The verdict is in....

....And all is well!

The boys said yes. The court said yes. So pending a 10 day waiting period (+ 2 days since it is on a weekend) for any family objections, the boys are ours.

So who are they?

Well, R (formerly known as Ruslan Igorovich Burlachenko) is now Thomas Ruslan Combs, born 01/27/99.

V (formerly known Valentin Igorovich Podolyak) is now Robert Valentin Combs, born 11/04/2001.

We chose their American names after Tom Combs (my dad) and Robert Steel (Nancy's dad). We definitely wanted to keep their Ukrainian names, but felt they should have an American name so they won't seem out of place. As far as I am concerned (for now at least), we will use Ruslan and Valik (the diminutive form of Valentin)

From BehindtheName.com

RUSLAN

Gender: Masculine

Usage: Russian

Other Scripts: Руслан (Russian)

Pronounced: roo-SLAHN [key]

Meaning unknown. This name was used by Aleksandr Pushkin in his poem 'Ruslan and Ludmila' (1820).

VALENTIN

Gender: Masculine

Usage: Scandinavian, German, French, Czech, Russian, Bulgarian, Slovene, Romanian

Other Scripts: Валентин (Russian, Bulgarian)

Pronounced: VAH-len-teen (German), vah-lyen-TEEN (Russian), vah-leen-TEEN (Russian) [key]

Cognate of Valentinus (see VALENTINE (1)).

All that said, here is the first official picture (with lots more to follow). That's Valik on the left and Ruslan on the right.

The long arm of the law....

We had our court hearing a bit early today. It had been scheduled for 9:30, then was rescheduled for 11am. But at 9:30 the judge called wanting to know why we were not there. They (of course) were trying to wrap up for the year and appear to have had a pot-luck lunch scheduled.

We were just leaving, so scrambled to Lutugino as fast as possible. We had to have a driver go to the train station for us to pick up some documents that were sent overnight from Kyiv. Only one of 2 required documents was ready (and on the train). the other still lacked a signature from the SDA, so we were hoping the judge would give us some leniency.

Natasha had briefed us well on the court procedure, so we were ready for the judge's questions. In many ways, at this point the procedure is a formality. However, there was always the possibility of 1) the judge requiring the missing paperwork from the SDA, 2) our making some horrible breach of etiquette, 3) someone protesting the adoption itself, or 4) one of the boys deciding he did not want to be adopted by us. We said many prayers, but left it in God's hands, so felt confident.

We arrived at the court at 10am and scrambled into the judges chamber. In the room were Nancy and I, Natasha, the judge, a court reporter, the assistant inspector, the assistant director of the orphanage, the prosecutor, and 2 witnesses. The boys were not yet in the chamber. We also decided it best to leave Colin and Claire at the flat, but had them on call in case the judge requested their appearance.

The hearing began very formally and the judge seemed rather harsh. I think he was a bit perturbed as he had been expecting us earlier, and they were all trying to get out for the New Year's holiday. However, he very quickly warmed to us, and within minutes was quite jovial.

The hearing began with some legal talk for the record, and stated for the record the status of the biological parents. Then we each stated our name, date, and place of birth. To minimize time, the judge read our petition which requested several things:
- That we be allowed to adopt the boys,
- That their last name be changed to Combs
- That their first and middle name be changed and the patronymic named dropped
- That we be named their parents
- That their birthdate and place remain unchanged
- That their birth certificate be reissued with their new names

With preliminaries out of the way, the judge asked a series of questions.
- Why are we adopting?
- Why are we adopting from Ukraine?
- Why not adopt from Nicaragua, America, or somewhere else?
- Describe ourselves and our family
- How do our children and family feel about the adoption?
- Describe our education and professional history
- Describe our income
- What taxes did I pay on my income last year?
- What does the average family in the US make?
- Do we have any cattle?
- How much does the US government spend on support for the poor and homeless?
- Do we know what the average person in Ukraine makes and what the tax rate here is?
- What do we think about Ukrainian politics?
- Do we think we are prepared to be parent to 4 children and understand the difference of raising adopted children?
- What are our views on discipline? Do we intend to torture the children?
- Do we intend to treat the new children differently?

We were each to stand as we were addressed by the judge. Nancy was asked questions first, and the judge did not dismiss her. So rightly, or wrongly, she was asked most of the questions (except the tax questions). Perhaps I should have stood up to answer, but I did not want to breach protocol. Besides, she was doing a great job, so I got to sit back and admire her effort.

The Nicaragua question came up as we had shown the judge and witnesses our picture book. For those that may read this in the future, you absolutely should make a picture book and show it to as pretty much every official you see. Ukrainians do love to share pictures and it really helps develop a bond. We saw the demeanor of everyone soften each time they saw the book. Ours happened to be 1/2 of our home and family and 1/2 of a short-term mission trip we took to Nicaraguan orphanages about 4 years ago.

The taxes and average income questions I think raised from the judges desire to make sure we understood cultural differences. He said my tax rate in Ukraine would have been about 80%. Yikes. Also, I think it was to see how we reacted to the average salary in Ukraine in comparison to the US. I mentioned being from a small town and below-average income growing up. the political questions were to make a point along the lines of, "we are very much alike (Americans and Ukrainians), and are family-oriented. Don't believe everything you hear". Nancy and responded (masterfully, and truthfully) to the question on Ukrainian politics, saying "Honestly, I don't always understand it." Not only did it avoid any Ukrainian vs Russian issues (the country is very proud of its heritage, but the eastern portion is also very pro-Moscow), but I think they appreciated the humility and recognition of the complexities of political life.

The cattle question I think was a little tongue in cheek as a result of their looking at the pictures of our back yard (which is fairly large).

I assume every question or rule arises for a reason. So the question about torture was interesting. Apparently, someone adopted a Russian child a few years ago and they were abused and murdered. Obviously, our answer was no. We emphasized the key was to have rules and to ensure the children understand the rules and the consequence (lost privilege) of breaching them.

Finally he asked some more formalities such as do we support the petition, are we aware of the children's medical records, are we aware of our responsibilities as parents.

Satisfied with those responses, the boys were escorted in. They stood at attention, with big grins on their faces. R was asked questions first. Meanwhile V got a little squirmy on the seat.

