Holding

Hi all,

I've discovered a new form of discipline that has been efective with Valik. It's called holding, and i read about this years ago when i was studying for my masters in special ed. Basically when a child is out of control, you take them to a chair and sit them on your lap and hold them until they quiet down. Now the first time I tried this, he fought me and yelled. But now after practicing this for a few days, it is amazing the positive results we've achieved. He quieted down immediately the last two times I tried this! Then we sit quietly for about 5 minutes and when he's done he rejoins the family and all is well. We don't speak each others language, so just quieting him has been real helpful. I'm trying to teach this technique to Nick, because he really knows how to push Nicks buttons. However, I don't have as many buttons to push right now. For example, I am not correcting bad table manners yet. I have more important lessons to teach before I get to that. I just have to remind myself that they are orphans who have picked up a lot of bad behaviors over the past few years.

When I hold Valik or Ruslan, I take that time to pray over them. I ask the Holy Spirit to send him peace and serenity. I also ask Him for our son to be obedient and learn English quickly. Stuff like that. You know, when it comes to bad behaviors, all the different techniques like ignoring, time out, holding, and all the others all have their proper place in child rearing. The trick is figuring out which is most effective. So as for me, right now, holding plus a lot of praise for good behavior works best.

love to all,

Nancy