrow.
We got a bit more info about the post-court date period. The 10 day wait ends (of course) on 1/10/ But that is a Saturday, so the paperwork (and the really, real official adoption) won't be completed until Monday 1/12. At that point the boys will stay with us.
We then need to get revised birth certificates, but those aren't done on Monday, so that will have to wait until Tuesday. Then, we can apply for a Ukrainian social security number (Not sure why, but I think it is because the boys still retain their Ukrainian citizenship until their 18th birthday). But those aren't issued on Tuesdays so we will have to wait until Wednesday.
After that, we can apply for a Ukrainian passport. Apparently there are 2 types of passports as Ukraine is transitioning their passport standard (just like the US is doing). The old type will take about a day. The new type will take about 10 days. I'm not sure where this area is in the transition. We, of course, hope that the old type will be sufficient. If not, we will probably end up taking a short vacation somewhere in Ukraine.
After that, we will return to Kyiv for several days of final processing.
I tried on fur coats
We also tried on fur coats for me. Again, I'd rather not purchase a coat without Natasha there because she has an excellent eye for the quality. Suprisingly, the type of coat I thought I'd want didn't look that great on me instead of a whiskey brown mink, I found I enjoyed a bluish silver with my coloring etc. Of course I tried on this one coat from heaven, it was a sheared mink that they also embossed a pattern into the fur. Amazing! And a steal too. Unfortunately this coat was still out of my budget but none the less, for a minute there, I was in heaven. I told Natasha how in America there are animal wacko groups that will throw blood or paint on your coat, and she looked mortified.
We finished off with a trip to a lovely tea house. My tea was a special winter blend mixed with honey and I loved it! I don't think I can buy it and bring it home though. Claire liked it too and wants to go back and have another cup. We all wished grandma could be with us knowing how much she likes a good cup of tea. love to all Nancy
Monday, December 29, 2008
I'm Going on the Ukrainian Pro-Bowlers Tour
We went bowling today. One lane for 4 of us for 2 hours, plus shoe rental and four sodas totaled about $16. Not too bad.
The coolest thing though was I was the best bowler there. By far. I averaged about 153 (better than usual I admit). But if the local skill was any indicator (the gutters were well worn; much more than the lanes were), I think I could qualify for the PBA in Ukraine.
Claire actually has a nice hook on her ball. I never could do that and gave up long ago, which is why I will never get into upper 100s. Nancy actually showed she is ambidextrous, making a spare with her left hand.
Her are a few shots.
Afterward we picked up a few groceries and the girls are out shopping. By the way, the old stereotype about grocery stores in the former Soviet countries is not true, or at least no longer is true. They have lots of real supermarkets with good selections. Not as big as a Harris-Teeter or Winn Dixie (about 1/3 the size), but plenty large, especially given the small flat and small refrigerators. We have to go every day to stay in stock. A bit of a time-waster, but there it is.
As I mentioned a few days ago, the food is inexpensive. Especially sweets and chocolates (which are excellent here). Also cheeses and various meats (you know, the typical European salami) are very inexpensive as well.
Anyway, just a few notes today. We were going a bit stir crazy and wanted to see more of the city. The boys are on their rescheduled trip to the circus.
We will visit them tomorrow for our last big visit before court. Please keep us in your prayers
For the Lutugino Fan Club
The picture is of the official Lutugino emblem. You can also see it on the sign of entrance to the town. The sign below says "Lutugino, Our Town".
Apparently they are fans of Thornton Wilder.