"Do you want to go to the America with the Combs'?" "Da"
"Are you ready to leave the orphanage and Ukraine?" "Da"
"What will you do in America?" "I will help Mama and Papa." (I meant to get a recording of that for future use, but forgot).

V straightened up when it was his turn. Same questions, same answers.

After a short recess, we were read the verdict....

Court is tomorrow (Wednesday)!

We have our court date tomorrow (Wednesday) at 11:30. This is to make the adoption legal. We will be asked a series of questions as to our ability to parent the boys and we make our petition to adopt them, to change their last name to ours, etc.

The boys must consent as well. They seem excited about being adopted by us. I think we have a great connection, but you never know with little boys. Please keep us in your prayers. We hope that their answer is use, but simply pray that God's will be done.

Today we visited the boys for a couple of hours. We bought sleds for R and V's classes and delivered them. We gave the sleds a good trial on the playground. The boys gave me a good workout.

We also got their passport photos done. The boys behaved perfectly. They wanted to get to the toy store, but Natasha told them "Business first". R said, "I understand business first, but after that can we look at toys?" They both sat up straight and gave killer smiles for their photo. They may be the first people in history to have a good passport photo. (My recent one is not horrible. My previous one made me look like a thug).

The boys also made a special request for a New Year's present. We got them each a remote controlled truck that does wheelies and lights up. It also makes a loud obnoxious noise. I won't be surprised to see the speakers get mysteriously damaged.... Father Frost will be making that delivery tomorrow.

We got a bit more info about the post-court date period. The 10 day wait ends (of course) on 1/10/ But that is a Saturday, so the paperwork (and the really, real official adoption) won't be completed until Monday 1/12. At that point the boys will stay with us.

We then need to get revised birth certificates, but those aren't done on Monday, so that will have to wait until Tuesday. Then, we can apply for a Ukrainian social security number (Not sure why, but I think it is because the boys still retain their Ukrainian citizenship until their 18th birthday). But those aren't issued on Tuesdays so we will have to wait until Wednesday.

After that, we can apply for a Ukrainian passport. Apparently there are 2 types of passports as Ukraine is transitioning their passport standard (just like the US is doing). The old type will take about a day. The new type will take about 10 days. I'm not sure where this area is in the transition. We, of course, hope that the old type will be sufficient. If not, we will probably end up taking a short vacation somewhere in Ukraine.

After that, we will return to Kyiv for several days of final processing.

I tried on fur coats

Natasha, Claire and I went shopping in Lugansk yesterday after all the fun we had bowling. Natasha has a wonderful eye for fashion and quality. We were both impressed with a boutique called BGN at the mall. Beautiful silk blouses and nice designs. You needed a great figure to pull off much of their clothing. However it seems that most of Ukrainian women can provide that.

We also tried on fur coats for me. Again, I'd rather not purchase a coat without Natasha there because she has an excellent eye for the quality. Suprisingly, the type of coat I thought I'd want didn't look that great on me instead of a whiskey brown mink, I found I enjoyed a bluish silver with my coloring etc. Of course I tried on this one coat from heaven, it was a sheared mink that they also embossed a pattern into the fur. Amazing! And a steal too. Unfortunately this coat was still out of my budget but none the less, for a minute there, I was in heaven. I told Natasha how in America there are animal wacko groups that will throw blood or paint on your coat, and she looked mortified.

We finished off with a trip to a lovely tea house. My tea was a special winter blend mixed with honey and I loved it! I don't think I can buy it and bring it home though. Claire liked it too and wants to go back and have another cup. We all wished grandma could be with us knowing how much she likes a good cup of tea. love to all Nancy

I'm Going on the Ukrainian Pro-Bowlers Tour

We went bowling today. One lane for 4 of us for 2 hours, plus shoe rental and four sodas totaled about $16. Not too bad.

The coolest thing though was I was the best bowler there. By far. I averaged about 153 (better than usual I admit). But if the local skill was any indicator (the gutters were well worn; much more than the lanes were), I think I could qualify for the PBA in Ukraine.

Claire actually has a nice hook on her ball. I never could do that and gave up long ago, which is why I will never get into upper 100s. Nancy actually showed she is ambidextrous, making a spare with her left hand.

Her are a few shots.


Afterward we picked up a few groceries and the girls are out shopping. By the way, the old stereotype about grocery stores in the former Soviet countries is not true, or at least no longer is true. They have lots of real supermarkets with good selections. Not as big as a Harris-Teeter or Winn Dixie (about 1/3 the size), but plenty large, especially given the small flat and small refrigerators. We have to go every day to stay in stock. A bit of a time-waster, but there it is.

As I mentioned a few days ago, the food is inexpensive. Especially sweets and chocolates (which are excellent here). Also cheeses and various meats (you know, the typical European salami) are very inexpensive as well.

Anyway, just a few notes today. We were going a bit stir crazy and wanted to see more of the city. The boys are on their rescheduled trip to the circus.

We will visit them tomorrow for our last big visit before court. Please keep us in your prayers

For the Lutugino Fan Club

The picture is of the official Lutugino emblem. You can also see it on the sign of entrance to the town. The sign below says "Lutugino, Our Town".

Apparently they are fans of Thornton Wilder.

From the site of Ukrainian Heraldry:
"It was confirmed by the decision of city council session at September, 27th, 2002. The shield per pale by or gear pale on a sable field with fillet wavy argent columns and a gules field. The emblem adorned by argent decorative cartouche and crowned by argent city crown. Below it are crosswised argent pick and hammer, twisted by yellow-red-black tape with black inscription "LYTYHYNE". The authors are O.A.Zhytnychenko and A.V.Zakorets'kyi. Main areas of the industry of city are coal and metallurgical. Therefore the shield divided on sable (coal) and gules (fire). The city carries a name of the scientist-geologist which carefully studied geology of territory. Therefore on a sable background are argent wavy lines which symbolize geological structure of district, rich on a deposit of coal, limestone, sand and clay. The city is obliged by iron-works and rollers manufacture. The gear column symbolizes a product of this enterprise - rollers, and or colouring specifies high quality of production. Besides the gear column associates with coal output (the mine conveyor, a combine etc.) The Belgian contribution to the industry of territory at 1898 (a payment of the Belgian joint-stock company in construction of a factory) is displayed in a colourful palette of the city arm: black-red-yellow are colors of Belgium flag which more than hundred years ago counted significant territory of Donbas as "the tenth province ". Due to this contribution of Donbas became advanced industrial territory. A pick and hammer symbolize geological researches and coal."
Dov Gutterman, 8 June 2003

---

The City

From the site of Ukrainian Heraldry:
"The history of city began since construction of blast furnaces and specialized iron-works factories near Uspenka village by the Belgian joint-stock company. Eighteen years settlement were without a name. The further growth of settlement depend on construction on its territory at 1914 Shmidtivka station. At 1925 factory settlement and station was given a name of oustanding scientist - geologist L.I.Lutugin."
Dov Gutterman, 8 June 2003

A couple of random shots of Lutugino on Christmas Day

Is it rude or funny?

