Day 5: Yes, Yes, My Baby Said Yes, Yes....

Well, there you go. We scheduled our meeting with the orphanage director and the inspector (actually the assistant inspector) to meet with the boys again. We left Colin and Claire at home this time.
Went to Lutugino (here is the entrance to town)....



....and to the orphanage...



We prayed a lot for this meeting. Of course, we wanted the answer to be yes, but as in all things, that God's will be done.

We got out of the house about 10 minutes later than inspected, then realized that we were in trouble due to weather. There wasn't that much new snow in the ground, but like most cities, the side roads are last to be plowed (and the main road we usually take was iced over). So it took us 20 minutes just to get out of Lugansk.

We arrived at 11:05 for our 11am meeting. Not that big a deal, but I don't like to have anything that might cause others problems (at anytime, but especially when my interest could be affected). But that was no problem. The meeting began about 15 minutes late anyway.

The director asked me how the boys were behaving. She of course has been keeping tabs on our visits (as she should) and no doubt heard reports from others around the orphanage. I was caught a little off-guard as I was not expecting any questions. I said we were doing well, especially as the boys and we got to know each other better, to get more comfortable with each other, and to understand each other better. And that we were getting along very well.

No doubt our translator improved my answer (she's very good about that). Nancy also said how much we like the boys and how we are looking forward to bringing them into our family. True, and a much better answer than mine, which probably sounded a bit clinical.

The boys came in to the meeting all smiles. We sat them on our laps and gave them some gum. We showed him the picture book of our home and school and family one more time to keep everything fresh. The director smiled at V and asked him several questions in Russian.

The answer? "Da"!

I'm not sure of the questions, but from the director's inflections and the length of the question, I'm pretty sure it was
- Do you want to go live with Mama and Papa in America? Da
- Are you sure? Da
- But the other day you said no. And now you want to go? Da

R was asked the question again. He said "Da" as well. We were very happy with that but not surprised of course, as he had been asking Natasha for the last couple of days when we could all go to America. He wanted to know why we couldn't go tomorrow. Natasha explained to him that it takes several days to get approval but that it would be soon. She said he should have a talk with his brother since he needs to agree as well. He said, "I know. I have been talking with him already."

Well, clearly the boys are both in agreement now.

We said our goodbyes to the director. She said we could now take some pictures of the boys, though we shouldn't post them on the internet yet (until this time, we did not have any pictures of them. We have been careful not to break any rules). We can also take some pictures inside the orphanage, though be careful not to include any pictures of other children as it can break the law.

That's a rather long story, but basically Ukraine does not allow pre-selection of children. This is to prevent any trafficking in children. If someone's picture were posted, someone might try to adopt a specific child, which could then be interpreted as pre-selection.

We walked out of the director's office and took a couple of pictures of the boys. Well the boys were both fascinated by our cameras. That's where the trouble began.

We let R take some pictures (though he hadn't quite figured out how far to push the button). He was doing his best to take pictures of us and the room which is decorated for Christmas. Many at the orphanage were practicing for their big Christmas play (quite a production. More later).


But there were also some children around and he wanted to take pictures of them. We kept telling him "Nyet" when that occurred. We also tried to show him how to turn on the flash so the pictures wouldn't be blurry. Then he wanted to watch the rehearsals, but we needed to go upstairs to the meeting room.

He gave us the camera and we went up. Well, then it was V's turn with the camera. But there were no kids upstairs, so he pretty much could do what he wanted.

We think that was the straw that broke the camel's back. All of a sudden R ran behind one of the couches and laid down on a bench with his head buried in his arms. He wouldn't look at, or speak to, anyone.

At this point, we had no idea what was wrong (the camera story we figured out later). We tried to coax him out and to see what was wrong for about 20 minutes, but to no avail. Natasha wasn't there as she had begun the process of getting the legal documents in place and was across town.

We decided to leave him there for a while to give him a chance to calm down. We walked to the other side of the room to play with V, who had great fun, though he knew something was wrong with his brother too. He was concerned as well.

After a while R came out. I gave him the camera and he took lots of pictures (with me stopping him only when a child was in the frame). He took a picture of the entire room, foot by foot. He likes extreme close-ups (like in Wayne's World). There are several pictures of my nostrils, a fishes eyelashes, and the letter 'e' on a plaque on the wall.

All seemed well.

Natasha got back. We told her what had happened and she asked R about it. In retrospect that was about the worst thing we could do (not that I'm blaming her. We wanted to know). But that brought up all the memories with him and he went back behind the couch.

Eventually, Natasha was able to get the info out between sobs.

He had noticed how we were playing with V more than him for the last couple of days. He said we always tell him no, but V can do what he wants. He said he knew we were there to see V and not him. That just about broke our hearts. It's funny too, because to us it seemed like we only slightly indulged V, but I guess to a 9 year old, who I'm sure is not yet secure in his relationship with us, that it seemed like a lot.

At first, he said he didn't want to go to America with us. Later he said, "I'll go, but not if V goes too".

Natasha explained to him that he was the big brother and needs to understand that V is little and doesn't understand things as well as R does. She also said we love him very much and want them both to be in our family. We have to play with them both. And it is hard for us since we don't speak Russian, so sometimes we don't understand what is going on.

He held her and sobbed a bit. He then gave Nancy a small hug while she gave him a big one. He let me hug him, but I noticed his arms were to his side.

It was time for his lunch so we said goodbye and he wandered off very politely. But I heard the door slam at the bottom of the stairs. A message to us.

We spent lunch befuddled, trying to figure out the reasons for what had happened (the reasons I mentioned above). We decided it would be best to meet with R alone this afternoon so he could have some special time with us. We also got him a couple of cookies and bought him a little airplane toy (which Nancy promptly broke). Our only concern was that V would get jealous. I can tell you that the language barrier will be a challenge. Fortunately they usually don't last too long.

Meeting alone was definitely the right call. R came into the room, huge smile again, and came bounding into my arms. Big prayers of thanks went up right then.

He wanted to watch the rehearsal for the Christmas play. We sat with him on the couch. I watched his face more than the play. He has such delight in his eyes. It was like when Colin was a baby. When we watched fireworks, I would turn around and watch him. It was a better show than any fireworks display.

I went upstairs once to get Nancy's purse. He came up within seconds and took me back down to watch the show some more.

We only stayed about an hour. But all was right with the world again.

We stopped at the market on the way home to get some items for dinner. We were careful to get milk (moloko) instead of kefir (some nasty buttermilk-like substance that I bought a few days ago).

I was getting ready to go to checkout when a woman walks up to me and says, half suspiciously, "What are you doing here in Lutugino speaking in English on Christmas Eve". I was a bit stunned and babbled something unintelligible (I do have a way with women).

She explained she worked with local schools and charities and works with several Americans in the area. She was very nice. We spoke for about 15 minutes, and she gave me the phone number of a local missionary from Chattanooga that I had heard of.

On home from there.

Now I had to go Christmas shopping.

I know. I had intended to do it in Kyiv, then in Lugansk, but the free time I had expected never arrived. I found a great gift (Whew!) and have one yet to come.

We watched "A Christmas Story" as we do every year. All the characters are great, but Darren McGavin really makes that movie. One thing I particularly like is all the sub-text in the actors who are not center stage. There are lots of levels in this one.

Finished wrapping at 2am (as usual) and settled down for a long winter's nap.