From the site of Ukrainian Heraldry:
"It was confirmed by the decision of city council session at September, 27th, 2002. The shield per pale by or gear pale on a sable field with fillet wavy argent columns and a gules field. The emblem adorned by argent decorative cartouche and crowned by argent city crown. Below it are crosswised argent pick and hammer, twisted by yellow-red-black tape with black inscription "LYTYHYNE". The authors are O.A.Zhytnychenko and A.V.Zakorets'kyi. Main areas of the industry of city are coal and metallurgical. Therefore the shield divided on sable (coal) and gules (fire). The city carries a name of the scientist-geologist which carefully studied geology of territory. Therefore on a sable background are argent wavy lines which symbolize geological structure of district, rich on a deposit of coal, limestone, sand and clay. The city is obliged by iron-works and rollers manufacture. The gear column symbolizes a product of this enterprise - rollers, and or colouring specifies high quality of production. Besides the gear column associates with coal output (the mine conveyor, a combine etc.) The Belgian contribution to the industry of territory at 1898 (a payment of the Belgian joint-stock company in construction of a factory) is displayed in a colourful palette of the city arm: black-red-yellow are colors of Belgium flag which more than hundred years ago counted significant territory of Donbas as "the tenth province ". Due to this contribution of Donbas became advanced industrial territory. A pick and hammer symbolize geological researches and coal."
Dov Gutterman, 8 June 2003
The City
From the site of Ukrainian Heraldry:
"The history of city began since construction of blast furnaces and specialized iron-works factories near Uspenka village by the Belgian joint-stock company. Eighteen years settlement were without a name. The further growth of settlement depend on construction on its territory at 1914 Shmidtivka station. At 1925 factory settlement and station was given a name of oustanding scientist - geologist L.I.Lutugin."
Dov Gutterman, 8 June 2003
A couple of random shots of Lutugino on Christmas Day
Is it rude or funny?
Natasha helped us explain how ugly that gesture was, and eventually V gave in and made the two finger "peace" sign. We'll post that photo as soon as we are able.
The boys are supposed to be going to the circus today, so we won't go visit them. We plan on taking Claire shopping and perhaps visiting the famous Lugansk museum. We have to do something or else get cabin fever. Boy is it cold out there. love to all Nancy
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Two Quick Visits
However, this particular orphanage is very protective of the children. That means that we are confined to a relatively small area (one we have been in for a week now), though with each step we are allowed more latitude. We are kind of running out of things to do with them in that area given 1) the language barrier, 2) their attention span, and 3) since there is a classroom adjacent, we have to keep the noise down.
So our thought is let's be conservative so nothing goes wrong before the court date. I understand some may disagree with that approach, but we don't want to get delayed an additional 2 weeks (over the holidays) if one of the boys gets jealous or something. Besides, we are spending a good amount of time anyway and will have even more very soon.
Anyway, we did more of the same. More Stop / Go (i.e., red light / green light), more Duck Duck Goose, and more Hide and Seek. We also let the boys take a few pictures.
Nearby is a picture of the road to Lutigino. I think somehow Hope and Crosby overlooked that sure-fire blockbuster.
We brought Colin yesterday and Claire today. The boys are really taking to both of them well. Nearby is a shot of Nancy and Claire waiting for the boys today. This is in the building where they sleep.
Today, Nancy did a little more mime, as did V. I did a little juggling for them, but then they wanted to try. Not so good an idea in a small classroom when you are using oranges. We tried reading a story, but there was too much going on. We showed the boys the pictures from home again. They can't get enough of that. We were in the classroom again today instead of the big waiting room. That's where we had trouble with V last week. I think the small size of the room is not good, as most of the fun games we play require more space.
We played outside for about 45 minutes, pulling the boys on sled, and letting them take more pictures. It was really cold today though (about 15 degrees), especially after I loaned my gloves to R.
The pictures are a bit of a problem. Just like when we were in Nicaragua, the kids are fascinated by cameras, and want to take pictures of everything. That's ok, until it is time to share or to put the camera away. They push back on that one.
We did get some good pictures. I'll post them once we are able. But that's still a few days away. It seems that the older boys like to flip the bird in pictures though. And these kids have picked that up. Every time they did, I put the camera down and said "Nyet" firmly. They thought that was terribly funny. We told them that was ugly and they should not do it. Believe me, we will be working on that one, since that is about the most obscene gesture there is in my opinion.