Well, yesterday was funny. We took Claire with us yesterday to play with the boys. We are alternating the kids coming along so we can save on taxis. We played out doors in the snow. we pulled V on the sled which rapidly became a workout, while R kept taking pictures. R's little fingers got red with the cold,but he didn't care. Then we managed to get both boys on the sled, pull them up a tiny incline, run and push them down as fast as possible. Not exactly Carrowinds but still our best effort. With the boys sitting in the sled, Nick went for the photo. V flipped the bird at the camera! I couldn't believe it! Nick kept saying "Nyet" and refusing to take the picture. I said "nyet" too but all V could do was smile. Then I looked at Claire who was laughing her head off.

Natasha helped us explain how ugly that gesture was, and eventually V gave in and made the two finger "peace" sign. We'll post that photo as soon as we are able.

The boys are supposed to be going to the circus today, so we won't go visit them. We plan on taking Claire shopping and perhaps visiting the famous Lugansk museum. We have to do something or else get cabin fever. Boy is it cold out there. love to all Nancy

Two Quick Visits

Saturday and Sunday we made two brief (~2 hour) visits with the boys. We decided to keep our visits before the court date relatively short. We want to see the boys of course.

However, this particular orphanage is very protective of the children. That means that we are confined to a relatively small area (one we have been in for a week now), though with each step we are allowed more latitude. We are kind of running out of things to do with them in that area given 1) the language barrier, 2) their attention span, and 3) since there is a classroom adjacent, we have to keep the noise down.

So our thought is let's be conservative so nothing goes wrong before the court date. I understand some may disagree with that approach, but we don't want to get delayed an additional 2 weeks (over the holidays) if one of the boys gets jealous or something. Besides, we are spending a good amount of time anyway and will have even more very soon.

Anyway, we did more of the same. More Stop / Go (i.e., red light / green light), more Duck Duck Goose, and more Hide and Seek. We also let the boys take a few pictures.

Nearby is a picture of the road to Lutigino. I think somehow Hope and Crosby overlooked that sure-fire blockbuster.

We brought Colin yesterday and Claire today. The boys are really taking to both of them well. Nearby is a shot of Nancy and Claire waiting for the boys today. This is in the building where they sleep.

Today, Nancy did a little more mime, as did V. I did a little juggling for them, but then they wanted to try. Not so good an idea in a small classroom when you are using oranges. We tried reading a story, but there was too much going on. We showed the boys the pictures from home again. They can't get enough of that. We were in the classroom again today instead of the big waiting room. That's where we had trouble with V last week. I think the small size of the room is not good, as most of the fun games we play require more space.

We played outside for about 45 minutes, pulling the boys on sled, and letting them take more pictures. It was really cold today though (about 15 degrees), especially after I loaned my gloves to R.

The pictures are a bit of a problem. Just like when we were in Nicaragua, the kids are fascinated by cameras, and want to take pictures of everything. That's ok, until it is time to share or to put the camera away. They push back on that one.

We did get some good pictures. I'll post them once we are able. But that's still a few days away. It seems that the older boys like to flip the bird in pictures though. And these kids have picked that up. Every time they did, I put the camera down and said "Nyet" firmly. They thought that was terribly funny. We told them that was ugly and they should not do it. Believe me, we will be working on that one, since that is about the most obscene gesture there is in my opinion.

We got the boys some little plastic glow in the dark bugs. They loved that. They kept putting my coat over their head so they could watch them glow.

They also really like soap bubbles. I'm not sure they had seen them before. V used up about 1/2 a bottle, though most of it I think is on the classroom floor.

One interesting thing has happened. I think it is caused by a combination of things. 1) Boys are more comfortable with us and so are not on best behavior, 2) the language barrier as we try to do more without Natasha (picture nearby), 3) each boy responding to how we react to the other boy.

Anyway, to a small degree, the boys are behaving somewhat like the other. V is calmer than last week, and is more verbal. He still can get wired, but overall is better behaved. R is acting more childishly and sort of quacks when he is playing (though he is still quite verbal most of the time). He is misbehaving a bit more too. I think he saw that V was getting more attention last week and is emulating him a bit. Also, we hear that orphans often regress somewhat as they bond with new parents, so that may be part of it too. I think the language barrier is part of the issue. We are trying to step up our efforts on language.

I don't want this to sound concerned, or that either boy is acting badly. It's just that we see this change on the margin. Both boys are still really great, and we continue to have lots of fun.

Coming Attractions

Well, nothing can be set in stone, but here is a rough idea of the agenda from here.

Court Hearing on 12/31. At this hearing the judge will ask a bunch of questions and go over paperwork. Assuming all is well, and that the boys say (again) that they want to be adopted by us, the court will decree us their parents (pending a 10 day waiting period).

10-day waiting period. The court decree does not become effective until after the waiting period. This is to give a chance for any family to step forward and object to the adoption. This is unlikely as the possible family that is known have already consented or do not have the right to object. Possible, but unlikely.

Government shutdown until 1/12. Civil servants are on holiday for New Year's and Christmas until 1/12. Once they return there is more paperwork to be done in Lutugino. Our facilitator estimates this should take from 3-10 days depending on how smoothly it goes. Once some level of documentation is done (not sure what, but out facilitator handles that), the boys will leave the orphanage and stay with us.

Somewhere between 1/15 and 1/22, we should have our local paperwork done and will head back to Kyiv. There we have to finalize paperwork with SDA, get medical check-up for the boys, get their Ukrainian passports (that might happen beforehand, not sure), and get a travel visa from the US embassy. That should take 3-7 days.

Somewhere between 1/18 and 1/29 we should be complete and will be able to head for the US.

So I assume we will be in US between 1/19 and 1/31 (adding a couple of days for schedule slack).

As I understand it, once the boys set foot on US soil, they become citizens.

Nothing can be definitive, especially with holidays around, but this is as close as we know.

Beautiful Downtown Lugansk

On Friday, we had a day off as the boys were going with their school to the circus in Lugansk. At least they were supposed to. We found out on Saturday that the circus trip had been postponed to Monday. On 12/24, a five story apartment building blew up (due apparently to leaky oxygen or acetylene tanks in the basement) killing at least 22 people. A national day of mourning was declared for Friday.

No one but me felt like running around town, so I suited up and went out to take pictures. We have gotten about 6 inches of snow over the last few days (quite a bit less than had been predicted).

Here are a few examples to give you a sense of the city. Lugansk seems ok, but a bit bleak. Still I think I got some good shots. Of course, the snow makes everything look better.

Here is a museum (and theater, I think) about 1/4 mile from our flat.













A street scene at the same location. There are lots of casinos in the area. Our driver said they are small time though.













A little further ahead is the football (soccer) stadium. You can see one of the old Soviet-style mosaics above the stadium. It has a huge Christmas tree in front (180 degrees from the previous photo)



























ahead is a gymnasium of some sort. It is adjacent to the local university, and seems to have some Olympic record tied to it. It says something to the effect of "My dear homeland [something] record"













A view of one of the shopping districts, near the government buildings.













This appears to be a memorial to the Great Patriotic War (WW II). The inscription simply says 1941 1945.













These last 4 are various angles of a statue of Jesus and Mary. They have some deer decorations in the yard (apparently they have fewer problems with the lights on those than I do. Ours take hours of work every year.). The 3 girls in one picture are all about 13 years old. This seems to be a popular picture spot. I saw several people having pictures done there, including 1 wedding party. As I'm sure you are aware, Ukraine is primarily an Orthodox (either Russian Orthodox or Ukrainian Orthodox) country.

Why Ukraine?

As we began the adoption process, several people asked (and we asked ourselves), why adopt from Ukraine? After all, we have no family ties here.

In many ways, I can honestly answer, I don't know. We felt God was leading us to be here.

Nancy fell in love with a picture of a round faced little boy here.

We like that we choose the child we want to meet instead of having the government choose him for us.

We like that Ukraine has a good reputation for taking care of the small children.

But what solidified it for us was when we stumbled across this video.

merry christmas

christmas was awesome! first we opened presents and all that stuff so that was fun and then we went to the orphanage and watched a performance and...unfortunately... they decided to pull people from the audience and strangely enough expected me to know the words to their little ukrainian songs and i was like...haha umm yaaaa...it was interesting but still kinda fun. but the good thing is that all the little kids were dressed up in costumes and v and sorry about just letters for there names but we arent aloud to use their whole names online yet ( the 7 year old) was a pig and he looked adorable!! and i forgot what r ( he'll be ten in january i think the 27) was but he was really cute too :). after that the power shut off ( while i was in the bathroom too...) and that was off from about 3 till 4 and so we walked down to the big christmas tree but i didnt look at it cause i was too cold so i dragged colin into a random building there but that wasnt much warmer than outside so i was like jumping up and down and doing stuff to keep warm and i think everyone thought i was crazy but... yaaa. anyways i love you guys and i miss u and cant wait to come back home MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!

Christmas

Christmas was very different this year. Since we couldn't get a real tree we got a interesting, light weight wood carved tree. It looks pretty cool. Maybe my dad could post a picture. Well, I mostly got DVDs. The Dark Knight, Iron Man, and Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (you know the newest Indie adventure with aliens, communist spies in America, and liberals looking down of conservatives for even the thought of the spies close friends of being spies themselves). Now on to adoption. We saw our candidates again a few more times. We get toys for them that are really for kids a few years younger, but since there are developmental delays in orphanages they don't seem to mind. It's fun to see their faces light up when we give them the toys. We play with action figures and they like to chew gum. Otherwise I've been at our flat. That's about it!

A Christmas to remember

Well what do you know, it wasn't Santa that visited us in Ukraine. Actually it was Father Frost (who dresses exactly the same) and his daughter Snow Maiden.

If you don't have a chimney, that's no problem because they will slip in through the window! Snow Maiden is all dressed in blue with white fur trim. There definitely were gifts beneath our little tree that no one knew who put them there, so Father Frost found us! [Nick: He must have done that for our benefit though, because he usually leaves presents on New Year's Day]

Afterwards, we dressed and hurried over to the orphanage where all the teachers and workers performed a play for the children.

R had treated us to many of the rehearsals the day before, but everyone was in full costume including the children in the audience! V and R were dressed as little pigs! Yes we took pictures, but unfortunately we cannot post them yet. We will try later. The silly costumes took center stage as each performer danced several dances.


A man appeared as a ballerina and danced to Swan Lake. There was a forest witch with an evil skeleton man, a white fairy and a chicken man who wished to someday be a sultan with belly dancers. Children cheered and clapped and laughed.

Here's a shot of the curtain call.

Then everyone was invited to the center of the room for Ukrainian dances. R ran over and made sure his whole new family joined. We held hands and circled, jumped and clapped. One particularly silly dance had us touching our neighbors cheeks, nose and ankles during the song. I noticed Colin and Claire were all smiles and blushing too. 20 years from now they will be glad they entered in rather than sitting on the sidelines. Hurray for R!

Perhaps I'm wrong, but I don't think anyone has showed up just to watch R and V at a school event before. V was circling with his classmates when his eyes caught mine. He lit up with recognition. Afterwards they proudly posed for pictures in their costumes.

Colin and Claire are delightful throughout this whole process. We were even complimented by the orphanage director about how good their behavior is! Claire finds a way to look fashionable in all this weather. Her long chestnut hair really stands out here. Colin's hair does too, of course. All the children admire their braces. They look forward to being bigger siblings. None were upset because the amount of presents seem meager compared to previous years. The excitement of the day was enough for us all. As it is supposed to be. Plus we love the pastries here. After all, there are no calories on Christmas. Colin and Claire made one urgent request for future vacations though. They want next time to go somewhere warm!