We got the boys some little plastic glow in the dark bugs. They loved that. They kept putting my coat over their head so they could watch them glow.
They also really like soap bubbles. I'm not sure they had seen them before. V used up about 1/2 a bottle, though most of it I think is on the classroom floor.
One interesting thing has happened. I think it is caused by a combination of things. 1) Boys are more comfortable with us and so are not on best behavior, 2) the language barrier as we try to do more without Natasha (picture nearby), 3) each boy responding to how we react to the other boy.
Anyway, to a small degree, the boys are behaving somewhat like the other. V is calmer than last week, and is more verbal. He still can get wired, but overall is better behaved. R is acting more childishly and sort of quacks when he is playing (though he is still quite verbal most of the time). He is misbehaving a bit more too. I think he saw that V was getting more attention last week and is emulating him a bit. Also, we hear that orphans often regress somewhat as they bond with new parents, so that may be part of it too. I think the language barrier is part of the issue. We are trying to step up our efforts on language.
I don't want this to sound concerned, or that either boy is acting badly. It's just that we see this change on the margin. Both boys are still really great, and we continue to have lots of fun.
Coming Attractions
Court Hearing on 12/31. At this hearing the judge will ask a bunch of questions and go over paperwork. Assuming all is well, and that the boys say (again) that they want to be adopted by us, the court will decree us their parents (pending a 10 day waiting period).
10-day waiting period. The court decree does not become effective until after the waiting period. This is to give a chance for any family to step forward and object to the adoption. This is unlikely as the possible family that is known have already consented or do not have the right to object. Possible, but unlikely.
Government shutdown until 1/12. Civil servants are on holiday for New Year's and Christmas until 1/12. Once they return there is more paperwork to be done in Lutugino. Our facilitator estimates this should take from 3-10 days depending on how smoothly it goes. Once some level of documentation is done (not sure what, but out facilitator handles that), the boys will leave the orphanage and stay with us.
Somewhere between 1/15 and 1/22, we should have our local paperwork done and will head back to Kyiv. There we have to finalize paperwork with SDA, get medical check-up for the boys, get their Ukrainian passports (that might happen beforehand, not sure), and get a travel visa from the US embassy. That should take 3-7 days.
Somewhere between 1/18 and 1/29 we should be complete and will be able to head for the US.
So I assume we will be in US between 1/19 and 1/31 (adding a couple of days for schedule slack).
As I understand it, once the boys set foot on US soil, they become citizens.
Nothing can be definitive, especially with holidays around, but this is as close as we know.
Beautiful Downtown Lugansk
No one but me felt like running around town, so I suited up and went out to take pictures. We have gotten about 6 inches of snow over the last few days (quite a bit less than had been predicted).
Here are a few examples to give you a sense of the city. Lugansk seems ok, but a bit bleak. Still I think I got some good shots. Of course, the snow makes everything look better.
Here is a museum (and theater, I think) about 1/4 mile from our flat.
A street scene at the same location. There are lots of casinos in the area. Our driver said they are small time though.
A little further ahead is the football (soccer) stadium. You can see one of the old Soviet-style mosaics above the stadium. It has a huge Christmas tree in front (180 degrees from the previous photo)
ahead is a gymnasium of some sort. It is adjacent to the local university, and seems to have some Olympic record tied to it. It says something to the effect of "My dear homeland [something] record"
A view of one of the shopping districts, near the government buildings.
This appears to be a memorial to the Great Patriotic War (WW II). The inscription simply says 1941 1945.
These last 4 are various angles of a statue of Jesus and Mary. They have some deer decorations in the yard (apparently they have fewer problems with the lights on those than I do. Ours take hours of work every year.). The 3 girls in one picture are all about 13 years old. This seems to be a popular picture spot. I saw several people having pictures done there, including 1 wedding party. As I'm sure you are aware, Ukraine is primarily an Orthodox (either Russian Orthodox or Ukrainian Orthodox) country.