Merry Christmas!

Just a quick one with a few pictures. Lots of stuff to tell about the day and the great show at the orphanage.

Here is the little birch tree I bought at a local department store (Rossia). And presents of course. You can't find wrapping paper here so everything is in gift bags.





















This is a picture from the Christmas tree lighting ceremony in from of Lutugino city hall. The first shot shows Vladimir Lenin admiring the tree. I think this is such a cool picture.





















The next one would be even better if Photoshopped to balance the exposure better. It also shows Lenin looking at the Christmas tree while Father Frost (Ukrainian version of Santa) dances around the tree with the local children.




















And lastly, here is a picture of Jesu Christe from the wall of the orphanage. The photo is an original photo by R himself.

Finally, I hope that everyone has a very Merry Christmas (it's still Christmas where you are) and will take time to remember what Christmas is all about. Not toys, not family and friends, not joy, or even peace on Earth. But about the birth of Jesus, God in the flesh come down to Earth to be a sacrificial atonement for our sin. A free gift for the asking.

Merry Christmas everyone.

Day 5: Yes, Yes, My Baby Said Yes, Yes....

Well, there you go. We scheduled our meeting with the orphanage director and the inspector (actually the assistant inspector) to meet with the boys again. We left Colin and Claire at home this time.
Went to Lutugino (here is the entrance to town)....



....and to the orphanage...



We prayed a lot for this meeting. Of course, we wanted the answer to be yes, but as in all things, that God's will be done.

We got out of the house about 10 minutes later than inspected, then realized that we were in trouble due to weather. There wasn't that much new snow in the ground, but like most cities, the side roads are last to be plowed (and the main road we usually take was iced over). So it took us 20 minutes just to get out of Lugansk.

We arrived at 11:05 for our 11am meeting. Not that big a deal, but I don't like to have anything that might cause others problems (at anytime, but especially when my interest could be affected). But that was no problem. The meeting began about 15 minutes late anyway.

The director asked me how the boys were behaving. She of course has been keeping tabs on our visits (as she should) and no doubt heard reports from others around the orphanage. I was caught a little off-guard as I was not expecting any questions. I said we were doing well, especially as the boys and we got to know each other better, to get more comfortable with each other, and to understand each other better. And that we were getting along very well.

No doubt our translator improved my answer (she's very good about that). Nancy also said how much we like the boys and how we are looking forward to bringing them into our family. True, and a much better answer than mine, which probably sounded a bit clinical.

The boys came in to the meeting all smiles. We sat them on our laps and gave them some gum. We showed him the picture book of our home and school and family one more time to keep everything fresh. The director smiled at V and asked him several questions in Russian.

The answer? "Da"!

I'm not sure of the questions, but from the director's inflections and the length of the question, I'm pretty sure it was
- Do you want to go live with Mama and Papa in America? Da
- Are you sure? Da
- But the other day you said no. And now you want to go? Da

R was asked the question again. He said "Da" as well. We were very happy with that but not surprised of course, as he had been asking Natasha for the last couple of days when we could all go to America. He wanted to know why we couldn't go tomorrow. Natasha explained to him that it takes several days to get approval but that it would be soon. She said he should have a talk with his brother since he needs to agree as well. He said, "I know. I have been talking with him already."

Well, clearly the boys are both in agreement now.

We said our goodbyes to the director. She said we could now take some pictures of the boys, though we shouldn't post them on the internet yet (until this time, we did not have any pictures of them. We have been careful not to break any rules). We can also take some pictures inside the orphanage, though be careful not to include any pictures of other children as it can break the law.

That's a rather long story, but basically Ukraine does not allow pre-selection of children. This is to prevent any trafficking in children. If someone's picture were posted, someone might try to adopt a specific child, which could then be interpreted as pre-selection.

We walked out of the director's office and took a couple of pictures of the boys. Well the boys were both fascinated by our cameras. That's where the trouble began.

We let R take some pictures (though he hadn't quite figured out how far to push the button). He was doing his best to take pictures of us and the room which is decorated for Christmas. Many at the orphanage were practicing for their big Christmas play (quite a production. More later).


But there were also some children around and he wanted to take pictures of them. We kept telling him "Nyet" when that occurred. We also tried to show him how to turn on the flash so the pictures wouldn't be blurry. Then he wanted to watch the rehearsals, but we needed to go upstairs to the meeting room.

He gave us the camera and we went up. Well, then it was V's turn with the camera. But there were no kids upstairs, so he pretty much could do what he wanted.

We think that was the straw that broke the camel's back. All of a sudden R ran behind one of the couches and laid down on a bench with his head buried in his arms. He wouldn't look at, or speak to, anyone.

At this point, we had no idea what was wrong (the camera story we figured out later). We tried to coax him out and to see what was wrong for about 20 minutes, but to no avail. Natasha wasn't there as she had begun the process of getting the legal documents in place and was across town.

We decided to leave him there for a while to give him a chance to calm down. We walked to the other side of the room to play with V, who had great fun, though he knew something was wrong with his brother too. He was concerned as well.

After a while R came out. I gave him the camera and he took lots of pictures (with me stopping him only when a child was in the frame). He took a picture of the entire room, foot by foot. He likes extreme close-ups (like in Wayne's World). There are several pictures of my nostrils, a fishes eyelashes, and the letter 'e' on a plaque on the wall.

All seemed well.

Natasha got back. We told her what had happened and she asked R about it. In retrospect that was about the worst thing we could do (not that I'm blaming her. We wanted to know). But that brought up all the memories with him and he went back behind the couch.

Eventually, Natasha was able to get the info out between sobs.

He had noticed how we were playing with V more than him for the last couple of days. He said we always tell him no, but V can do what he wants. He said he knew we were there to see V and not him. That just about broke our hearts. It's funny too, because to us it seemed like we only slightly indulged V, but I guess to a 9 year old, who I'm sure is not yet secure in his relationship with us, that it seemed like a lot.

At first, he said he didn't want to go to America with us. Later he said, "I'll go, but not if V goes too".

Natasha explained to him that he was the big brother and needs to understand that V is little and doesn't understand things as well as R does. She also said we love him very much and want them both to be in our family. We have to play with them both. And it is hard for us since we don't speak Russian, so sometimes we don't understand what is going on.

He held her and sobbed a bit. He then gave Nancy a small hug while she gave him a big one. He let me hug him, but I noticed his arms were to his side.

It was time for his lunch so we said goodbye and he wandered off very politely. But I heard the door slam at the bottom of the stairs. A message to us.

We spent lunch befuddled, trying to figure out the reasons for what had happened (the reasons I mentioned above). We decided it would be best to meet with R alone this afternoon so he could have some special time with us. We also got him a couple of cookies and bought him a little airplane toy (which Nancy promptly broke). Our only concern was that V would get jealous. I can tell you that the language barrier will be a challenge. Fortunately they usually don't last too long.

Meeting alone was definitely the right call. R came into the room, huge smile again, and came bounding into my arms. Big prayers of thanks went up right then.

He wanted to watch the rehearsal for the Christmas play. We sat with him on the couch. I watched his face more than the play. He has such delight in his eyes. It was like when Colin was a baby. When we watched fireworks, I would turn around and watch him. It was a better show than any fireworks display.

I went upstairs once to get Nancy's purse. He came up within seconds and took me back down to watch the show some more.

We only stayed about an hour. But all was right with the world again.

We stopped at the market on the way home to get some items for dinner. We were careful to get milk (moloko) instead of kefir (some nasty buttermilk-like substance that I bought a few days ago).

I was getting ready to go to checkout when a woman walks up to me and says, half suspiciously, "What are you doing here in Lutugino speaking in English on Christmas Eve". I was a bit stunned and babbled something unintelligible (I do have a way with women).

She explained she worked with local schools and charities and works with several Americans in the area. She was very nice. We spoke for about 15 minutes, and she gave me the phone number of a local missionary from Chattanooga that I had heard of.

On home from there.

Now I had to go Christmas shopping.

I know. I had intended to do it in Kyiv, then in Lugansk, but the free time I had expected never arrived. I found a great gift (Whew!) and have one yet to come.

We watched "A Christmas Story" as we do every year. All the characters are great, but Darren McGavin really makes that movie. One thing I particularly like is all the sub-text in the actors who are not center stage. There are lots of levels in this one.

Finished wrapping at 2am (as usual) and settled down for a long winter's nap.

Day 4, More Fun and Games

Back to the internot (or detsky dom or orphanage) on Tuesday with Colin and Claire for more playtime.

Both boys are still very excited to see us. R shows it best. He has a smile from ear to ear when he sees us coming. He sees us from far off and waves non-stop until we see him. I guess he has been waiting for us outside. When he comes in the room to see us, he runs full speed and jumps the last 10 or 20 feet for us to catch him. Fortunately he is light. I guess I know how the Flying Wallendas feel. What a great kid. Of course, V is excited as well, but he smiles and hugs without barreling us over. His smile is much more mischievous.

Today's bribe, er gift, was a pair of rubber balls with eyes and tentacles. They also have a light inside that blinks when the ball bounces. You know, the kind designed to induce seizures. These were a big hit with both boys. Unfortunately, that night someone sat on V's ball and broke it.

We played another game of Candyland. It was interesting because V was the calmer one while R kept skipping to different colors. Quite the opposite of the first game (on Day 2). Still both were fun to play with.

We played more of the same games and began holding the boys by their arms and legs and swinging them. That is a new favorite, though my back is not too thrilled. It's a good thing they are small, or I would be laid up for a few days.

We went outside to play and had a great time. The internot has a large play area. One section is asphalt. When it snows the kids slide on it until there is a run of ice. they run and slide on that. There are 3 or 4 tracks of ice out there.

The kids did that several times. They watched me try it once. Then V saw my lack of skill and held my hand and slid backwards (like you do when teaching someone to ice skate). That was neat to see him want to teach me.

The kids love chewing gum. Nancy has them say "guhm pleez". They have learned that quickly.

Of course we played more hide and seek, hokey pokey, wheelbarrow races, etc.

We try to play with the kids while keeping the noise down as much as possible. The high school kids have a class in the next room. they are in the middle of exams and I know we are bothering them. One girl sees V and goes "Ay-yi-yi" like Ricky Ricardo. We just look sheepish. I'm sure it happens all the time with that many kids around.

As we were leaving, R leaned over to me and whispered something to me. I said "Ne znayu. Ye ne penimayu." ("I don't know. I don't understand"). I had him tell Natasha, so he whispered it to her. he said. "I want Papa to bring me a radio. The kind that plays the songs." You probably have seen them before.

Colin and I ran some Christmas errands that night in Lugansk. He got Nancy a charm for her bracelet. It is an icon of Jesus and Mary. Nancy wanted something Ukrainian, so that was perfect.

Thus ends Day 4

Day 3, Part 2. Colin and Claire meet the boys

After our meeting with the Director, we left with the boys for some intensive playtime to rectify the situation. Which basically means more attention, more candy, and fewer "nyet"s.

We introduced them to Colin and Claire. They hit it off right away. Claire says the boys are "adorable". Remember that both Colin and Claire picked these boys as their top choice when we were at the SDA last week (as did Nancy and I).

The boys really like Colin and Claire too, though they 1) still get their names confused (to them both names are babble so are not girl or boy names), and 2) can't quite pronounce their names. Colin can be Cohn, Cohlin, Clon, etc. And Claire can be Crar, Kaar, Clahr, etc. But they had been looking at their picture for several days and recognize them well.

We got the boys Spiderman action figures (Spiderman, Venom, Man-Spider, Doc Ock, and Green Goblin) and split them up between the boys and Colin. Playing with action figures with them is the same way Claire used to play Barbies. Bang, Bang, Wham (as one action figure slams into another).

We played more hokey pokey. Then, we played more London Bridge and Duck, Duck, Goose. Both are quite popular. The boys are very good about making sure everyone is picked in Duck, Duck, Goose as well as most games. They are emphatic about sharing. While energetic (to say the least), both boys really can show some good manners.

Since the boys had to go to lunch, we ducked out for the same. We ate at a nice restaurant by Lake Lutugino (really more of a large pond) just past some dachas on the east side of town. We were the only ones in the restaurant, and like most, the lights were out until we arrived. Even then, they only turn on the ones necessary for our use.

The restaurant really is geared for summer traffic at the lake with a sand patio and sort of tiki-style tables and huts outside.


We saw some men out ice-fishing on the lake. The lake is not totally frozen over yet though. It's a bit too early in the season.

On the way back we stopped at a hill where there is a large monument to locals who died in the Great Patriotic War (aka World War II). I'd guess there were about 1000 names on the plaques. The red crest on the spire (too small to be seen in the picture is a hammer and sickle).

There is a very nice 360 degree view from the monument. At least it looks like a great view in the spring and summer. It was a bit bleak (and cold and windy) today.

I finally got a good shot of the main building at the orphanage.

We got back with more gum and cookies for the boys (and some sort of small toy) for the boys. They came in just as happy as ever, with big smiles and big hugs for all of us. You'd never know V had said no to us just a couple of hours before.

R and V both come in carrying their bags with all the goodies they have received so far. All are neatly tucked into the bag. Anything that comes out of the bag goes back in exactly as it came out. (I hope they can keep their rooms as neat). They still have all the packaging for every toy as well. And no one else but the owner is allowed into their bag, including Mama and Papa.

We had the boys demonstrate their budding mime skills again. They love the attention. We couldn't get them to sing with us. Of course, they don't know our songs, but they seem to sing or at least chant some Ukrainian songs and rhymes. I think we have some performers in our midst.

We looked at pictures of our house and family again. They love to do that.

We played outside briefly, but it was too cold to stay long, and our afternoon visit was relatively short.

That was about it at the orphanage that day.

We got back to Lugansk and tried to find a good place to exchange some more cash. The government of Ukraine has begun selling dollars and buying hryvnia to support their currency. The rate changed from about 8.50 hryvnia / dollar (and over 9 hryvnia / dollar on the street Friday) to 6.50. We had seen that on Sunday, but that day the banks would not even accept any dollars. We finally found a place to exchange for 7.50 so that was pretty good. We didn't exchange too much though. I never have seen government currency support to work for long. Usually they end up supporting for a few days, using up cash, then seeing a resumption of the decline.

More cabbage rolls at the mall restaurant and we were done for the day.

Another good one, all in all, despite the early morning rejection. Of course, I went to high school so I already know how to handle rejection.

Moda Ukrainian

Remember what the Beatles said:
"The Ukraine girls really knock me out, they leave the west behind."

It's true! The women here are very attractive. Especially in Kiev they are also very slender. I asked Natasha about this (who is also very slender and attractive herself) and she said that Kiev women walk alot. It's true. Now here in Lugansk the gals are still slender, but not as much as Kiev. Plus they do all this walking in high heels! Stilettos even!

A note to my dear friend who offered me her fur coat before I left. Boy did I make a mistake turning you down. This part of the world has tons of fur coats. Even women who don't have fancy lifestyles have fur coats. When we get back to Kiev, Natasha will tell me where to find a reasonable one. Well see if I get one or not.

love to all

Nancy

Day 3, Part I: V's Surprise

It's getting late, but I need to leave you with some suspense.

Knowing we wanted to adopt R and V, we went to the Director's office on Monday morning. Today, Colin and Claire were supposed to meet the Director and get approval to meet the boys. We had not yet told Colin and Claire (or Natasha) of our decision. The inspector and his assistant were there. The Director was concerned about some of our questions from the previous day (word travels fast) about size, but went over health and academic questions. We tried to assure her these were not concerns, but were information we needed to know.

Suddenly, the boys were ushered in. The Director said a lot. I picked up about 3 or 4 words and figured out she was asking R if he wanted to come to live with us in America. "Da". More questions. Each time, an emphatic "Da".

She asked the same questions to V. "Nyet". More questions. "Nyet". More that seemed to be "Why?". Silence.

Without knowing fully what had been said, it was clear that V had turned us down. It sounded to me like the way a little kid (2 or 3 year old) will say "No" to every question. "Do you like ice cream?" "No".

But even if that is the case, it is enough to throw up a road block. The law requires that the boys must agree to be adopted. That's the way it should be of course. But we were definitely taken aback. Unless he was just playing around, we think it is because we disciplined him the day before. The inspector suggested we hold off on that. The Director said we should take a day and the reconvene.

More of Day 3 later, but it is 1am. Besides, everyone likes a good cliff-hanger

Day 2 with the Boys

Trying to catch up, I really am.

We went to the orphanage (or detsky dom) on Sunday, and had a repeat of our playdate from the day before. More hide and seek, more samolyat.

We also played "hokey pokey" and "duck, duck, goose". Duck, Duck, Goose is an especially big hit.

We got to see a bit more of the orphanage as we went to the sleeping house. We did not get to see their bedrooms, but did see someone's room. It is about 7' x 7' and has 2 very small beds in it, maybe 4' long.

The building is old, but they seem to do their best to keep it clean and in good repair. The floors are very worn and badly need some stain and polyurethane. They are bare, grey wood. The walls are clean and have been painted many times. I think the paint is literally about an inch thick in some places. Kind of like Queen Elizabeth's makeup. Most paint is institutional green.

Like most places in Ukraine, the lights are out unless the room is in use, and often out even then. They do not waste electricity. Often times in a restaurant the room is totally dark when we arrive, then a few lights are turned on for our benefit. I think they turn on the heat then too. The waitresses always look cold.

One high compliment I must pay is to whomever teaches the children art. There is a lot of student art on the walls and some is very good. There are lots of letters to Father Frost (who brings toys, as opposed to Santa Claus who is just St. Nicholas. I don't honestly understand the difference, but there is one). Anyway, the letters to Father Frost (from all ages) are decorated with drawings. All were quite good, many creative, and some excellent. I wish I could take some pictures, but they are forbidden.

We got to go to the pre-school (kindergarten) class where V attends. It too is very small, perhaps 12' x 12'. There are 4 rows of 4 desks with a passage down the middle. The desks are pushed together so there is just enough room to slide in.

At the same time, the room was neat and had plenty of books, maps, etc. though it looks like the material is old. But let's face it, not much really changes from year to year at that level.

Nancy did more mime, and the boys showed us their skills some more.

We decided to try to do more quiet things as well as we could to see how V would react. Honestly, at the beginning I was more worried as he was rolling around and making noise, and being very squirmy.

I brought "How the Grinch Stole Christmas" (probably my favorite book) to read to them. We decided it would best if I paraphrased the book (since the rhymes wouldn't translate anyway) and Natasha would translate.

So I would say things like, "The Grinch was a very mean guy who didn't want children to have fun at Christmas...When the Who's started singing he would cover his ears because he hated to hear them having a good time". Then Natasha would translate. I have no idea what she said, but it was usually about 2-3x longer than what I said. (Yes, I did get a bit choked up while reading this. Read Nancy's post for that).

Anyway, they seemed to be enjoying it (R definitely was). But about halfway through V began laying down on his desk and rolling around. I guess the story was too long for him. We decided we could not let him disrupt and so stopped the story until he could sit. After a staring contest, we decided he would have to go to his room if he could not listen. Then he wouldn't hear the rest while we read to R (who sat perfectly still the whole time). He sat pretty still after that, so we were pretty proud of ourselves.

One of the supervisors (women who are not teachers but handle most other activities) came in and said we could ask her questions. We barraged her with questions about his schoolwork, behavior, activities with friends, etc. She said he was a pretty good student, probably about average. He likes to stay active but is good with completing tasks when assigned. He also encourages others to help as well. She mainly emphasized he was a very good boy. And I must say that watching him with the supervisors and watching his behavior when he was packing to leave always bore that out.

We asked several questions about his size, and she said he was on the small side of average for the kids they see. That gave us a lot of comfort.

We finally introduced the boys to Candyland. It is a great game for little kids as it is very simple and colorful and needs no directions. And we brought a few pieces of candy for the winner. We play Candyland for blood in our house. Seriously. There is a lot of trash talk the whole game. Somehow, since Claire was very small, I always ended up losing in this completely random game. But that has become a source of fun for us.

The boys caught on quickly and followed the rules well. As always, I ended up at the back of the pack. V won, with R close behind. They got extremely excited (in a good way) as they got closer to the Candy Castle (the finish line). It was pretty cool.

Soon after, we had to pack up. More hugs and "Da svedaniyas" and we were off again.

As I mentioned yesterday, I was about 80-85% positive after Day 1. On the first half of Day 2 I was a bit lower as I was worried about V's behavior. But seeing how he responded to some light discipline made me feel even better. But I was still not sure. (Nancy was feeling positive too, but was less sure than I the whole time, but I will let her comment on that.) After all, it was only 2 days. But I definitely was feeling pretty good about these kids.

Claire wanted to go shopping since she and Colin had been cooped up for 2 days at the flat (since they could not yet meet the boys). We went to a small mall in town, but it was only open for a few more minutes. And like most shopping in Ukraine I think, seemed to consist only of black high heel boots and women's underwear (not at the same place of course. It's not that kind of mall). We left soon and tried to find a restaurant.





After about half an hour of ducking in and out of the cold, we finally found a restaurant ("X. O" I have no idea what that means, but that was the name). Quite good, and we all ate for about $50. Not bad for a full service meal for 4. I had some amzing pork with mushrooms and cheese.

It turns out pork is very popular in Ukraine (another sign I was in the right place). Apparently Ukraine has been attacked by Turks many times in the past. Each time, they would loot all the gold, silver, animals, etc. But they would always leave the pigs since the Muslims consider them unclean. But as Mom would say, "That just means there's more for me". So pork became a traditional meal. They do a great job with it.

Claire was pretty excited to find out that the restaurant had a "squat toilet". 'Nuff said.


As Nancy mentioned earlier, we watched Patrick Stewart's version of "A Christmas Carol" on DVD (we brought all our Christmas DVDs). Hearing Jacob Marley talk about "Mankind was my business", and The Ghost of Christmas Past speak of brought so much joy to his workers for just a few pounds was really getting to me. Then as we saw young Ebeneezer Scrooge let his fiance leave him while old Scrooge (in ghost form) was telling him not to be afraid and not to let her go was getting to me.

God speaks to us in many ways. I suddenly realized that I wanted these boys to come home. I had no more doubt. I told Nancy, and she agreed. We were ready to let the Director know.

More on that in Day 3.

[FYI, Patrick Stewart was excellent in A Christmas Carol, as he always is. I am a huge fan of Star Trek: The Next Generation and own all 7 seasons on DVD. Highly recommended. He gave an even better performance in his guest shot on "Extras", the Ricky Gervais series on HBO a couple of years ago. [If you don't know, Gervais is the originator of "The Office" on BBC which gave birth to the American version on NBC, which happens to be the best show on TV]. To see Patrick Stewart on "Extras", see Episode 6 of Season 1. His scene is hilarious, but is not for kids.]

Nick is such a softee

And the Grinch realized something he hadn't before,
Maybe, he thought, Christmas doesn't come from a store.
Maybe, he thought, Christmas means a little bit more.


I am married to the sweetest guy! Sometimes I forget how compassionate he is and then there are moments like these.

Two days ago, while we played with the boys, the supervisors let us inside a small classroom. It was very old, but not dirty, with litttle Ukrainian pictures on the walls and some of the children's art work. We decided to read a story outloud to them with Natasha interpreting. Nick read "The Grinch That Stole Christmas", but shortened the story to match their attention span (especially since we are reading to them in a foriegn language.) Well, the old softee said "the Grinch realized that Christmas was something more than just toys." And his eyes misted over as he thought about how these boys didn't have a lot of toys or much of anything really. Then his eyes met mine and he blushed while I giggled. Only Nick could get misty eyed while reading "The Grinch."

That evening we watched "A Christmas Carol," starring Patrick Stewart. It's a classic. When Jacob Marley said to Scrooge, "Business? Mankind was my business. The common welfare was my business." Nick was again touched to his very soul. Later that night (misty eyed again) he told me he definately wanted to adopt these boys and how they need a father and mother and how he would regret not meeting their need. So I reminded him that there are other orphaned children. Was he sure these are the very ones? He said "yes."

Now, to finish this story I must take you back to the morning before we left to visit the boys and read them Dr Seuss. I'd been having devotionals online, and almost every site spoke of the Christmas story and how Jesus' birth was a sign from heaven. Well, my very prayers had been for a sign to affirm my desire to adopt these boys was also God's will. And as I held my teary husband in my arms I realized my prayers were answered.